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| Rhoobarb |
I like to play at clubs. So much so that it is my primary reason for going to them, it rates - for me - higher than socialising, although I do enjoy that too. OK so there are times we go and we don't play, or even times when we go and only one of us plays. That's part of life.
I wrote a blog some time back and I link to it from my profile, describing what I like and who I'd like to find to play with. (Yeah I'm promoting myself again, but if I don't... then who will? 
)
This does of course mean that my partner, Bohnanza, also plays with other people, and I'm happy for him to do so (so long as it doesn't monopolise his whole evening. I do want a bit of his time for me too!). I've been asked if I mind him playing with other women and the answer is almost always "No, not at all" unless he spends all evening with them in which case I get a teeny bit peeved and feel like I'm being ignored, which I hate! But if he wants to go off and play with someone for part of the evening, then that's his choice and no-one is stepping on my toes.
If I've got someone to play with, someone to talk to, or in the last resort, a book to read, then I'm fine.
People suggest to me that X, Y or Z is a good person for me to ask to play with me, but then they add - "but he wouldn't suit you as he's not hard enough". Hell, no way do I want ANYONE else hitting me as hard as B does. He does it because he judges, very precisely, just how much I can take and then, sometimes, he goes a little bit further. Because of the emotional connection I have with him, I accept it, it's part of our relationship, but if someone else tried it to the same extent, they'd be overstepping the mark a bit. And I'd probably find some way to let them know it 
In the same way he doesn't hit everyone else as hard as he does me. Some maybe, yes, but most times he doesn't know them well enough to start off whaling in like he might with me. Different people get different treatments.
In short, I'm fine with him playing with others. I've mostly got over my jealousy issues although it has taken a lot of work and a long time. Strange how we change as we get older and learn more about what we like and don't like, and then seek out more of the experiences we do like.
Edited Sun 20 Sep 09, 11:57 PM by Rhoobarb
