This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 18 Sep 10, 8:25 AM camdencouple UK(NW), 6 yrs  |
This is obviously a very difficult time for you but one that you need to work through together. Needless to say your wife never should have visited this dom without first telling you, you are right to be upset. The fact that she felt she had no option but to see him would suggest that this a hidden part of her sexuality that has only recently surfaced. The two of you need to spend some time talking frankly about you sexual needs and how they can be satisfied without hurting the other. In our relationship we both enjoy playing with other people but at the same time we guard our relationship very carefully. Bringing other people into your sexual activities can be very exciting and allow each of you to experience something that the other half cannot give, but you d need to do it in a way that does not damage your underlying relationship. What work for us is that we only play as a couple and have discussed and agreed what feels emotionally safe and what does not. Maybe you could do the same. A suggestion might be to try and find a dom couple who could top you both at the same time or even pay for a pro-dom and pro-domme to co-top you. Someone else suggested that maybe you could bring yourself to top her or even construct a scenario where you both visit the dom, she could top you, restrain you, then her in turn be topped by the dom. There are a number of possibilities you just need to discuss them and find some that work for you both. I hope things work out for you. Balzac |
| 18 Sep 10, 10:02 AM Agent_Cooper UK(CF), 4 yrs  |
We all have different needs that can be met in different ways. You and your partner seem to enjoy aspects of BDSM together while there are aspects that your wife feels need to be met by allowing her to be in touch with her sub side. From what you've said it appears that she's a switch and you enjoy aspects of being sub. Now there is a positive aspect that perhaps you may not have thought of; if she is going to an experienced Dom this may give her some good ideas how to top you. The best advise is for both of you to go with the flow and to be honest with each other considering your feelings and needs. |
