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| jules9 |
I was so sure I had met the love of my life. Obviously I was wrong, yet I am still struggling to believe it.
It feels like he has changed into a completely different person, I thought so much more of him, and strangely still do. Maybe I am in denial, maybe he is just hurting so much due to what he has been through and lashing out at me is his way of dealing with it. I have no doubt that he sees what has happened in a completely different light, but his refusal to talk about it means I am none the wiser.
To be honest, I doubt I'll ever find out. Yet it still hurts so much. I know I'm not the first, neither will I be the last. I know I have to pull myself together and try to get on with my life, such as it is.
The one good thing about all of this, is that it has stopped me thinking about my illness. I am no longer fixated on waiting for the letter from the hospital. Although needless to say, the concern is still there.
I've just read this back, and gosh what a load of waffle, yet it's honest and true. It would be easy for me to list every little thing he has done to me, yet deep down I still believe he's a good man. I have no interest in being with him any more - too much has happened for that to ever be possible, yet I know he has the most amazing things to offer the right person, and yes, I am sad that it didn't turn out to be me. Yet as the old adage goes, if he hits you once it's his fault, if he hits you twice it's your own...
| 8 Sep 09, 3:50 PM Mimi_69 UK(M), 4 yrs |
as i've said before, find something that will occupy yourself. Time is the healer. bite me... please? | |
| 8 Sep 09, 4:06 PM jules9 UK(CH), 3 yrs    |
Thanks angel, I know it will come in time. Maybe it's wrong of me, but I am finding that chatting to a lot of rather lovely Doms on here is a nice distraction... | |
| 8 Sep 09, 9:08 PM just_iana UK(SS), 6 yrs |
just a big hug from me, you know where i am if you want a natter/hug xxx you've both been through the mill, and that can cause erratic behaviour. Try not to over analyse, it just sends you round and round in circles (or it does me) but enjoy some flirtation and distraction , all very good for the soul at times! xx
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| 8 Sep 09, 9:33 PM Iphis_me UK(E), 4 yrs  |
It's so hard and confusing when things turn out to be radically different from how you thought they were, when they happen in such a different way from what you expected. When someone you trusted lets you down. I don't know what to say except give yourself time, go easy on yourself and look after yourself as well as you can. You might not believe it now but it does get easier. Take it from someone who's been there fairly recently, it really does get easier even if you can't see it right now. Hugs xx "The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates | |
| 15 Sep 09, 12:53 AM bloodlineS UK(SK), 8 yrs |
Love, and the desire to love can sometimes hinder our sight. |
