True and real dominants ... a modest proposal (92)

I think it's a good idea. I doubt we can expect everyone to do it, but there's no harm in some people trying. I will try to remember - though tbh I don't think I have tended to pick up when the word is used in a genuine way anyway and say anything at all about it. In general, I'm not someone who 'takes the piss' very often (esp not to strangers) cos I find it to be a pretty distasteful (and conceited) behaviour.

*shrugs and smiles*

De

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Edited 9 Sep 09, 11:00 AM by Degenerate

I hang about on cycling forums sometimes, and there's a well-known acronym on those of POB (Pedestrian On Bike) to describe a cyclist who rides down the pavement, on the phone, smoking a fag, mowing down little old ladies and only bothering to use the road to jump red lights. It's partly born out of frustration than when non-cyclists hear "cyclist," that's the image they often come up with, and partly out of a desire to self-define as better than others.

Also occasionally read lesbian forums and there are similar 'in jokes' or 'cruel jibes' (depending on how you read them, and who says it) such as "gold star lesbian" to mean a lesbian who has never had sex with a man. Also, infinite variations on whether a 'real' lesbian would a) consider dating a transsexual, b) consider dating a bisexual, c) engage in the butch-femme debate, and lots of jokes about cats.

"All the gear no idea" is the most common phrase, but in any community which has some sort of identity - particularly when that is connected to sexual identity, which is central to many people's ids - there is going to be in-joke jargon happening. Whether it's used in an exclusionary way or a jokey way is entirely down to who's speaking, about what, and to whom, so it's impossible to police even if that were desirable.

The 'true' label can be amusing (I had a joke with a friend (not on IC) who was teasing me that I'd need a lot more work before I was a 'true sub' - the teasing turned into a scene *grin*). Or it can be hostile: I once had a memo telling me that my "abrasive and superior" posting style meant I couldn't possibly be a true sub. (I was rather flattered.)

If I'd come across the term "true dom" back then, with the surely uncontentious meaning that Tanos proposes, I'd have known to be more on the lookout. Maybe I was naive, but it hadn't occurred to me that there might be people out there who knowingly claim to be doms when they aren't.

Rather than doms self-proclaiming as "true doms", (which I agree is undignified and self-defeating) I think the term is more useful as a negative applied to others, as in the warning "Be careful, he's a vanilla out for easy sex, not a true/genuine/real dom".

Edited 9 Sep 09, 3:45 PM by daitchen

Can't see how you can be a real/true dom your just your type of dom. It's the lie not wether your a true dom or not.

In most walks of life you always have the real ones as they want you to think.

As a biker i do look at people who are wanabees and you can spot them miles away there usualy the ones spouting about am a real biker , when you meet people in any walk of life you can spot the genuine ones .

Which after another long winded ramble soz ppl I call myself a genuine dom or biker and don't need to shout about it.

It is nice when people actually say what they mean and mean what they say, but unfortunately too many people don't!

http://RopeTop.com http://surrenderclub.co.uk

Escaped from the parallel universe

It would be nice if the "true" Dominants didn't have to qualify their status at all, because it was the norm for all Dominants to be "true", but as it isn't I'd suggest renaming the *other* type rather than changing the norm.

I usually go with the word "fuckwit" for the type described above

judy

I must be only one in a million (© David Bowie)

Or a genuinely modestly modest one, or what?

How can you tell? Modesty is quite mercurial, like that. It's a great thing to show off with.

Perhaps if everyone faked rejection, would the response be 'Ho hum, never mind, was just a thought'?, or some kind of a strop? And what's the difference between modesty and self deprocation?

Anyway, ponder that, my ego needs stroking....

Why poison your liver when I could eat it for you?
The antidote to whinge threads...?

Words are easy to craft into a meaningful way to 'spin' to the advantage of the writer.

Deeds are the result of the experience.

Take nothing for granted, accept that some people aren't as articulate as others and that those whom are skilled at writing may not be honest.

However people most of the time are unaware of themselves and consequently write what they THINK they are and not how they really are. Until the personalities of the two meet each other will their true characters be revealed.

Today's the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. - Faith is a certainty without evidence-trust is empirical.

Agreed.

Toak

FEMALE, BONDAGE-FRIENDLY MODEL SOUGHT. I am seeking to update my "How To" shibari bondage pictures (see my profile pics, the clothed blonde tied in red and black) with a model more "enthusiastic" about BDSM, and who is happy to be photographed nude. MEMO ME if this is you.