Rounded_With_An_Edge's profile
Posted by Rounded_With_An_Edge
on Sat 5 Sep 09, 1:18 AM to Rounded_With_An_Edge's blog.
I sit here, thinking i need to share, its cathartic, and i find release and make sense of the words that flow through my body...via my fingers, through the keys into print on the screen.
I am pissed off at this present moment of time, but what has happened tonight has happened in various ways quite a few times over the past decade.. things just never seem to flow simple... or easy... or straightforward, it seems that theres always a hidden something, a glitch in the matrix, hmmm
I went across London tonight, for an interview at a University... I wish to embark on a course to aquire the paperwork that will allow me to work in the field that i desire to. After much searching over the past few weeks online, realising that new courses start this month i found one that seemed to cover much of what i was looking for. I contacted via e-mail a person who was in charge of running it, and they sent me mail back, i sent one to them, and i got one back.. They said they had made an appointment for me tonight at 9:15pm, also that there would be an application form sent out to me, to fill that in, bring it and some referances and he would be there to meet me...
The application form was supposed to arrive tuesday... Come today it still hadnt arrived.. Hmmm thinks I, well.. maybe if i get there early etc then perhaps i can tell him whats what and fill one out, or come to some agreement with him.
Then theres the day of projection and nerves... much of today was spent clockwatching, forcasting exactly how long it would take me to get to where i had to go, allowing for any possible tube problems, using google earth to see exactly where i needed to go to.. You know, meticulous preparation.. thats how i am.. im a perfectionist, i strive to leave nothing to chance... Well... at least i think i do.
So off i go at the pre forcasted time, and the journey goes faster than i thought it would, im zipping through various mood altering tunes on the I-touch, playing over the scene of the interview over and over, how i was going to take control of it, stake my claim to a place, then glimpsing female thighs on the carrage etc...
I get to the Uni... Im at the door of the reception, of the block, 20 mins early... but.. i have a strange feeling... hmmm somethings not right... I check the address for the 10th time, well this IS the place... i go in... theres a security guard, i tell him why im there and that im to meet a certain person at the forementioned time... He looks puzzled...he says theres no one in the building, just him, and that at 10pm it gets closed down...
He checks for the persons name on the computer, it doesnt come up, the mans IT skills are not as good as his security skills, he mispells the name a few times before i write it out in big block capitals... he gets it right, but the database sasy NO. I look at the clock on the wall.. 9:15pm... just me and a security guard.. no one else, he says that the place is normally empty by 8pm, hes never seen someone come in for an interview at this time before....
So i look to the heavens and i think "FUCKING TYPICAL"... Then i question myself, was i 100% sure of the time, well of course i was, i read the fucking mail like 20 times all proper made up... proper excited... I bid him farewell.. and came back to mine...
I open my mail, and re read, and yes the time is at 9:15 pm, so, using that mail i reply to said person, and tell them that i was there, i waited, then left...as no one turned up....
So, the aftermath, i think he has made a mistake, i think... and i will soon know if im right, that instead of AM he typed in PM... How the misspelling of one simple letter on the keyboard can mean so much, well, i await his reply, what can i do... all in all, yes i may get that fabled old word thats been said to me a million times...
Sorry
Human error, we all make them, thats why we are who we are, but it seems that at times, for me, when i need basic simple information, human error creeps into the equasion, and screws up everything i have done leading up to that point. Its happened to me in so many ways...and yes.. i do have to .. at the end of the day... Accept.
And now, i feel better... better that i have been able to vent this, i had luck wished to me today, i was nervous but excited, i knew and know that i cant have any expectations on the selection process, all i can do is sell me to them and the course... no more no less... As long as i get a good shot at that, then i have rolled the dice, but now im in limbo, and have to wait and see what can be done about all this.
Uni will be a long thing, 2-3 yrs, and considering i have never done anything like this before a bit daunting as well, i went a different path after school you see... onto site, creating and building... but that trade has died for various reasons, and i dont see myself on a site in 10 yrs time... I couldnt do it, and my life has dictated that theres another course for me, thus i have put effort into the ability of making the small steps needed to get to where i want to go... and then this...
PM instead of AM.
