This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| Wed 2 Sep 09, 11:44 AM star_phoenix 8 yrs  |
I've been thinking about this for a while. Sometimes when I'm very stressed I don't feel subbie but Master makes me meet him and a good caning or bdsm session makes me feel better. Not just sub space but a total feeling of loss of power empties the mind. I have a lot of sadness inside at the moment and I just can't face a session but Master wants to hold me and help me. Sometimes when I've had a session with Master and been sad inside I find myself crying. Sometimes tears and sometimes total release. I feel in a quandry as my stress level is so high at the moment that I feel I can't play, sometimes I can hardly breathe. Question is... emotions and play, such a minefield, any advice please. | |
| 2 Sep 09, 11:57 AM Souci_X UK(BA), 5 yrs  |
I suffer from stress a lot, and I would actually recommend that you find a way of dealing with it without using a scene to help you. There is a reason for this if (heaven forbid) your relationship ends what will you do then? It is times at emotional frenzy we make stupid decisions. So some recommendations, stresspac is wonderful once a day you can learn so many tools to destress, another is simple meditation and making sure you are really comfortable. I know when you get het up it can be hard to allow yourself to submit and that makes it worse, like a spiral. Also intense emotions can cause physical reactions, if you are stressed and play you could throw up etc and fundementally make yourself worse. It is one thing to play after a bad day, quite another to use it as a crutch for an emotion you regularly suffer with Edited 2 Sep 09, 11:59 AM by Souci_X | |
| 2 Sep 09, 12:06 PM Subtle_Submission UK, 3 yrs |
I understand what you're going through Star. When the mind is ticking over matters, it's probably not a good idea to play unless you feel you can or want to, and also can handle the intense emotions it will bring you. Be strong, take all the time you need, and work through things at your own speed and in your own time. Perhaps take a day off work? Having some 'me' time can really help, and sometimes it's a help not having any outside pressures for a day. A 'duvet day' is a top way to unwind and relax. Alternatively, why not have lengthy chat with your Master. Sometimes sharing the load/problems and talking them through is a help in itself. Hope you feel better soon. SS x | |
| 2 Sep 09, 12:25 PM star_phoenix 8 yrs |
Thanks, i do enjoy the gym also and swimming, helps get stress out, a nice hard session x | |
| 2 Sep 09, 12:38 PM male2shemaid UK(SA), 4 yrs |
Reading this alarm bells have begun sounding - crying inside, hardly able to breathe, openly stating you are stressed. You are obviously VERY stressed and it screams out from this page. Being stressed means you are ill - if you had sores all over your body you would go to a GP but most people do not when their minds are not well. You are not well. You need to go and see your GP ASAP, explain how you are feeling to your GP and get yourself referred to a good stress counsellor. You need help. I know others on here will probably pop in with some rubbish that I am over-reacting but I can spot seriously stressed people a mile off. You need stress counselling, probably some kind of cognitive behaviour therapy and you need to talk to someone - a professional. You may also need a short-term dose of a SSRI or modern anti-depressant to help you at this time whilst the CBT, counselling, etc, can kick in. You need to investigate the counselling, the talking, the CBT and then you need to investigate things such as Yoga, Tai Chi, breathing and visualisation exercises. There is an excellent book by Edmund J Bourne called 'The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook' which I often recommend to people as it is perhaps the best book out there on recognising the stressors in your life, explaining about modern anti-depressants and then going through everything from CBT to Yoga. You do not need someone spanking or caning you at this point in your life. You need professional help. Please go and get the help that you so obviously need. One in four people will need such help at some point in their lives - those who get it live long, happy lives, some who do not get it don't. Re-read your OP and understand the inner you who is writing it and crying out for help. Listen to the inner you.
| |
| 2 Sep 09, 9:59 PM TwistedDragon 9 yrs |
XXX | |
| 3 Sep 09, 10:12 AM dirtdogsteve UK(WC), 4 yrs |
I had a very stressful time once (problems with nasty neighbours) and going to a counsellor (I was lucky my GP at the time used to have one in house!) was the best best thing I could have done (aswell as moving). It was so good to be led down the road of revealing what was causing me the pain. Also being able to offload onto someone who doesn't know you was fantastic. By which I mean they are there to do the job (helping you through your problem) and you can weep, emote, open up etc to someone who does understand the situation (they HAVE seen it all before trust me)but you don't get the kind of guilty feeling that you might with a friend e.g. "I don't want to burden you/don't want you to see me like this". Plus it really does help you focus on problems and solutions and then become able to share it with your friends and cherish their opinions and support. Personally I found being 'groomed' by a counsellor to just let it all out was so much better than the idea of say going to a psychotherapist, which to me is a lot more judgemental (in that it is based on analysis) and I have met lots of psychotherapists/psychiatrists out and about and too me they all seem pretty mixed up themselves. So go on -inflict your stress on a paid professional and then treat yourself to something relaxing like a lovely massage. It's a start | |
| 5 Sep 09, 12:01 AM misfit UK, 3 yrs |
Yes I know how you feel. My stress comes from my occupation and for at least 2 weeks in the month my levels are probably at a dangerously high level. When I am like this I do not feel like playing either. In fact I will go further and say I do not feel like being around people at all at these times. Best M Space travels in my blood. And there ain't nothing I can do about it. | |
| 5 Sep 09, 1:07 AM Needy_Pickle 4 yrs |
| |
| 5 Sep 09, 1:09 AM Needy_Pickle 4 yrs |
Exercise also sorts this out. It produces a hormone which generally makes you feel better. Pickle | |
| 5 Sep 09, 1:31 AM FetishJess UK(BN), 5 yrs |
I think this is somewhat alarmist. Everyone deals with stress in a different way and declaring someone as "ill" is totally unfair. When I'm stressed I tend to hide for a bit and come out when I'm ready. My friends know that if I'm silent for a few days that I'm fine and just want some time out. Sometimes I just throw myself into going out so I don't have time alone to think about the stuff that's on my mind. No one way is the right way and you have to deal with it in the way you see fit. I'm sure people can help and support you, if that's what you want or just be there after you come out to say how nice it is to see you again. |
