Posted by Mabell on Sun 30 Aug 09, 7:31 PM to Mabell's blog.
Now, I don't want people thinking I've got a flappy fanny (what a godawful term fanny is), nor that I leave a little trail of wee everywhere I go, but I am interested in the benefits of toning up my unseen muscles in the pursuit of better orgasms.
I had always believed that I had the kegel muscles of a virgin, but unless I'm planning to pull a lorry with them at a summer fete I suppose it's hard to be sure. So I see no harm in giving them a little workout.
Question is, what shall I get?
There are things with springs, things with weights, things with electrics, things that cost peanuts and things that cost a sodding fortune. Do any of them work, or is it all bullshit?
My plan is to create a novelty act which includes firing ping pong balls out my cunt, but unless I do some prep, they're only likely to drop wetly between my legs with faint hearted plop. Whatever shall I do?
| 30 Aug 09, 7:47 PM Troublesome_1 UK, 6 yrs   |
aparently the love balls can help... as they encourage your muscles to squeeze together to hold them in and improve them.. i think they have helped mine...that is until i get horny and wet and then gravity takes over.. | |
| 30 Aug 09, 7:49 PM faeryboi 6 yrs |
An old midwife told me once the secret isnt to clench your fanny muscles its to clench as if you are trying not to poo. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
Indira Gandhi | |
| 30 Aug 09, 8:06 PM Troublesome_1 UK, 6 yrs |
or stopping your wee mid flow a few times for a few seconds.. is supposed to help. | |
| 30 Aug 09, 8:09 PM Mabell 5 yrs |
Seriously though, is this part of my problem? I'd always thought love balls were a con. I can't feel them at all when they're in -- which is probably just as well, or I'd be hot and horny every time I stuffed a tampon in -- do some people actually get excited with these things? (well yes, clearly they do, sorry don't mean to cheapen your kindly intentioned comment.) Unless of course, they weighed enough to make a hole in the floor when they fell out... The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. - Terry Pratchett | |
| 30 Aug 09, 8:12 PM Dovetail UK, 3 yrs  |
You can't beat Pelvic Floor Exercises. Sorry I will have to do homework to get links to work. netdoctor.co.uk/womenshealth/sui/pelvicfloor Or just search on Pelvic Floor Exercises. | |
| 30 Aug 09, 8:29 PM astrid_the_spy UK(G), 8 yrs |
Yeah, my mother, a midwife told me that too. Something to do with your front and back pelvic floor muscles. You should try and exercise both and vary between clenching and un clenching and do long clenches till you can't clench any more But to be honest I wasn't listening properly because when ever my mother mentions anything to do with sex or lady parts I generally put my fingers in my ear and shout "LA LA LA LA NOT LISTENING" | |
| 30 Aug 09, 8:36 PM Mabell 5 yrs |
Honest guv, I did my pelvic floor exercises when the midwife told me to. My baby was 11.8lbs, it was a case of do the pelvic floors or have my ovaries fall out every time I sniffed. We're not talking remedial exercise to stop my vagina making random appearances at munches, we're talking kegels like a porn star. Surely there's more than preventing imaginary fecal incontinence to give me a cunt that could suck a fiver off a pub carpet. edited for typo The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. - Terry Pratchett Edited 30 Aug 09, 8:48 PM by Mabell | |
| 30 Aug 09, 9:33 PM RubyRouge UK(S), 4 yrs |
This made me laugh so hard! I nearly weed haha.
"While the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there?" | |
| 30 Aug 09, 10:58 PM Troublesome_1 UK, 6 yrs |
christ!!!! what size tampons do you use!!!!!!!!!! lol.. the balls are round, usually with a ball bearing or two in which adds weight... and with your vaginal secretions, it needs to work the muscles to help hold them in place!
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| 30 Aug 09, 11:03 PM Betony UK, 7 yrs |
I thought lots of orgasms tightened up your pelvic floor.... |
