Posted by Ms_Tytania on Thu 27 Aug 09, 12:03 PM to Ms_Tytania's blog.
I'm very tactile
A very popular statement in many people's profiles, but what does that exactly mean? I struggle at seeing it as something positive. In fact, I struggle at seeing as anything worth mentioning at all. It makes you sound like Austin Powers' randier brother.
Are you trying to say that you grope every 'potential' you meet, because you can't help themselves? Or that you'll start wanking fiercely as soon as we meet? Now, that will make you instantly popular. Thanks for warning me anyway.
Other universal platitudes that litter the profiles of people with absolutely nothing to say, and that make me foam at the mouth with rage, are:
"I enjoy good food". As opposed to the rest of us, oiks who enjoy nothing better than tucking into your trash bin.
"I love life". Well, I fucking hate it, and I'm looking for a like-minded Emo, so isn't going to be wedding bells for us, I'm afraid.
"I like to live life to the full". What everybody stuck in an office 40 hours a week says.
"I like the normal things..." Uh-Huh. And may I ask, what and who is normal in your world?
"I enjoy the good things in life"... ok, give me an example at least. I'd say that "the good things in life" are as varied as there are people. Or maybe they are trying to say that everybody else enjoys the BAD things in life. Whatever those may be, too.
"My friends describe me as... my friends say that I am..." Your friends would say anything. Mine would too, and so would my mum. But it's not exactly objective, nor your own view of yourself, which is in the end what I'd like to ehar about.
and my current bug bear is:
"I will make you laugh." You will, once I remove the palm from my face - easier said than done.
But perhaps I should change it for:
"I'm bonkers!" "I'm crazy!" "I'm just meeeee!!!!!" Aaargh, bring back hanging!
Edited Thu 27 Aug 09, 12:15 PM by Ms_Tytania
| 27 Aug 09, 12:22 PM Topman1 UK(SW), 8 yrs   |
Yes, you are right but somewhat mean. People writing profiles and looking for a partner, are selling themselves. All they are doing is making a checklist of what they believe are attractive traits and applying these to themselves. A requirement of a sense of Humour and a life outside of BDSM appear often in many sub female personal ads. I accept that reading these points for the nth time can get irritating. As can these: 'Embrace my Dominant side' 'My journey' 'I don't bite unless…..' | ||
| 27 Aug 09, 1:06 PM Im_a_very_good_girl 4 yrs |
I've always understood "I enjoy the good things in life" to mean that "I wave my credit card around a lot" to buy expensive meals, city breaks, bijou hotels.
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| 27 Aug 09, 1:40 PM little_belle UK(E), 4 yrs  |
Well... I agree with the second half of that list. Anyone who describes themselves as 'crazy' deserves a bullet in the face. Anyone who reckons they defy adjectives and will only claim to be 'just me'...well duh! They must be really fuckin special! I dont get the tactile thing though. I've always seen it as a fair description. I'm tactile i.e I hug my family and friends a lot, I will hold hands while walking with family and friends as well as my partner, and while sitting on the sofa with my boyfriend we will be always entwined or touching each other. Not everyone does that sort of thing or to the same extent. Similar with the 'good food' some people are foodies, they like to cook and go to restaurants a lot, others are only occupied with quantity *cough* El_Presidente *cough* But, if I listed all the things that people write on their profiles that annoyed me it would be fairly long and not quite as restrained as yours. 'I'm just me' and 'I cannot be classified in a profile' would be at the top of the list. We took the town to town last night, we kissed like we invented it. | ||
| 27 Aug 09, 3:48 PM CookieMonster UK, 6 yrs |
Or "I am a high maintanance snob who cant distinguish substance from image".
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| 27 Aug 09, 5:45 PM beestinglips 4 yrs |
I do get the tactile thing. I'm very feely and have been out with people who aren't and can't get used to it. It's discouraging to have someone shrink back when you go to hug/ stroke/ hold hands/ grope/ furk about in their underwear. Of course, it could just be that I have a rancid personality and poor personal hygiene. (That's meant to be ironic. I'm fucking lovely and typing this as I shower for the second time today.) Backbite: To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you. | ||
| 27 Aug 09, 6:05 PM MarcusStrapp UK(CB), 7 yrs |
Nice one. I had this discussion with the OneNightStand soon after we got together. We met through a vanilla dating site and we were discussing the "euphemism" factor. "I'm very tactile" was top of the list.
The flip side of the coin is, that on a site like "Guardian Soulmates" everyone is too damned polite or too damned scared or thinks it is too damned inappropriate to list sex as a legitimate interest in finding a partner. (Not I of course but there has been a guardian soulmate who was a little fazed by my knuckledragging crassness and candidness So you can see why the morass of profiles fall to theses inane euphemisms, perhaps it's quaintly English, like the nudge nudge innuendo of "Carry On" comedy. Us English have had the hardest time growing up to be adults about sex don't you know! Anyway, for what it is worth the OneNightStand discovered that I AM incredibly tactile too, as well as being a rampant sex crazed pervert. I really do demand an inordinate amount of physical contact with my partner. not everyone's bag I know. The @Fetish_Photo_Album A free and private flickr group for IC members to share dirty pictures! | ||
| 27 Aug 09, 6:33 PM Ms_Tytania 7 yrs |
It;s not the stuff that these euphemisms stand for that I object to (I relate to much of it), but to the worn, cliché language used to describe it. If people mentioned all these otherwise legitimate preferences and useful information, in their own words, instead of resorting to borrowing unimaginative dross... Dross that make them sound like they haven't one single opinion of their own and absolutely no imagination... *Sigh!*
So yes, I expect my men to be wordsmiths too, on top of everything else. There is no stopping this woman's wide eyed naivety "People are inherently evil, but very, very funny" - Joe Orton. Edited 27 Aug 09, 6:48 PM by Ms_Tytania | ||
| 27 Aug 09, 9:54 PM votre_maitresse UK(BH), 5 yrs |
you need an angry burger!! | ||
| 28 Aug 09, 1:48 PM PrinceCaspian UK(SE), 6 yrs |
I don't think I have the tactile thing on my profile. However in my own words (still mine if others have used them before it's nothing to do with me) I am very tactile. I like to touch or be touched be it platonically intimatly or sexually I love feeling with my hand and recieving such ministrations myself. This extends to things as well btw... Especially rock faces. The best words to convey that quickly and simply (because I can really go on sometimes if not kept in check) are... I'm very tactile.
Kind of worth noting as well as many people aren't at all. Weird but true "Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious." Oscar Wilde | ||
| 28 Aug 09, 5:10 PM Ms_Tytania 7 yrs |
Fair enough. you are stating a fact, But profiles, imo, are not for stating dry facts with convenient shorthand and conventionalisms, but to give a glimpse of the individual's personality. If you just say that, I'd go "uh-huh", and go to the next profile. However, if you said this instead:
You'd have me intrigued with that little window to your personality. I would have instantly set you apart from the rest, the huge hordes of tactile people. Because, (and I'm shamelessly stealing a great turn of phrase from a friend's profile), it's not about "what" we have in common with others, but "how". It's not about being tactile, but how you express this quality, that will attract people to you (or not).
But that's just me. I said it earlier: I am very demanding!
"People are inherently evil, but very, very funny" - Joe Orton. Edited 28 Aug 09, 5:13 PM by Ms_Tytania |
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