Public Play - what's not okay? (47)

LOL, that's a fair point.

I did actually consider the wanky men angle. But in the dungeon, tied to a post and having the crap beaten out of him there definatley wasn't going to be any wanking going on

Pink stripey tigresses GIVE pink stripey bottoms

Surely that depends on who's clue they have, if both parties are enjoying it then there is no harm done to yourself or anyone, who are you to say they haven't got a clue? Play is no exact sience, there is no qualification in it, we do what feels right for us when we get chance to do it, maybe people think something similar when they watch you play?

Often that is because of the licensing laws in the local area, female genitalia are internal, therefore can't be on display, but mens, well thats more then obvious, if the place has an alcohol license that is a very big no no, that is often why swingers clubs have a BYOB policy.

As for types of play I wouldn't want to watch, well none really, you can always turn your head away the only time i've been really put off was when I was at a very small club and a couple were not only so loud they drowned out everyone else's play, they proceeded to spend 5-10 minutes on each piece of kit in the dungeon, going round the room as if it were a circuit class in a gym

"that artwork is rather dark" "well yes, I wasn't exactly expecting winnie the pooh!"

The club I tend to frequent has a pretty much anything goes policy and is very good about ensuring my first point. I find it tends to be more the individual events that have restrictions rather than the venue. Some allow nudity in both sexes, needles, cuttings, etc, etc. While others are more restrictive .. but then each event is aimed as slightly different "markets" from those that are aimed at peeps new to the scene to others that are designed more for the "hard core" players (God I hate that term lol)

As many have said if there is something that is not my cup of tea I will simply not watch. But to be honest that would probably only be scat play and in all the years I have been going to the club I have never yet seen that happen. Go figure lol

At the end of the day does it not come down to the joint responsibility of both the event and those going to ensure what may be seen is fully advertised and understood ? If an event is known to allow the likes of say needle and cutting play then can you really complain if you go along and see such thing ? Conversely if an event is advertised as having a no sex policy and you go because this appeals then by all means shout if you see something along those lines.

There are so many different levels of BDSM events these days that I am sure with a little investigation events and attendees should be able to match up quite happily.

"You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough." ~ George Moore

We haven't had anybody do needle play yet, but our next kinky workshop will be on the topic of medical play and will be conducted by Lady Raven, from MediKink. At least we're doing our bit to make sure that people have the opportunity to do things like that safely and well.

We've had fisting done pretty publicly and I don't really see any reason why other forms of fisting shouldn't be done either. It's not as if the other guests are prudes and hopefully they won't be shocked by it.

1. What are the rules of the event organisers?

2. If you are doing something that might upset others don't be so wrapped up in your own play to not be sensitive to others. For example, play somewhere in an area where those who want to can watch but those who don't want to can go do something else.

vMaster aka Mike Web Site: http://www.vmaster.me.uk/

For me, of course there are things I'd rather not see but I wouldn't list them here on principle! If I don't like the look of something, I move myself or my eyes elsewhere, nobody else has to try and do right by me, all they have to do is stick to the house rules. One thing I really don't want to see is others feeling they can't just get on and enjoy themselves within the house rules due to others opinion- my opinion on someone else's play is irrelevant.

Every club has its own house rules - those are the things which are allowed and not and I think it would be impossible for us to retain the particular atmosphere each of those varied clubs has if, instead of sticking to the house rules, we all worried about what the casual observer thinks. Not just because nobody would agree with each other, so the only way to please everyone would be to stay at home and not inflict ourselves on them. Which is why we have house rules, that's what we have to stick to.

It's impossible for you to play to other people's preferences.. your job surely is to play to you and your partner's preferences.

Me - as you'll maybe have seen having posted it before - I feel a bit upset at times if people can't be accepting of others around them, but I am not going to play to the observer, it's impossible anyway, I'm playing with my partners doing what we enjoy, my partners deserve it.

If people don't like things they see in a club, then they are going to the wrong clubs with the wrong boundaries for them.

De

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Edited 24 Aug 09, 9:12 AM by Degenerate

No, it isn't. And if it were I'd just move elsewhere. The point here is ANYTHING will be a bit too much for SOMEBODY. So what if it was too much for me? If it's within the house rules, it's ok. If people can't cope with that, they are in the wrong club.

I don't understand why you are asking this, and do hope you don;t allow other opinion to guide you, as you simply cannot win this one... surely your focus is your own partner/s? It's impossible to 'do right by the majority' that's why there are house rules, and we do right by the organisers instead. People choose which clubs to visit which gives them some control. The club I go to would not allow fisting anyway.

It's a play club, not a show. Shows are done on stages, for audiences enjoyment, people pay money, and they decide what show they like. Clubs are for you to have a good time. Worrying about what other people think is ok or not sounds like a recipe for an impossibly crap time, because whatever you do some people will find it horrible or disgusting and you cannot possibly please everyone. Maybe it's better just to recognise that everything we do may not appeal to someone, and unfortunately that's just something we have to get over and accept, not pander to.

Anyone there who thinks your role is to amuse them is making a mistake and may need to try theatre or television instead

De

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Edited 24 Aug 09, 9:41 AM by Degenerate

Bad dancing (poss humiliation scene, I dunno) in play only clubs - if you were out in West London on Saturday night you'll know what I mean. Awful, just awful.

Is breathplay considered generally acceptable in clubs?

___________________________________
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re 2 - none of us has control over how play spaces or rules are made except the organisers, so we can only look to them for guidance about what can be done where - if people have made a mistake about the kind of club they can handle they can - always - get away from it - the escape route is called the exit.

Anything we do could potntially upset others.. I do feel very strongly that people should check out the house rules of where they are going, and if they can't handle it, then stay home, or go elsewhere. The whole reason we have such clubs is WIITWD is most definitely not to everyone's taste, So we have excellent people, who organise places we can club together on the space and kit to have a good time, safely away from people who could be upset by it.

It's not a show, I am certainly there not for anyone else's gratification except that of me and mine.

If I wasn't wrapped up in my own play, I think I'd be moving away from what is safest, and I would be doing my partners a disservice. My partners deserve my full attention, regardless of the opinions of others - or rather, especially when others have an adverse opinion. plenty of people have struggles to even get the confidence to explore their interests initially, the last thing they need is a bunch of judgemental onlookers who expect to be entertained to their liking, disresepcting them and their interests. rather than playing to those with such opinions, I think my job is to protect my partners from them.

The only attention I give anything else is to make sure I am not whacking anyone else on the backswing - and even then I expect those moving around dungeons to be similarly mindful, so I consider this a shared job.

We never ever know what is really going on in someone else's scene. The only think I hope for those other people, is that they are doing what pleases them, and the only people who know the answer to that is those doing it.

De

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Edited 24 Aug 09, 9:44 AM by Degenerate