This post is on the Pro-Mistresses etc web board.
| Fri 14 Aug 09, 3:22 PM Stephen_London UK(NW), 3 yrs   |
. Sir Stephen Edited Tue 23 Nov 10, 2:02 PM by Stephen_London |
| 14 Aug 09, 3:28 PM AstronautMikeDexter UK(E), 2 yrs |
What's wrong with "I'm sorry but due to my current work load I'm not accepting new clients at the moment." --- Ha! |
| 14 Aug 09, 3:31 PM Jahc99 UK, 5 yrs |
3 sounds good to me! That's what I do if they want summit I don't want to do. Why poison your liver when I could eat it for you? |
| 14 Aug 09, 3:47 PM Lady_Anna_Bradford UK(BD), 5 yrs   |
I make it very clear that I have a particular style of play which cuts out a lot of clients. I then ensure that they have a similar approach to me before I accept them. Most clients are okay with this approach as they prefer that you are honest and are concerned that they aren't wasting their money, or both of your time. It's much better than PD who will grab money from anyone they can no matter what. A simple "I really feel that we aren't suited as our approach to FemDom/BDSM/play/whatever appears to be different, thus possibly incompatible" is okay. If I feel they would be better suited to another PD then I will recommend they go and read their site, but I am very particular who I will recommend, I am quite happy to recommend most of the regulars on this thread for example because over time I have either met them, or talked to them. There are others in the UK that I would never recommend. "If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness |
| 14 Aug 09, 4:40 PM MistressKeene 3 yrs £ |
Yes, I understand exactly where the OP is coming from. I have been doing a bit of thinking about all of this in my enforced break from PDing. I don't need to see more than about three subs per week nowadays and would like to get to a situation where the subs I am seeing match very well to what I like doing most. I am in the process of re writing my website to be extremely clear and explicit about what I am offering nowadays. I certainly will not be dropping any of my old subs/clients but going forward I will have to make sure I am very careful about what I accept. I would certainly have no problem in telling a prospective but unsuitable sub that I could not see them for any of the following reasons if as appropriate. * Sorry but as I have indicated on my website I don't engage in x, y or z and as those things are important to you in a session, I can't see you. (Maybe follow up with recommendation of I know of someone suitable in the area) or * Currently I am not taking on any new subs and so would recommend you try a different Domme. That covers all that I think is required as you are either saying no because they are not compatible in terms of activities or no because you are busy with existing subs. They shouldn't argue with those things and but if they did, I would reiterate my position politely. I would find it hard to just ignore enquiries s I hate being rude and couldn't pretend my fees were different as mine are published on my site. I think polite honesty is the answer I would recommend as if nothing else, you haven't been pushed into acting in a way you feel uncomfortable with. |
| 14 Aug 09, 5:38 PM Bubbles_2 UK(E), 6 yrs |
What's wrong with 'I'm sorry I don't have any availability at the moment'? Club Subversion Crossing the Rubicon FleursduMal bobette's Facebook Beginners Guide to BDSM |
| 14 Aug 09, 7:45 PM MistressRouge UK(B), 6 yrs £ |
4) for me, and no I dont feel guilty  " The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. Resist it
and your soul grows sick with longing, for the things it has forbidden
itself"
Oscar Wilde |
| 14 Aug 09, 8:15 PM roymondo UK(LN), 4 yrs  |
I like Lady Anne's approach but as you actually want to help new comers, and you only do 2 sessions per week, unless there is a torrent of emails then you might answer each sympathetically. "I am a 66 year old tyro that thinks he likes pain" Sorry, while I like . . . I am rather busy at the moment and cannot offer any appointments for . . . Then if you can network and suggest an alternative Dom then honour would be satisfied and they would have the confidence of a recommendation from someone that they had already vetted. See what I mean? Personnally, my Domme suddenly stopped. Had she had a network she coul dhave given us both an introduction. |
| 15 Aug 09, 1:28 AM Mistress_Susannah UK(SE), 7 yrs £ |
To a potential client who is obviously not a fuckwit (excuse me) - then I'd prefer to recommend them to someone safe and sane who I know would provide them with a wonderful session than ignore them and let them chance it. If I can't help them, I'd rather send them to friends or Dommes that I know good things about. I already do say on my site that I'm selective about who I see - potential clients have to do a certain amount of leg work to see me - I don't see why stating that on your site is a bad thing..... but maybe say that you can recommend "someone who does" if you find that you're incompatible.
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| 18 Aug 09, 8:55 PM KinkyKumbrian UK(CA), 3 yrs |
One should always ask the domme sensible questions and also check to see what services she offers- a corpun specialist might only be into that aspect of the scene, for example, and would likely turn down requests for other types of play. Certainly explaining yourself, how you came to be interested in the scene, and asking the domme about her services in a polite way is far better than sending an e mail on the lines of " I am a sub and desperate for it, you hard looking bitch", which will invite a hostile response, or on a message board for one domme I saw, some fool asked if there were any cheaper or better dommes in the area.
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| 18 Aug 09, 10:40 PM Tara_Red UK(B), 5 yrs £ |
I try and refer to others for the ones I don't want, luckily I'm always fairly busy so I can also use the excuse that I'm fully booked and try so and so but I am very up front about not doing hard caning, sexual services and videoing and will say sorry I don't but try her etc. With us subs even if I wanted to see more clients in a week my bottom would be too sore and clients accept that the session would not be the best, you could also use the excuse that too many sessions would leave you jaded/exhausted and not at your very best and surely they'd be better waiting or trying someone else. If I really don't like the sound of someone I'll say sorry I'm fully booked for ages and you don't sound like someone I'd gel with and make excuses for not wanting to see them and also not recommend someone else if they sound very weird! Pro submissive & switch with great dungeon & LOTS of toys! |
