A lesson learnt - from both sides (3)

Posted by LilLass on Thu 13 Aug 09, 9:46 PM to LilLass's blog.

My life has been in turmoil for the last two days.

Someone I saw as a potential partner saw me as a fake and too good to be true.

Long story short; he threatened to make private correspondence public on IC if I failed to meet his demands (yes, it was blackmail and he has admitted that). So I met him today and expressed my feelings very openly in a public place in front of strangers. It wasn't nice and I hope never to do it again.

He was good enough to apologise, but it has left me jaded.

I have decided enough is enough. Fate is a funny thing. It brings those who are lucky enough to find each other together. For me, it has brought nothing but frustration (and over the last couple of days genuine and deep felt unhappiness). So I have decided to stop actively looking. I will not remove my profile (there is a "cut off nose to spite face" feel to that), but I will stop trying to force the hand of fate.

If he's out there I guess he'll find me. Eventually.

Edited Thu 13 Aug 09, 9:48 PM by LilLass

Replies

13 Aug 09, 10:30 PM
Kali_Ma
UK(B), 5 yrs

I think that's a great approach. Sometimes we have to spend quality time 'on' ourselves, a little self care (not the dirty kind!!!) and when your attention is turned away - Mr/Ms Right sneaks up on you. So concentrate on what makes you feel good, valued, content and let She Who Knows Best do her thing when you're not looking.

as with regard to Mr A Hole - karma's a bitch!

Chin up girl!

PGK x

'My Brothers, My Sisters, My Blood...'
'The best revenge is to live well...'
Impulsion @ Ceasers...One of THE best fet club nights in the Midlands!

14 Aug 09, 8:58 AM
Backdooruk
UK(BA), 12 yrs

LilLass wrote:
Long story short; he threatened to make private correspondence public on IC if I failed to meet his demands (yes, it was blackmail and he has admitted that).

If you have written proof of this I'd report him to the police, or at least to ADMIN on IC and get him chucked off of here. You wouldn't let him get away with it is he threatened to hit you would you, and both forms of coercion are equally illegal and equally unacceptable as part of BDSM dating.

Actually what you should do is exactly what he threatened to do to you: Pass around his name and emails so other people can avoid him,

- Chris

This is my voice, my weapon of choice

Edited 14 Aug 09, 9:31 AM by Backdooruk

14 Aug 09, 10:21 AM
LilLass
UK, 3 yrs

Backdooruk wrote:
If you have written proof of this I'd report him to the police, or at least to ADMIN on IC and get him chucked off of here.

Yes, I have written proof.

Backdooruk wrote:
Actually what you should do is exactly what he threatened to do to you: Pass around his name and emails so other people can avoid him,

- Chris

Two wrongs don't necessarily make a right. He's been made very aware of how wrong his behaviour is (not just by me, but other friends who met him last night at a munch) and I hope he will learn never to treat anyone in the way he has treated me ever again.