This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| Thu 6 Aug 09, 8:28 PM rocco_43 UK(RM), 2 yrs  |
I have a fetish for handcuffs but I have been told that these are quite vanilla. I can see why people say that, obviously leather cuffs are more comfortable and while the feel of leather is great I still enjoy the cold hard steel on my flesh. Who wants comfort anyway? I actually saw handcuffs on a stall at LAM in July, so they must have some place in the BDSM world. I would appreciate your views, thankyou Debbie | |||
| 6 Aug 09, 8:37 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 9 yrs |
Whoever says they are 'quite vanilla' is talking bollocks. Anything kinky is, by definition, NOT vanilla. Goodness, some people are idiots. You enjoy your handcuffs and ignore the half wits. 24/7 subs and slaves can and do live similar lives, it is only the concept of 'ownership' which separates them. | |||
| 6 Aug 09, 8:44 PM redkestrel 2 yrs |
lol omg! who said sex was meant to be comfortable!? I luv being bound in anyway and steel cuffs from the fridge certainly work wonders- can't get that shock with leather! :D | |||
| 6 Aug 09, 8:46 PM GirlAfraid UK, 3 yrs |
What a truly odd thing for someone to say. I love handcuffs, all that cold biting metal. Leather cuffs are all well and good but they can't bring you to your knees in quite the same eye-watering fashion.
"Could I stand by and watch my wife be raped by a nazi, I asked myself, no I couldn't." "But you're not married?" "No, but I have a very vivid imagination." | |||
| 6 Aug 09, 8:47 PM El_Presidente UK(G), 4 yrs     |
Quite! Was this person just trying to be "more 'scene' than thou", by any chance?
It's like trying to herd lolcats! | |||
| 6 Aug 09, 8:49 PM LittleEl UK, 9 yrs |
Hmm - my most recent relationship was 99% vanilla. I had a hankering for some handcuffs during sex but I think the words he used to describe them included "freakish", "deviant" and "nasty". So they're too vanilla for some, and too extreme for others. Much like almost every kink or fetish out there. You're a terrific person. You're my favourite person. But every once in a while, you can be a real cunt. | |||
| 6 Aug 09, 8:50 PM KinkyRoly UK(OX), 3 yrs |
Rocco - be careful who you listen to. Some people talk absolute nonsense. Anybody who says that one form of restraint is more vanilla than another is a tosser. If you're interested in restraint, then anything that restrains somebody is a valid part of BDSM. Different materials and devices all have strengths and weaknesses, but they are still important aspects of BDSM. | |||
| 6 Aug 09, 8:51 PM Pheonix_Ian 3 yrs |
I'm not disagreeing with Ms Valentine or anyone else's opinions but I can see where these friends of yours are coming from. With Ann Summers selling handcuffs to spice up sex life it does seem normal. However there's a difference between those who enjoy them for show and use the cuffs which the sub can escape from which would be more vanilla in my personal opinion compared to a set that although still safe (considering I've tried a set on myself) but you give up full control of your release to the dom/me (cue innuendoes) cold steel has no give so no way of slipping them off.
Edited 6 Aug 09, 8:52 PM by Pheonix_Ian | |||
| 6 Aug 09, 8:55 PM fussyone 9 yrs |
I like using handcuffs on other people (i of course like to be comfortable)..the benefits of them are they are quicker which means you can swiftly get that person on their knees and in a submissive state rather than fucking about with rope, etc. You can also do police role play with them rather well and they are very secure...no fucker is getting out of them. However you always have to remember where you have put the key, etc. | |||
| 6 Aug 09, 8:57 PM mr_guy UK, 4 yrs |
I suppose pink fluffy handcuffs could be seen to be fairly 'tame' or 'vanilla' (although they may even seem fairly common in many vanilla relationships these days) but I agree with the majority that any form of restraint used within a BDSM context is kinky and therefore not vanilla. If your fetish was pink fluffy handcuffs then fair enough - that makes them kinky too... | |||
| 6 Aug 09, 8:59 PM VincoObsequium UK, 6 yrs |
Ann Summers sell PVC outfits, whips, dildos and all sorts, shoudl these now be classed as vanilla? Cuffs are a recognised form of restraint, they may for some be the avenue by which they enter the BDSM world but to call them vanilla based on the fact Ann Summers sell them would IMO miss the point entirely. Unless i have missed the point of course.
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