Posted by filthyhighlander on Mon 20 Jul 09, 9:35 PM to filthyhighlander's blog.
Master has told me to write about how I managed to fail the task he set and how I feel about it.
1 month ago Master set me the task of finding a female sub to join me in one of his punishment sessions. Consequence of failing was that I may or may not see Master again. A task set by a Master or Mistress regardless of how easy or difficult should not be failed in my eyes and I managed it big time. I thought I would have a few to pick from but realise how wrong I was. Managed 1 possible, couple of interests and loads of no responses.
It's easy enough to write how I failed I'm fucking useless and obviously didn't work hard enough. All those nights, missing dinners to sit and read profiles and sending out emails so that Master knew I was taking his task seriously and showing that I didn't want to fail was obviously not enough. Could I have been more persuasive or spent more time looking when I got home from work maybe they just didn't like the look of me. I don't know. Knowing what could possibly happen if I failed was an incentive in itself to complete the task. No Master, no training, no punishment that was not the outcome I wanted. It was a fair enough task to ask and can't believe I managed to fail it.
How I feel about failing well I'm so angry with myself for failing and for failing Master in what should have been such an easy task. I hate failing like most people and don't know the last time I felt this miserable, emotional, a total failure and useless. I am very good at being hard on myself and punishing myself mentally but all I really want is to be punished by Master and the thought of that not happening any more I just really don't want to think about it. Putting this down in writing is just making me feel even worse about how I managed to fail him when he has been so good and patient in training me.
I am now back to stressing over what Master's decision will be. Even though everything else he has asked me to do I have done. Will he think the slut is worth any more of his time and effort in training me I can't blame him for not being arsed if this is what respect I show him by failing.
| 20 Jul 09, 10:32 PM bohnanza UK(FK), 12 yrs   |
How many other people on here have a bit on their profile which says "We want a woman to join us"? and how many of them do you think have ever managed it? Single women don't link up with couples because they get a nice memo, they do it because they like both the people. How much time have you both spent socialising with people letting them see how you two interact and what sort of personalities you have? Until you do, expect more failure. Science, the only religion that works even if you don't believe in it. | |
| 20 Jul 09, 10:34 PM Betony UK, 7 yrs |
I wonder how much experience your Master has of finding another sub inside of a month to play with an unknown couple.
| |
| 20 Jul 09, 11:00 PM Rhoobarb UK(FK), 12 yrs |
I wouldn't respond well to a memo asking me to play with another couple. I respond better to people I know in real life. I used to do the same as you and send off emails to likely looking women and never ever got a success. You've been trying to do it within a very short time so you were set up for failure right from the start. Whether he set you up or you did it to yourself is not for me to judge. The times we have found a 'third' to join us, she has been the one to contact us, she has been the one to make known her desire to play with us. And on the few occasions when I have played with a couple it is I who have made the approach, not them, and it was to people I already knew in real life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
| 20 Jul 09, 11:46 PM skadii UK(W), 5 yrs |
Hang on a minute, how is it remotely fair for your Master to set a task which is wholly dependent on the whim of a third party? Of course, he might not have meant it to be fair, but still - other women's sexual desire is not something you have any control over. Unless you were meant to go out with a bottle of rohypnol or something (joke!) It's not your failure; it's their cynicism. I can say, hand on heart, that even if I did do boys, if someone approached me via memo and said she'd been set a task to find a sub female to join in with them, my first reaction would undoubtedly be to assume that this is a 'nilla couple looking for an "open minded" (trans: will shag anything) woman for a threesome. | |
| 21 Jul 09, 3:08 AM Mistress_Whip UK, 2 yrs £ |
If he is going to let you go because you failed to get another sub for him then he isn't worth your effort in the first place. You both have to get along and all three of you have to have a connection. That's not going to happen via a memo and not in a month. You should both be looking if it's what you want and both chat to another person. To me it looks like he set you up to fail in the first place, something he shouldn't have done.
| |
| 21 Jul 09, 11:33 AM angel_in_the_north UK(IV), 7 yrs |
Any woman who wants equality with a man ... Lacks ambition ! | |
| 21 Jul 09, 11:43 AM Betony UK, 7 yrs |
Seconded | |
| 21 Jul 09, 1:06 PM Twinkletoes 5 yrs |
The Internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn't understand, the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had. ~Eric Schmidt | |
| 21 Jul 09, 2:30 PM Jezzebelle UK, 10 yrs |
What a ridi culous expectation to place on someone, I know of some who have searched for years to find a third. If he knows anything about BDSM or human behaviour then he set you up to fail. http://www.flickr.com/photos/jezzebelle/ |
