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| alexandraa |
Power and passion, fire and fury. Seem rare commodities. Does it build over time? But then wouldn't you think it would be there from the start if the buzz and chemistry are right? Over time it becomes embedded and constantly refreshed by a deeper desire and love. So there's just more and more passion and desire and fulfilment. Or do I live in a dream world of expectations? I wonder am I different to the norm. Is it that I just want too much? That emotionally, passionately and physically I expect too much?
After a dearth and a desert of a long term marriage, followed by a failed abusive relationship I stumbled into the world of BDSM. Something I had thought about and longed for, for a very long time. I found my fire and fury awakened by a man that touched my desires, my mind and my heart.
A man that blew me away, took everything I had to give and gave me fire, fury and passion. Filled my life with everything I had longed for. Took me, shook me and awoke me to who I am.
I think I am too much now.
I think I have too much self confidence, self esteem, sexual confidence. Just too much. I think Dominants look at me and think ho humm what is there to care for and protect in this assured self confident woman.
I think that's what confuses me. Makes me feel dominant myself.
People in general are easy creatures to control. Easy to play and dominate. To manipulate.
Where is the fire? Where is the passion? Where is the love of life? The thrill of being? The excitement of daring to be what you want? To behave how you choose? Climb out of your boxes.
I'm filled with it. Full of fire. I scream with it. Rage with seething passion. I rein it in because I see how it frightens. I put myself back in my box because it seems that makes people more comfortable around me.
Yes I hurt. Yes I ache. Do I want space? Fuck no. I want fire and fury. Power and passion. Risk and adventure.
Slippers and pipe can wait for another 30 years. I have things to do. What is it you're scared of?
Edited Thu 22 Jul 04, 8:23 PM by alexandraa
