 |
| alexandraa |
Well a funny thing happened yesterday that got me to thinking about a lot of things and helped me so so very much to see things from another persepective. I had to go out to a negotiation session yesterday afternoon and a colleague asked if they could tag along to see me in action and hopefully learn from the experience. No problem at all its someone I like and respect and was happy for her to join me. Meeting went really well but then I'm a reasonable sort... mostly.. Afterwards she suggested we stop for a glass of wine and we got to talking.
Well as you can imagine one glass led to another. We had a great time and bonded so immediately it was amazing. It was like she could see into my soul. I told her about my lifestyle (I know I know OMG this is someone from work!!!) and she is the first vanilla I've told that hasn't looked at me and said, "You submissive??" Then fallen about laughing. In fact she said oh yes I was with a Master for a while. Ha!!! Jaw and floor moment. I've often sat at work thinking well 10% of population are into BDSM that means about 30 people at work, who are they???
We talked about all sorts. Was lovely and I hope we can be friends. Ahhhh but she said the nicest thing, she guessed my age as early 30s bless. What a darling. Got to say we attracted a fair amount of male attention in the pub, she has raven black hair and pure white skin with stunning eyes, very mystic looking. Problem is we both agreed - dont scare the vanillas.. Put the vanillas down, take one step back...
She said a lot of very very interesting things to me and that combined with the recent break up of a couple I know and the incredibly bad behaviour one part is demonstrating, made me think lots lots more about everything that's happened to Colbeh and I in the past couple of months. Its given me a great deal more understanding, objectivity and a huge sense of peace. In fact I'm feeling fabulous. Happy, content, positive and at one with myself.
That said I do actually intend to beat the shit out of a couple of subs at a BBQ I'm going to tonight heheh but that's not anything new for me at one of those parties.
What I've gained is a complete understanding and acceptance of why Colbeh cant have any contact with me right now. I hope when he has settled and confirmed to himself what he wants, when he has found the place he knows for sure he needs to be, that he will come back and be friends with me again. He's a special man and I will always want to be friends with him. Always, no matter what choices he makes.
Edited Sat 19 Jun 04, 11:47 AM by alexandraa
