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| Goldilocks |
08.04.84 - 05.07.08
A year ago today, we lost a beloved member of our family.
This weekend, we remembered his legendary life together. We had a large picnic around his honorary bench at Bath university on the afternoon of Saturday 4th and then spent the evening drinking and celebrating his life in the bar his sister once worked at.
Around 11pm, my dad, sister and I drove to Wales to visit his burial place around the time he died. We arrived shortly before 1am (partly because we got lost although luckily it meant we arrived at the same time as the others) which was close to the time.
Buried in an unmarked grave in a natural burial site, a group of nine of us solemnly stood and sat around the spot we believed his physical body lay. A bunch of flowers, the pant of their family dog (who would not shut up and almost made me laugh several times due to his animal behaviour almost spoiling the silence) and two simple candles burning. Their flames flickered in the gentle winds but never blew out.
My aunt's sorrow and grief washed over me at that point but we were all united by our shared feelings. It was very sweet, solemn, peaceful and meaningful. It's a memory I will live with forever combined with all my other memories of him. I deliberately pulled a few of my hairs out and left them there. I wanted a part of me there with him and had nothing else to leave behind. It was symbolic for me.
Today, I went with my Granny to Wales again to my aunt and uncle's home. Throughout the day different friends of my cousin came and went. We ate lovely food, drank, shared memories, talked about other things and watched the Wimbledon final. I also managed to watch Madagascar 2 with another pair of cousins of mine and it was very amusing. Then I went back to Bath to return back home tonight.
I've done a lot within the last 48 hours and can't really believe I've managed to fit it all in. It's been rather emotionally draining but so beneficial and wonderful.
I really wish he was still around and it's unfair he's gone but we've got our memories and he'll always live on in them.
And today I saw something my aunt's been working on for a while. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen; a patchwork quilt created using all of his shirts. It's not quite finished but I can see all the work and love that's his mother has put into it. It's one of the sweetest and saddest things I've ever seen. A bittersweet reminder of a wonderful young man; her son, my cousin and a legend to those who knew him.
To my cousin, ELRK, a living legend to those who knew him who was lost to us all a year ago today.
| 6 Jul 09, 4:17 PM The_Big_Bear UK(DL), 5 yrs  |
Bless you for sharing this. I hope it helped you in some way to write it, though it must have brought back some pain too. What a lovely ceremony (OK, apart from the dog! LOL ) your family held. It's never easy to lose a loved one. Clearly though, you have a family strong enough to support each other through the worst. And, as time goes on, you'll look back more and more at your cousin's life, and less at his death. The loss won't go away, but in time it will become more bearable. Sympathy to you and your family. |
| 6 Jul 09, 8:07 PM Mister_Aun UK(EC), 6 yrs |
*Hugs* |
| 5 Jul 11, 12:28 PM Goldilocks UK(SE), 5 yrs |
Three years toda we lost you ELRK. The pain, sorrow and mourning are as strong as ever. We will celebrate your too-short life this Saturday. I love you and miss you x Goldie |
