Posted by dotterel on Sat 4 Jul 09, 10:47 PM to dotterel's blog.
I have never liked the word 'sissy'. In my mind I associate it with early childhood memories of the Beano and Walter the Softie, proto-nerd and perpetual victim of Dennis the Menace. Bullying is never cool, and even when I was young I demonstrated an overly politically correct disdain for the antics of the anti-hero Dennis.
However, I seem to be stuck the 'S' word to describe the part of me which undeniably wants to be soft, vulnerable, gentle, and delicate - a fragile flower to be toyed with, teased, and humbled. These traits express themselves in a desire to have my naked body wrapped up in feminine underwear, maybe stockings and suspenders too. And this brings up a curious paradox, as I find the female form dressed in fine lingerie like this an enormously powerful image. I will want to kneel before, submit to, and worship a woman who is dressed in this manner, and yet I dress in a similar style as an expression of my own submissiveness… Go figure. Perhaps I am trying to emulate that which I can never attain? I do like the idea of being called a 'good girl' or 'bitch'.
But I am definitely not transgender. I have no ambition to attain womanhood, and I am very happy being male. I love the gifts in my crotch which my Y chromosomes have given me - they all work and they give me the most wonderful sensations! I am just very content to surrender to female dominance, and for me this involves the rejection of archetypal male / macho values.
I like things to be logical, and so bras are not for me. Men don't have breasts, and so wearing a bra would just make no sense, regardless of how pretty it was. And I probably differ from many men who cross-dress in that I have never liked make-up on anyone of any sex, and I don't want to go down that road. Enough of barriers, though.
In summary then I guess I'm a strange mix of contradictions and idiosyncrasies. Like most people here. Like most people, period.
