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After Scene Care (part 2) (28)

This post is on the SM/Bondage/Fetish web board.

4 Jul 09, 6:56 PM
FairyGirl
UK(YO), 2 yrs

Avralivia wrote:
Having discussed this my partner I would like to clarify my position. It was pointed out that he, and I both do provide aftercare, and that it is simply a matter of semantics, and wording that was the problem on the last topic.

We are both caring people, and always make sure anyone we have played with is ok, during and after a session.

I do think the main problem is people perceiving "aftercare" as fluffy blankets, cocoa and being hand fed thorntons choccies.

Agreed

Nothing saves anyone's life Sir. It just postpones their death.
All it takes for bad English to prevail is for literate people to do nothing.

4 Jul 09, 7:16 PM
BigOldHector
UK(DE), 10 yrs

Jahc99 wrote:

So, some like to be left to their own devices, some like to keep in contact. Big deal. Each to, etc.

Which is pretty much what the post in question implied.

I AM THE GOD OF HELL-FIRE!.....but its my lunch break right now

4 Jul 09, 7:32 PM
Jahc99
UK, 5 yrs

Plinth_For_Her_Feet wrote:

Jahc99 wrote:

So, some like to be left to their own devices, some like to keep in contact. Big deal. Each to, etc.

Which is pretty much what the post in question implied.

We read it differently then, but no matter, these things happen. Anyway, it's no spunk off my tits either way, this was tedious enough after one thread.

Why poison your liver when I could eat it for you?
The antidote to whinge threads...?

4 Jul 09, 8:32 PM
bondagekitten
UK(G), 6 yrs

I don't tend to think in terms of after care, just caring in general.

Maybe it's the switch in me seeing things from both sides, I always ask how someone is after a scene if I'm top and only bottom with someone who would ask how I am after but then I only play with people who I keep in contact with anyway.

Most of the time I'm fine and just need to get myself a drink at most but there have been a few occasions when I've not been right and needed the extra care. In one case I had to safeword during a harmless rope session with a blind fold because I had a flashback to something completely unrelated, I didn't need more than a calm voice, being held gently for a while then given space but with an open door should I need anything else.

I don't see what the problem is in helping a sub or bottom get back to level even if it does need a blanket to warm them back up or chocolate or whatever to help get their blood sugar up or as some people have mentioned to help headaches. The least you can do is ask the person if they are ok, if they are then fine, leave them to themselves.

http://www.bondagekittens.co.uk

5 Jul 09, 9:07 AM
chartreuse
UK(BA), 6 yrs

I don't play "hard" so rarely is there any need for aftercare but... I often require a nice cuppa, which the sub is allowed to make for me, before getting on with their work.

There have been a few times where a session has rendered a sub totally non-compus mentis and unable to move, that is usually due to prolonged sessions, an overload on their senses and/or the presence of endorphins - on those occasions I make sure they are comfortable and then watch them, as they gradually return to their normal state and are able to get on with their work.

I care about a sub all the way through a session (that's why I monitor their reactions), I still care about them after one... but, I'm far more likely to laugh with them about the state they got in than to pander to them, a sub is there to serve me/pleasure me... "aftercare" works both ways; the sub should also care about the dominant, if they don't what sort of person does that make them?

"Truth is stranger than fiction."
Q. What are the components of a good dynamic? A. The mutual desire to share ourselves with each other.

Edited 5 Jul 09, 9:32 AM by chartreuse

9 Jul 09, 7:11 PM
Protocol
4 yrs

Jahc99 wrote:

Protocolicious wrote:

Jahc99 wrote:
Personally, I regard consideration for the mental and physical wellbeing of my playmates (be they dom/me, sub, switch or whatever) after a session as every bit as much a part of my responsibility as a kinkster as I do their wellbeing during the session.

And obviously anyone who doesn't immediately put a blanket around a subbie and feed them chocolate as soon as a scene is ended MUST be some kind of sociopath? You need to stop seeing things in black and white.

And you need to realise who you are talking to, and maybe even have some vague idea what you are talking about. One thing I do not do is see these things in black and white.

Realise who I'm talking to? Why, does your personality imply something that your words don't? My perception of you is based on your post which stated that those who don't take part in aftercare are people who have not the slightest bit of concern for the "mental and physical wellbeing of (their) playmates". It's nonsense.

The answer is simple: there are some people who need extended aftercare, some who need minor aftercare, and some who don't need any kind of aftercare. There's nothing superior about parading your 'caring'; sometimes it's downright inappropriate.

Jahc99 wrote:
Your post has nothing to do with the reality around me, my domme, my subs or anywhere else. Developing the ability to read and actually understand the written word might help you on your way too.

Pot, kettle. Let's see if you've understood enough of this post to fill in the rest.

29 Jul 09, 9:55 AM
Canedman
UK(TR), 3 yrs

Personally,I very rarely need or get any aftercare after a session,and often it seems appropriate just to be told dismissively to dress and leave.

On occasions a well caned bottom has required some treatment,and this can be made part of a scene.Usually a hug,a kiss and a sincere "Thank you Mistress" is the way it ends.

Thank you Mistress.

29 Jul 09, 11:51 AM
Jahc99
UK, 5 yrs

Protocolicious wrote:

...And obviously anyone who doesn't immediately put a blanket around a subbie and feed them chocolate as soon as a scene is ended MUST be some kind of sociopath?

Is irrelevent, has nothing whatsoever to do with what I and the others were discussing.

So don't try to put words in my mouth, don't misrepresent what others actually say, and don't expect me to waste time replying to you again. Attempting to start arguements by rudeness and attacking things another did not even say is a very amateur trolling technique, if you can't do better than that, don't bother.

Why poison your liver when I could eat it for you?
The antidote to whinge threads...?

Edited 29 Jul 09, 12:50 PM by Jahc99