Events without male dominants (95)

Uhm hovering over answering this as I don't ID as female any more. I don't see why it should affect female dominance and when I identified as female I did not think so either. I guess people have their own reasons for liking gendered spaces, male dom only things exist too (I think - isn't Gor male dom only?).

Personally, (and not just because of my personal gender identity) I am happiest in spaces which are inclusive. I just like being around other BDSM people. I do support and am involved sometimes in SMDykes, but feel no personal need to be in a gendered space.

Nice thread topic. I am typing before reading the responses, so it will be interesting to see what other's thoughts on this are.

De

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I think you've probably hit the nail on the head there. There does seem to be a culturally overarching idea of "what is femdom" which is (in my mind) probably much narrower than the broad variety of styles and approaches taken by female/feminine/woman dominants overall. There are classic domme archetypes which are played with and around, there are roles and protocols that people associate with that idea.

(There are of course also a number of male authority archetypes that get played with separately, although given the impact of the fantasies of male submissives on bdsm culture, it's not surprising that there's possibly a bit more of a focus on certain aspects of femdom stuff as regards commercial events).

moo

I think gender is fascinating and fabulous.. and it is great to play with gender and use gender stereotyping in BDSM - I think the only time gender is a pain in the ass is where we use it to limit ourselves or possibilities and creative flow.

I guess this is the reason I prefer non gendered spaces, I like to draw inspiration from all of those places. but then, like you, I am a queer fucker so how relevant to the rest of the planet my view is, is debatable

Hurrah for choice and gender and boo hiss to limitations.

De

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Edited 4 Jul 09, 2:43 PM by Degenerate

Personally I like having male Doms about but have to agree with my friend Miss Valentine. I know of some male subs that find the presence of a male Dom intimidating. Even at a well known club I've had it said to me 'He looks down at me, or doesn't bother talking to me cos I'm a male sub'. I tried to explain it could either be that the Dom in question is just an uber prat or that his (the subs) own self worth made him believe it.

Either way it means he isn't comfortable interacting with some male Doms. Forced play with a Dom comes to mind, but then I'm not a cruel lady.

Nice to find a post I want to read all the way though.

DoN't WaStE YoUR TiME On A MaN WhO Isn't WiLLiNG tO WasTe ThEiR tImE On You...

Edited 4 Jul 09, 2:50 PM by Lady_Alys

Having said that there are many occasions when the company of dominant men is very conducive to conviviality.

At the end of the day however to be amongst good people is the surest way of enjoying oneself.It just seems more of them seem to be female.

I agree wholeehartedly Lady Kayleigh that we are far to reticent about being publicly proud of our sexualities when compared to Deutchland.

Then again I know one great lad who will without batting an eyelid at the top of his voice on a crowded train regale you with every stroke and kick he has received from a mistress.He's irrepressable thank goodness.But at the time you don't always think so.

I find physical violence towards a woman upsetting. To me it evokes the worst form of bullying (with the possible exception of an adult hitting a child).

I appreciate you and others would say it is what you require, but I can't help my own feelings.

There are also two kinds of sex/gendered spaces: ones that restrict people's access (or roles) according to sex/gender; and ones that try to create a particular sex/gendered atmosphere.

So a BDSM-friendly wood with overtones of an army base or prison camp has a masculine feel, but a harem or boudoir environment with soft furnishings etc has a feminine feel. But neither necessarily excludes people who are masculine or feminine (eg captured lovely in the first one, or a lord and master of the house in the second) And that's leaving aside the point that masculine vs feminine elements aren't tied to being a man or woman (think "G.I. Jane" - Demi Moore's character doesn't stop being female by adopting masculine traits.)

Regards,

Tanos

www.tanos.org.uk
www.bridgewood.org.uk
www.twitter.com/ukTanos

Edited 6 Jul 09, 12:35 PM by Tanos

www.ksg-supplies.co.uk - making fun affordable
Don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my shoes, and I shan't judge you!

im willing to give somewhere like pedestal a look at some point to see what that's like, hopefully a lot different.

the only advice id give to anyone going to an event like that would be go with someone you know you can trust and if it gets a bit much to you they will take you home.

i can't think of anything to say here
so let pretend this says something really intelligent

ah yes -me and my sloppy language. I meant spaces which don't limit access by attendees gender, not non gendered (I think you guessed that).

Yeah I agree with you these are great examples of the good gender stuff,the kind I can appreciate at least. I love the ironies of gender too,so the thought of being a tough lady army officer in the masculine environment gives me a buzz.. though i am more likely to be seen playing games with gender, and being the slip of a girl waiting in the dark to bring down the tough army officer when he slips to the edge of the camp for a piss is more my style.

*Purrs*

Better shut up now, cos I could write reams about gender related concepts which I find erotic.

De

PS didn't mean to imply you were queer by the way - that bit was aimed at foibey (I don't know how you ID in this regard, you certainly have a very thoughtful sense of gender concepts).

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Edited 6 Jul 09, 7:01 PM by Degenerate