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| alexandraa |
Mad time at work at the moment but its all starting to come together. I am currently reorganising everyone on the second floor of our office so I can sit where I WANT. Bizarrely no-one is arguing just going “oh OK andra”. This power thing could go to my head. Is the world full of submissives or do I exude some "do as you're told or else" attitude that I'm not aware of? Perhaps I should try it on M.... ah well maybe not. Yes M, I can feel THE LOOK from here - sorry….gulp. I think when I'm very very busy, on a roll, I just drag everyone along with my energy. Well whatever the case it's working and I'm getting my own way which is only right and proper…. No M of course it isn't, Your way is the only way….
Had a funny conversation (well not so funny) when M rang me in the middle of my office domination coup. I gave him my new number and then double checked to make sure he knew the code correctly…. welllllll, he's only lived here ummmmm a lot lot longer than I lol. Cant help it was stuck in “everyone around me needs nannying and I must watch them closely else they'll fuck up” rut. So all in all I totally stressed myself out, humiliated myself in front of M, who gracefully forgave me after I begged and grovelled, and had a face red enough to heat a hospital, BUT got my prime position desk, heheheh. The pressure of work in my new job will be such that I need to learn seriously to delegate and trust others to cope without me breathing down their necks. Some people can be trusted and I don't have to stand over them, apparently, are you sure about that?? Of course the thing I love best of all is M's control of me. They'd never believe it of me, to see me grovelling at M's feet and I'm sure half the blokes in the office think I'm a Dominatrix, probably get hard over thoughts of me bossing them in the bedroom sports department.
Fabulous to dump all of that and dissolve into M's grovelling creature. Give up all control and just be his, to do as he wishes, to be used as he wishes. Lovely lovely lovely. Funny that I'm a power crazed maniac at work but in truth submissive and that M is an extremely powerful man in his work but Dominant. I find my release and happiness in giving up my power and he finds it in having total power. I suppose in everyday life with colleagues, family and friends there is always a compromise of power, nothing absolute. Whereas within our relationship there is no negotiation, no concession, just a total understanding that that is the way it is.
Tell you what though after a day like that I neeeeddddd such a beating. Fabulous having the stress worked from my body by M wielding his weapons. Fabulous to feel my submission demanded in all ways, every inch of me, every part of me laid bare to his control and his pleasure.
Edited Tue 30 Mar 04, 8:36 PM by alexandraa
