There is such a thing as a dom! (33)

You think the common usage of the word means someone who is *currently* the dominant partner in a BDSM relationship.

I think the common usage of the word simply describes someone *with a disposition towards* being the dominant partner in a BDSM relationship.

Left to our own devices, we are clearly never ever going to agree on the definition of the word 'dom'. The only way to find out what the common usage really is would be to ask a lot of people and then see how many of them actually use each definition.

Indeed! That's what everyone else does, and that's precisely why the common usage of the word is as a descriptive word.

Words mean what people commonly use them to mean. Surely the fact that you even use it yourself should give you a clue as to how accepted these words (i.e. dom, sub, switch etc) are as descriptive words?

I wouldn't say that until they said it themselves, whereupon yes, I would say that. After all, they should know better than anyone else, should they not?

I'm sure people sometimes call themselves doms and subs as part of a delusional little fantasy world, in which case, I don't really care what they call themselves. However, as long as people have their head screwed on and genuinely know what they're looking for at that point in their lives, then I would find it only courteous to accept their own definitions of themselves.

It's like trying to herd lolcats!

Well, I can still recall those heady days when I first found IC and the usage of the word "submissive" to describe all those things we use it for here...

... and yes, I identified as "submissive", and even as "a submissive", in the period before I actually submitted to anyone.

I have no reason to believe that the same couldn't be true for a dominant individual.

Personally, I too take these terms to apply to an orientation rather than an action.

Who took the blackcurrant?

No I don't...

I think it is as you describe it someone who's inclination is to dom.

I'm really not trying to rewrite anyone's personal dictionary. Just looking closer at the term and it's possible meanings and which I and others think are most suitable.

Really not on a crusade to make people stop describing themselves as doms

I assure you I am well aware how semiotics and semantics work. And because of that I know there is no such thing as a universally accepted definition. Everyone else's common usage is a little bit different from the next persons. Looking at the different ways people interpret words should help you understand them better.

It doesn't create confusion just lets you see the confusion that was already there.

and...

I do think you're right that the easiest thing is to simply call someone whatever they say they are.

another question... Apart form their liking of dominating people does the word dom conjure up any particular type of person to people?

I don't think it does for me (apart from silly leather waistcoat stereotypes which aren't that helpful) I'd be interested if it does for others.

"Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious." Oscar Wilde

Edited 12 Jul 09, 1:02 PM by PrinceCaspian