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| alexandraa |
First and foremost, and very most definitely each to their own, for god's sake we all know the horror that some folk feel over the mildest things we might do/submit to. In most of our relationships any part of our play or dynamic might be seen as hard and cruel and abusive. I've had friends, as deeply into BDSM as I, that are horrified by M's ownership of me, my lack of choice in the way we live our lives. I've had scene people scorn me for being a "sex slave". Personally I take that as a compliment. They saw my relationship with M as shallow, they were oh so very very wrong they'd missed the point that while sex is a vital part of our relationship its just one colour of the rainbow that makes the whole thing so beautiful.
But what I just cant get my head around personally is the lack of love. To have an S&M relationship without love? Not to have the utter bliss that M& i feel after a serious hard and long session when we're wrapped in each other's arms, when i'm shaking, in pieces and need putting back together? Blimey that's something i couldn't cope with on a long term basis. But let's be fair here. I'm an emotional sponge. No matter how much love i have poured on me i'm ready for more and M is the same - so that's one of our kinks right?
The emotional intensity that M requires from me is a huge demand and i adore it, meet it and then have still more to give. He returns all of that to me and so on and so on. So equally there must indeed be people at the different end of the scale that don't require that emotional depth, that can do S&M for the joy and pleasure they derive from it without the need for adoration and love. Its probably as alien to them to think of love within that context as its alien to me to think of that type of relationship without love.
I'm really really trying hard here to think that could work for some people. i suppose the problem for me is the abuse i have suffered in the past. To me an S&M relatiosnhip not full of warmth love and devotion (as well as all the delicious cruelty, torment and pain, i assure you i have no fluufy bunny relationship here with M) reminds me too too much of abuse i have suffered in the past. I must remember that is personal to me. I pride myself in being non judgemental, i am hugely proud of the history of my family and things my grandparents did to help persecuted folk to freedom.
Damn its hard sometimes, but each to their own....
Edited Sun 28 Mar 04, 1:56 PM by alexandraa
