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| alexandraa |
Pull up a chair and get a drink its a bit of a ramble and a rant. It surprised me today to read of someone mentioning limits. I have long forgotten about limits. I have none. I thought limits???? What????? People have limits??? It's so long since I've thought of having a free choice that I was quite stunned to think of saying, "No M, I dont do that - bugger off" (or words to that effect). Let me just qualify free choice - i choose freely to submit to M, joyfully and happily to submit to him in any and every way. End of story.
It kind of horrified me to think a sub in an established relationship would have limits she imposes on her Dominant. My mind just doesn't function that way any more. Mind you I bet lots of you are equally horrified I have none and I would do anything for this man. FFS he could ask me to do anything - am i mad????? No i simply trust him absolutely and that trust is firmly founded on my knowledge of him, my respect and love for him.
Believe you me I give respect very grudgingly and for me to say I trust and respect a man - that's a fuck of a lot for me to say.
There is no need for me to have limits and in fact I feel it would betray the trust we have within our relationship. How could I say I trust this man utterly with my life and well being and at the same time have a list of things I wont do for him or with him. That makes no sense to me. M of course has no go areas and I am aware and relieved at most of them (others I think dammit I fancy a bit of that) and yet I know, no matter what, should he change his mind or want to experiment I would go there.
I think what you can't underestimate here is the depth of control and trust that builds up over time within a deeply mental Ds relationship. I obey without question BUT absolutely know without a tremor of a doubt he will take care of me, my emotional and physical wellbeing, my mental health.
I have belonged to M now for a fair amount of time and it wouldn't occur to me to hold back from something he wanted. Its funny how that has crept up on me. I can remember about 18mths ago M said something to me that I balked at and declared no way. Yet within the hour I knew I was wrong and was begging forgiveness. I hadn't trusted him. We live and learn. That was early days for us and I can just about forgive myself for that slip.
What some would see as abuse of control is delight and enjoyment to another. It's the same old same old. Pain to one is pleasure to another. I'm sure there are things that M & I have as part of our relationship that others see as abusive and others still will see as leniancy. The name of the game is not to judge others but to learn from others and make our own choices. We each have different things we expect from relationships, different forms of control that we enjoy, submit to grudgingly or even have as hard limits.
I submit to M. What more is there to say? No ifs and buts, no clauses and contracts. I am his.
Of course M has the terrible weight of a Dominant's
responsibility...... See blog below for my views on
that one 
Season this please with the fact that we have an established long term relationship. Dont be a silly sub and march up to the first dominant you meet and declare undying trust. Dont be a daft dom and expect a new sub to keel over at your feet and obey your every desire. Relationships take time to build and Ds relationships are no different to any other, its still about equality, love, communication and trust no matter the label you put on it. If M released me (and I survived the drop from the top of the oxo tower) and I met a new Dominant, I would wait for the trust to build before I threw limits out with my knickers. I dont give my submission easily nor lightly but when I do I give it completely, to M and M alone.
Edited Sun 14 Mar 04, 8:54 PM by alexandraa
