Permanent marks (74)

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Tue 30 Jun 09, 8:13 PM
fuschia
UK(SE), 9 yrs
Recent events have thrown into relief the issues around permanent marks (tattoos and branding)
Would you ask this of your sub/slave? Would you agree to it for your dominant?
What responsibilities lie on both sides?
How would you feel if you were dumped and the marks were there forever as a reminder?
The problem with a network is the dishonest and abusive will be very selective who they network with.
I am happy to give an honest report on the past activities of X_Thunder_X to anyone thinking of getting involved in the future...
www.londonfetishscene.com

30 Jun 09, 8:18 PM
joanie
UK, 5 yrs

I have several permenant scarifications from Morphia. And if we ever parted, I wouldn't regret them. My time with her is so amazing, and she will always be part of my life.
http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/westlondonmunch/
M: Its only a baby needle, you wont know the difference. I am not a one dimensional needle obssessed domme...
J: Its going to be about sutures isnt it?

30 Jun 09, 8:21 PM
hinoeuma
UK, 3 yrs

fuschia wrote:
Permanent marks
Would you ask this of your sub/slave?
I did, and my sub has a tattoo of a rubber catsuited clad Lady on his arm and under it is his slave reg number....

fuschia wrote:
Would you agree to it for your dominant?

If i was owned i would do anything and everything that was requested.... in fact if he chose to put a tattoo on me it would be an amazing priviledge to wear.
Hopefully if one does go and get a tattoo to represent ownership it would be a design that wouldnt really matter if the relationship was to end. I know my subs isnt... but he aint going anywhere so it doesnt matter.
~* Raku wa ku no tané; ku wa raku no tané. *~
Edited 30 Jun 09, 8:22 PM by hinoeuma

30 Jun 09, 8:30 PM
Crystal_Eyes
UK(SA), 3 yrs

temperance wrote:
Hopefully if one does go and get a tattoo to represent ownership it would be a design that wouldnt really matter if the relationship was to end.

I think it's not so much about the tattoo itself (although having 'I heart Dave' on your forearm 3 years after he unceremoniously dumped you for someone else is far worse than an innocuous and personal design that no-one bar those involved understand the meaning of), but about how you would feel looking at that mark - their mark - after the relationship ended.
If the split was amicable, as suggested by Joanie, it could be a nice reminder of the wonderful time you shared, or a marker of a large chunk of your life. However if the split is damaging then I can't imagine anything worse than having a daily reminder of the whole thing, regardless of what the design actually was. It's what it represents that's more important, I think.
------------------------------------------
"Oh bother," said the borg. "We've assimilated Pooh..."
"The poon won't come flocking if you sit and do nothing."
Edited 30 Jun 09, 8:37 PM by Crystal_Eyes

30 Jun 09, 8:31 PM
x_Thunder_x
UK(E), 7 yrs
Y!

joanie wrote:
I have several permenant scarifications from Morphia. And if we ever parted, I wouldn't regret them. My time with her is so amazing, and she will always be part of my life.
It also depends on the reason. For instance, if a submissive for her birthday in March says she'd like a tattoo and her then Dominant points out the danger of having a personal one if they were to part, the submissive possibly might give the same answer as you have done.
If the submissive then finds a flower one of whose alternative names reflects her dominant's name , finds a tattooist recommended by a workmate. Goes there with her Dominant to get a quote, discovers that they are so busy that the first appointment is over 2 months later but the dominant pays the deposit as part of her birthday present.
If, come May the Dominant asks the submissive if she is sure and she again gives the same reply as you give
If she then has the tattoo and the dominant pays the balance but because of events a couple of weeks later they split, surely the response from the submissive re her birthday present still is relevant
But then presumabably the OP has her own motives for now prolonging this
^Thunder^
For those who wish to discuss M/s D/s issuesThe Slave Forum[
Edited 30 Jun 09, 8:33 PM by x_Thunder_x

30 Jun 09, 8:37 PM
fuschia
UK(SE), 9 yrs

x_Thunder_x wrote:
If, come May the Dominant asks the submissive id she is sure and she again gives the same reply as you give
If she then has the tattoo but because of events a couple of weeks later they split, surely the response from the submissive re her birthday present still is relevant
But the submissive, of course, in going ahead, would be doing it as a confirmation of her commitment... and clearly in the dark about what was going on in the dominant's head... because as you've admitted, you already knew that the relationship was doomed.. and ended it two weeks later.
I find that pretty unforgiveable.
Hence the discussion.
I sincerely hope anyone else purporting to be a dom who found themselves in that situation would have the courage and ethics to come clean about their real feelings, before the tattoo went ahead.
And also, as you can see, memories are long, and I very much hope that this time round, you won't be able to cover your tracks and start again later on without your previous record and activities being open to scrutiny.
The problem with a network is the dishonest and abusive will be very selective who they network with.
I am happy to give an honest report on the past activities of X_Thunder_X (http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/p/x_Thunder_x/) to anyone thinking of getting involved in the future...
Favourite website: www.lon
Edited 30 Jun 09, 8:40 PM by fuschia

30 Jun 09, 8:45 PM
ToakReon
UK(RH), 10 yrs
Y!

fuschia wrote:
Permanent marks
Recent events have thrown into relief the issues around permanent marks (tattoos and branding)
Would you ask this of your sub/slave? Would you agree to it for your dominant?
What responsibilities lie on both sides?
How would you feel if you were dumped and the marks were there forever as a reminder?
Speaking for myself I would NEVER, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ask a sub to accept permanent marking on my instruction. If she wants tattoos then that's down to her (and, being a tattoo loather I would actually rather she didn't) but the idea of commanding a girl to permanently alter her appearance is not for me.
Toak
FEMALE, BONDAGE-FRIENDLY MODEL SOUGHT. I am seeking to update my "How To" shibari bondage pictures (see my profile pics, the clothed blonde tied in red and black) with a model more "enthusiastic" about BDSM, and who is happy to be photographed nude. MEMO ME if this is you.

30 Jun 09, 8:48 PM
hinoeuma
UK, 3 yrs

Crystal_Eyes wrote:

temperance wrote:
Hopefully if one does go and get a tattoo to represent ownership it would be a design that wouldnt really matter if the relationship was to end.

but about how you would feel looking at that mark - their mark - after the relationship ended?

I have a perm scar from a previous relationship which ended in not such a good way. At first it did piss me off... but, as with all things, time is a great healer.

~* Raku wa ku no tané; ku wa raku no tané. *~

30 Jun 09, 8:48 PM
Crystal_Eyes
UK(SA), 3 yrs

fuschia wrote:
I sincerely hope anyone else purporting to be a dom who found themselves in that situation would have the courage and ethics to come clean about their real feelings, before the tattoo went ahead.
^^^ THIS ^^^
Saying "Oh it was all her idea, she wanted it done" doesn't automatically transfer all the responsibility away from the 'dominant' who sat back and allowed her to get his permanent mark of ownership whilst knowing (or at the very least, suspecting) that from his side, the relationship was already pretty much over. Any decent human being - never mind Dominant(!) - would have sat her down at that point and explained to her exactly why he didn't feel it was such a good idea.
------------------------------------------
"Oh bother," said the borg. "We've assimilated Pooh..."
"The poon won't come flocking if you sit and do nothing."

30 Jun 09, 8:49 PM
fuschia
UK(SE), 9 yrs
Seems it's easy to be a dominant when it doesn't matter, but in anything important, the sub has acted at their own behest!
The problem with a network is the dishonest and abusive will be very selective who they network with.
I am happy to give an honest report on the past activities of X_Thunder_X (http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/p/x_Thunder_x/) to anyone thinking of getting involved in the future...
www.londonfetishscene.com

30 Jun 09, 8:50 PM
selenie
UK(NP), 2 yrs
Y!

fuschia wrote:

x_Thunder_x wrote:
If, come May the Dominant asks the submissive id she is sure and she again gives the same reply as you give
If she then has the tattoo but because of events a couple of weeks later they split, surely the response from the submissive re her birthday present still is relevant
But the submissive, of course, in going ahead, would be doing it as a confirmation of her commitment... and clearly in the dark about what was going on in the dominant's head... because as you've admitted, you already knew that the relationship was doomed.. and ended it two weeks later.
I find that pretty unforgiveable.
Hence the discussion.
I sincerely hope anyone else purporting to be a dom who found themselves in that situation would have the courage and ethics to come clean about their real feelings, before the tattoo went ahead.
I pretty much agree with everything Fuschia has written here... A relationship doesn't just break up in two weeks. Clearly something was going wrong and you knew this in the back of your mind yet you didn't suggest she reconsider the tattoo and get something else, or even postpone it - If she wanted a tattoo done she could have gotten something she wanted, something for her.
Back on topic:- Master and I have discussed a tattoo for myself - mostly because I love His tattoo and would love a feminine varient of His... But we both agree that having a tattoo with someone's name on it would be stupid and tacky - the only exception for me would be to get a tattoo with my brother's name/date of birth/death.
At the end of the day the only thing that is certain in life is death and taxes...

I wanna be great like Elvis, without the tassels!

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