IC ... not a dating site (78)

Well, Topper, congratulations on reducing your own chances of successfully using this as a dating site. I know I'd be unimpressed to read that someone I was thinking about meeting had written this.

Oh, and 'primarily' means 'for the most part' not 'was originally designed as'. I think you were thinking of 'INITIALLY'. I don't know if The Key is right in saying that it's primarily for events now, but I do know that it's used for what people want to use it for, not what a clique dictates. Even the person who set up this site seems to take a consensus view of where it's going. So don't blame other people for your failure to use this site to pull.

If life gives you lemons, tell your sub to make you lemonade.

IC was never primarily a dating site: it started with a list of links to other UK sites and the UK BDSM events list. Personal ads only came in when the guestbook was overrun by them.

However, it's not primarily for talking about events either, as most people don't read the web boards during their visit.

It's a place for people to exchange information about BDSM in the UK, via listings, ads, boards, profiles, weblogs, chatrooms, memos, and pictures; and no one purpose or method is primary to that.

Regards,

Admin

Remember: it's only a website
But never forget that time is finite

Various points in no particular order.

First people who do meet and fall in love (remember that) on IC are pretty sure to shout about it from the roof tops, which I think is rather nice and heart warming, but statistics wise it muddies the waters because those who don't find their one and only are likely to stay quiet about it. So my guess is that the people who do find someone through IC for a long term relationship are fewer than you might think.

Second all remote meeting mechanisms (oh yes like it) whether ad in paper and phone message or computer based are running right against the imensely powerful programme by which we are designed to meet up and have done for millenia, which is via the experience of each other's presence; aka eyes accross a crowded room. The human presence is an immensely rich exchange of data. I'm not really talking about body language, it is much deeper and richer that that and includes the wealth of facial expression and tone of voice. Only a tiny fraction of this can possibly be experienced via memo and photograph. Which is why being out there and meeting people at munches etc etc is, as people always say, a much more likely way of finding a partner.

But, best bit kept to the end, what I really wonder about you OP is what goes on when you do meet someone. Are you sure, to put it rather simplistically, that you aren't shooting yourself in the foot by wanting to find yourself in the starring role in a fairy tale and getting prematurely disillusioned every time it doesn't work like that?

They do say the best relationships often start slowly. You have a very romantic profile,(I love it incidentally) but I do just wonder whether you need to get your feet on the ground a bit and not expect too much too soon. Men have their emotional needs too and the ones who enjoy and feel themselves being your Dom/ father figure or whatever are in a sense, and this is a deep paradox which I don't pretend to understand, very emotionally needy about that.

As a sub I think it is important to have some sense of that. Possibly other sub women would be a better source of guidance about that than I can be.

My object all sublime...

By the way you might like this:

http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/196942/0

My object all sublime...

Edited 27 Jun 09, 12:51 PM by stormywaters

... and you're insanely attractive.

Sure is. I don't actually live on the space station but North Norfolk is the closest approximation you can get while remaining on the planet.

So it's handy I'm insanely attractive.

My object all sublime...

“but it is not really a dating site”.

I know the site also has its fakers, and those who use it for self-expression, rants, or just a kinky networking site too.

When I first joined IC my memo in box was always full daily of memos from women asking me for hot dates. To which I always replied politely “sorry no”, en mass. However, I have found that since adding to my profile that I have a girlfriend, this has now reduced the requests to an average of about one request per day.

So the site isn't about dating for me.

Pornified Man-Hater Extraordinaire.

Tales of IC folk who have found, more contributions welcome.

Why poison your liver when I could eat it for you?
The antidote to whinge threads...?

I joined IC to read,connect with a few people,maybe have some kinky fun here and there and as the group title says maybe become a little more informed.

I have succeeded in all these things with the added bonus i have met some really nice people along the way who i count as friends now.No relationship but then i was never looking for one so no suprise there.

I find it a great site and one where you can discuss lots of other stuff besides bdsm if you want to.There are some highly intelligent 'sparky' people on here and i salute them all.Even the ones i have strongly disagreed with,lol!!

I wish you the very best in your search. And remember...you have to kiss a few frogs along the way to finding your prince!........'Croak,croak!'