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The increasing acceptance of BDSM? (57)

This post is on the BDSM Activism web board.

Sarkastodom wrote:

emark wrote:
One thing I think is different about BDSM to say homosexuality is that there's a far greater range in what people's behaviours are.

I wouldn't agree with this statement. I think sexuality is a fluid thing and the Gay/Straight divide is just as false as the vanilla/kinky divide.

I agree that sexuality is a spectrum, but I don't mean in that sense - all that means is that there exist people who are attracted towards men and women. Whilst there exist some range in sexual orientation (e.g., some people might have kissed members of the same sex, but not want to have sex with them - or maybe they do, but don't want relationships), that's pretty much it.

I don't mean range in the sense of "straight vs gay", I mean in terms of how much someone is into it (after all, if someone is bisexual, that doesn't mean they merely dabble with homosexuality - they might have just as much sex with members of the same sex as gay peopledo).

Although millions of people sit down each week to watch the likes of Alan Carr and Graham Norton, in terms of actual sexual practices male homosexuality is still very much a taboo subject.

I agree there is plenty of homophobia around.

And in my equally limited experience of the BDSM scene I have noticed that, although it is fantastic to meet transvestites, transgender, dom(mes), subs, tops, bottoms, furries, rubber lovers, spankees and spankers and 'unfortunitely' wankers of both sexes, the only bi-sexual or homosexual people I have met have been female.

I know lots of bisexual men, including those into BDSM. (I don't know many gay men or women, whether into BDSM or not.)

BDSM, and female homosexuality are already accepted as part of 'sex'(every 'Lad's Mag' will have a 'girl on girl' photo-shoot, and every grand national The Sun will have the page 3 girl carry a riding crop, every Wimbledon bent over in a short skirt and white knickers)

I agree that female homosexuality (and bisexuality) seems more accepted - I think partly because most homophobia seems to come from straight men. So they condemn homosexuality in other men, but less so women, probably because the stereotypical idea of fantasy threesomes. And women are less likely to condemn homosexuality in men or women.

Sign the statement against criminalisation of possession "extreme" images. Petition against plans to criminalise sexual cartoons appearing to depict anyone under 18.

28 Jun 09, 10:36 PM
misfit
UK, 3 yrs

Masteryx wrote:

misfit wrote:

Masteryx wrote:
I myself was violently attacked a few months ago* because I am a fetishist and practise BDSM. Whilst my experience may not be representative, I've still had it.

This sounds terrible and you indeed have my sympathy.

Thanks, Misfit.

I am fully recovered now. Degenerate gave me some moral support and other help.

My pleasure

I worked with a bunch of c***s once who thought entertainment was to beat up gay men and I saw red as used to frequent some of the bars with my g/f and told them they were just suppressing their deepest desires. Close link between love and hate. Is it really lurve that you're feeling. They chased me out of the gates and when home I received a call from my boss telling me never to go back for my own health.

Sometimes my big mouth gets me in a lot of trouble. Needless to say I never went back.

Best

Space travels in my blood. And there ain't nothing I can do about it.
I know I'm being used, that's okay cause I like the abuse.
I can resist everything except temptation.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt and then it's just hilarious.
Cake or Death?
She'll tie a noose with your heartstrings

29 Jun 09, 5:20 AM
wonderer
UK, 5 yrs

CookieMonster wrote:

wonderer wrote:

(Didn't quite get cookie's distinction between tolerance and acceptance)

Most people in the UK do not read BDSM activism everyday and may have only the vague understanding generated by the Tabloids.

Hence why demand someone Accept something they dont understand, would you?

If I posted some really abstract economic theory and said you should accept it how would you react?

You could respect the opinion and Tolerate the idea but pushing for acceptance steps into the world of Orwell and thought controll. Most people would instinctivley baulk at it.

Its a lot easier just to teach or preach general tolerance imo.

So acceptance requires understanding of a practice while tolerance is a general attitude? I don't think most people make that distinction between the words. If I say I'm generally accepting, have a "live and let live" philosophy, "each to their own" (so long as they don't harm others) - I'd describe that as either acceptance or tolerance. For me the word tolerance implies a bit of a burden, and acceptance can seem a tad reluctant too. I tend to prefer the more positive notions of respecting, enjoying, even celebrating the diversity of humanity.

Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/

29 Jun 09, 8:25 AM
CookieMonster
UK, 6 yrs

Maybe I'm being a bit anul about definitions.

I'm quite cynical and accept very little on face value.

I'll just tolerate the Terminology.

29 Jun 09, 5:22 PM
Jude_the_Obscene
UK(HD), 3 yrs

Lady_Lucan wrote:
Personally, I don't give a shiny shite what other people think of my lifestyle.

I do, however, object strongly to the fact that people who dislike my lifestyle can do far more about that than I can about their actions.

It's a conundrum.

That's pretty much my view. I don't care what other people think of me (and mockery is not something that I fear).

I just want people to stay the fuck out of my business.

I'm off to see the Bootleg Beatles.
As the Bootleg Mark Chapman.

29 Jun 09, 8:26 PM
SirLashleyS
UK(S), 4 yrs

Excellent thread, so many good points.

BDSM'ers use (jokingly) 'pervert' or 'pervy' in on-scene chat. Okay, but this may play into the hands of those who love to detract.

Misinformed prejudice has slightly eased. But many folk, plainly, are still far too easily programmed by tabloids' (misused) terminology. Prisons have 'wings' set aside for true perverts (those who have victimised innocent folk and deserve to be locked away).

Yet 'PERVERT!' the rags are too happy to print, eager to mis-label harmless folk who may be 'a lttle bit kinky'. Re terminology: Too many morons out there, quite simply, STILL cannot differentiate. Sad, but hey: C'est la vie...

The silky-smooth soothing voice of reason and logic. (You WILL feel much better and speak more sense while very securely tied-up...)

29 Jun 09, 8:59 PM
SirLashleyS
UK(S), 4 yrs

How good it would (be for advancement of kink) to further dismantle widespread misconceptions. I (for one) work bloody hard to do this. Thousands of hours devoted to writing, in hope of promoting the cause...

The silky-smooth soothing voice of reason and logic. (You WILL feel much better and speak more sense while very securely tied-up...)