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The increasing acceptance of BDSM? (57)

This post is on the BDSM Activism web board.

Deviant_Mind wrote:

skyfox wrote:

lima_pink_tigress wrote:
I think this may be a generational thing. In my experience (limited as it is) the younger generations appear to be much more open minded and accepting of many things and sex, in general, seems to be a biggy.

Ian_2007 wrote:
All I've noticed is that, as well as every generation believing that it's the first to discover sex, every generation also believes that it's the first to discover BDSM.

I wonder if the same thing was said 20 or 30 years ago. Conservatives are stereotypically older, and we all know it's the OAPs who come out to vote the most. I'm just unconvinced that people weren't saying the same things in the 60's.

People do become more conservative with age.

It's easy to be a radical when you're an unattached hippy. A bit harder after 4 kids, a mortgage and a job in middle management.

"If your not a liberal at 20 you have no heart, if your not a conservatie by 30 you have no mind."

So far I feel I've become more liberal (or that I care more strongly about my liberal views) with age, precisely because I have more to lose.

Sign the statement against criminalisation of possession "extreme" images. Petition against plans to criminalise sexual cartoons appearing to depict anyone under 18.

28 Jun 09, 2:06 PM
Undercover_perv
UK(EH), 2 yrs

As has already been said, acceptance is more than a single strand of our lives, there are parts of our lives which have possibly been more marginalised and less understood than our belief in relationship contexts or sexual preferences.

I'm a Hearts fan and a Porking attendor... I am far more marginalised due to those two issues than i have ever been or felt marginalised due to my relationship preferences

Edited for comic effect

You can either come the fuck in, or fuck the fuck off

Edited 28 Jun 09, 2:26 PM by Undercover_perv

28 Jun 09, 2:36 PM
Merrick
ML, 3 yrs

lady_kayleigh wrote:

The reason why is probably a cultural aspect. In Germany you can be open – and nothing wrong will happen. People are more accepting, even if they don't share this interest. Whereas over here in the UK people fear being open because of the consequences.

Thanks for your (and everyone elses) interesting reply. I completely agree with the cultural aspect. I've found that Germans are indeed far more open towards their sexuality than us repressed British!

28 Jun 09, 3:34 PM
MisterAndy
UK(SS), 4 yrs

This is a very interesting thread, but is also causing me some irritation. The reason i'm irritated is because posters on here are talking about public attitudes towards BDSM without providing any strong evidence. It seems to me that most of the hostility comes from gutter tabloids such as the News of the World. Is there really any evidence that most ordinary people in Britain are against BDSM. For example has there been any opinion polls published in recent years in regards to sexual attitudes in society which would clarify this. Yes i'm aware that some kinky people who work with children such as teachers have had problems, but the Britain of 2009 is a very liberal society. I think that there is a danger of assuming that the opinions of the tabloids are the same as ordinary people. In my opinion they are not.

Youth's a mask and it don't last. Live it long and live it fast.(The Killing of Georgie by Rod Stewart)

28 Jun 09, 3:36 PM
Mad_Monk
UK(BH), 4 yrs

Degenerate wrote:

Mad_Monk wrote:
of depravity.

Good grief. I think you just turned the thread sexy

(Chuckles darkly) I got a boner writing it

"He took a single sip of her pain and found it exquisite"

28 Jun 09, 4:08 PM
El_Presidente
UK(G), 4 yrs

Undercover_perv wrote:
I'm a Hearts fan and a Porking attendor...

Have you attended any good ones lately (either matches or porkings)?

"If you've got a date in Constantinople, she'll be waiting in Istanbul."

28 Jun 09, 4:44 PM
Sarkastodom
UK(EX), 4 yrs

emark wrote:
One thing I think is different about BDSM to say homosexuality is that there's a far greater range in what people's behaviours are.

I wouldn't agree with this statement. I think sexuality is a fluid thing and the Gay/Straight divide is just as false as the vanilla/kinky divide.

Although millions of people sit down each week to watch the likes of Alan Carr and Graham Norton, in terms of actual sexual practices male homosexuality is still very much a taboo subject.

It would seem that the gay scene (and lets face it in a patriarchal society the 'gay scene' is dominated by male homosexuals) is much more open and accepting to BDSM than the 'straight scene' is. Maybe because once people have come out about the ultimate sexual taboo they are more willing to admit to and/or accept others.

Although I must admit I don't have that much first hand knowledge. Most 'men that do with other man' I know, or have met in the past, have been accepting to the fact that people might enjoy BDSM but not do so themselves. (despite the stereotype that all gay men love it).

And in my equally limited experience of the BDSM scene I have noticed that, although it is fantastic to meet transvestites, transgender, dom(mes), subs, tops, bottoms, furries, rubber lovers, spankees and spankers and 'unfortunitely' wankers of both sexes, the only bi-sexual or homosexual people I have met have been female.

Is this because the male homosexual scene is so accepting that nobody believes themselves to be 'kinky', or is it that even 'kinky' people still have the gay/straight divide. I would be interested to know, as none of the people I know who are into BDSM are in any way homophobic.

But back to the OP, I think that the increased depiction of BDSM in the mainstream media is just a result of the increased sexualisation of culture (although that isn't the right word. Medieval ballads are full of virginal damsels tied up and knights with their powerful thrusting lances (fnar,fnar)

BDSM, and female homosexuality are already accepted as part of 'sex'(every 'Lad's Mag' will have a 'girl on girl' photo-shoot, and every grand national The Sun will have the page 3 girl carry a riding crop, every Wimbledon bent over in a short skirt and white knickers)

28 Jun 09, 5:28 PM
misfit
UK, 3 yrs

Masteryx wrote:
I myself was violently attacked a few months ago* because I am a fetishist and practise BDSM. Whilst my experience may not be representative, I've still had it.

This sounds terrible and you indeed have my sympathy.

Space travels in my blood. And there ain't nothing I can do about it.
I know I'm being used, that's okay cause I like the abuse.
I can resist everything except temptation.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt and then it's just hilarious.
Cake or Death?
She'll tie a noose with your heartstrings

28 Jun 09, 5:38 PM
misfit
UK, 3 yrs

Merrick wrote:

misfit wrote:

Tell some of the people who bought city centre flats outside of London specifically Manchester and Leeds and I do not think they will feel the same way.

The odd hiccup 2.2m unemployed and rising and 80% falls in the above flats.

Sounds about the same as the recession back in 1991. How did the house prices compare in 2005 as they did in 1991 in regards to the worst hit areas?

Trust me - they ultimately go only one way mate, despite peaks and troughs. I think BDSM will be the same for that matter. Or at least I hope so.

We will have to agree to disagree on this one and I think we are heading towards 1979/80. Also with salaries remaining static and the average house prices approx 7.2* ave salary where will the money come from to buy as lenders will have to go back to more trad multiples which will mean house prices will fall as the borrowing will not be there to support it. History is no barometer of the future.

With regards to BDSM I think the fact that it is different to the mainstream will mean it will always have its detractors and what people do not understand they are often in fear of. For this reason I do not think it will ever be fully mainstream. I only had to read a few articles and letters with regards to Ben Westwood to understand this.

28 Jun 09, 6:17 PM
Masteryx
3 yrs

misfit wrote:

Masteryx wrote:
I myself was violently attacked a few months ago* because I am a fetishist and practise BDSM. Whilst my experience may not be representative, I've still had it.

This sounds terrible and you indeed have my sympathy.

Thanks, Misfit.

I am fully recovered now. Degenerate gave me some moral support and other help.

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