The increasing acceptance of BDSM? (57)

Sounds about the same as the recession back in 1991. How did the house prices compare in 2005 as they did in 1991 in regards to the worst hit areas?

Trust me - they ultimately go only one way mate, despite peaks and troughs. I think BDSM will be the same for that matter. Or at least I hope so.

I wrote a post in January after having discovered in Debenhams sale a gift pack under the banner "undercover lover" containing plastic handcuffs and a men's thong. Not good stuff of course but evidence of widespread acceptance. This is in the mainstream.

Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/

It's only in the past 20 - 30 years that we've started to accept and tolerate things like mental illness, homosexuality and even disability. Until relatively recently in this country people who were more than capable of being fully functioning and valuable members of society were encarcerated, medicated and subjected to electric shock treatment.

What alters people's perspectives of such things seems, to be positive exposure and education. The problem is though, that people, I think, tend to be much more accepting of differences that are deemed to be inherant, part of a persons make up, something they were born with, in their wiring. So, I think a big part of it is whether Joe public views kink as a lifestyle choice or an inherant 'difference'.

Pink stripey tigresses have pink stripey bottoms

One thing I think is different about BDSM to say homosexuality is that there's a far greater range in what people's behaviours are. Whilst there are degrees in sexual orientation, for the most part people are gay (or bi), or not. But with BDSM there's the full range from light spanking or bondage as a part of sex, through those who do BDSM as an act in itself (with or without sex), to edgeplay acts such as breath play, along with those who practice d/s for a significant or entire part of their relationships.

It's a double edged sword. On the plus side, there are probably a lot more people who have done light bondage or spanking, compared with the number of gay people, which leads to greater acceptance for the milder activities, and to some degree for all BDSM. But the downside is it's easier for people to draw a line, and say that whilst some things are okay, other things are too "extreme". Indeed I've seen this with the "extreme" porn law - people can pretend that they have nothing against BDSM, but what they mean is they only accept mild acts, and anything covered by the law, or criminalised by Spanner, is "too extreme". Even among BDSMers, it's easy for people to want to draw a line and say that some things that other people do is going "too far". This makes it easier to be prejudiced, discriminate, or pass laws against the less common activities.

And yes, you are right that the Internet helps - it's not one or the other though, all these things are good. The existence of sites like Informed Consent, including this Activism section, are all helping to gain greater awareness and acceptance.

Sign the statement against criminalisation of possession "extreme" images. Petition against plans to criminalise sexual cartoons appearing to depict anyone under 18.

Edited 27 Jun 09, 12:33 AM by emark

But I think that it is not so much acceptance, but rather a decrease in misperception. That is, of course, something positive, but I don't think it's quite the same.

I myself was violently attacked a few months ago* because I am a fetishist and practise BDSM. Whilst my experience may not be representative, I've still had it.

*ETA: I would like to thank @Degenerate for her support and help

Edited 27 Jun 09, 8:19 AM by Masteryx

Or even if it is possible for complete acceptance at all.

I just think BDSM has always been a wide and fractured church of difference faiths.

-- A Kervert Pinky

All I've noticed is that, as well as every generation believing that it's the first to discover sex, every generation also believes that it's the first to discover BDSM.

Perhaps this relates to society's increasing illiteracy and all round lack of interest in the world around them

With the rise in surveilance, CCTV, internet and errosion of privacy/secrecy, Big brother, The freedom of Information act etc The west is becomming a snooping Society.

These are not necesarily bad things but there are no guidlines about where to draw the line. Well apart from the Max M case. So its inevitable the Media is going to crawl further into peoples bedrooms

Oh and screw acceptance thats a crock of shit, and PC special groups. I would like to see the concept of general Tolerance returned so people who understand that dont need BDSM explained to them or need to be brow beaten into "accepting" it.

Each year the numbers of people with BDSM experience grows, another drop in the ocean of life, that extra bit of colour. And as time goes on the more drops are entered in, the stronger that colour becomes visibly.

The Internet has no doubt helped it's spread (without it I'd probably still be in a vanilla relationship, not understanding why I found it all so dissatisfying).

Who knows, eventually there may be enough drops in the ocean that people see BDSM as 'old news'. And gradually that line where people say things are unacceptable will move.

Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble with none - Confucius

I wonder if the same thing was said 20 or 30 years ago. Conservatives are stereotypically older, and we all know it's the OAPs who come out to vote the most. I'm just unconvinced that people weren't saying the same things in the 60's.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.