Incentives (54)

Ha ha

I LOVE this one...

In fact, I think I will be using it in the next 5mins!!!

Jules XxX

i personally wouldnt dream of speaking to my Master that way.... thats what i have subs for...

And no i wouldnt find it fun and flirtatious either... unless of course i was loking to get punished then yeah maybe....

~* Raku wa ku no tané; ku wa raku no tané. *~

I think perhaps this is an each to their own type of thing, but I am very interested in all of the views that people have, so thanks to everyone who has contributed to the thread so far - lots of food for thought!!

Jules XxX

I think that topics posted on this, the D/s and M/s board are generally going to be discussed by those who are, as the Board is aimed at, in D/s or M/s relationships. Those people may not feel comfortable or consider it appropriate to attempt to act outside of the roles their D/s dynamic works on.

I think there is a world of difference between D/s roleplay which can be part time, conditional and limited in scope in many ways and a D/s relationship where the D/s is present all the time.

I don't think it is about people taking themselves too seriously. I am serious about my relationship and what it means to myself and my sub and see that as perfectly natural and normal to be serious about things that matter deeply.

I would hate to think there was an implication that any of us into 24/7 D/s are judged negatively because we are serious about what we are into.

We are all capable of having fun in our own ways. What one person perceives as people not having fun may be a misreading of their situation and actions.

However, fun does not mean we give up on or go against the principles our relationships are founded. We all have to be true to ourselves first and foremost no matter what anyone else may think of what we do.

24/7 subs and slaves can and do live similar lives, it is only the concept of 'ownership' which separates them.

I too am serious about my relationships. In relationships I am 24/7 a submissive to my partner. It's how I am, I don't have to think about being submissive or doing submissive things because that's just how I am. I am 24/7, that's me. I take a ds dynamic seriously, although I don't tend to fit quite in with the stereotypical ds dynamic.

HOWEVER. That doesn't mean I can't have fun. It means I'm a 24 year old girl who likes to be silly and laugh at herself on a frequent basis.

You imply that you cannot have a serious ds relationship AND joke around with your partner and take the StMick out of yourselves. If we can't laugh at ourselves, what else is left to laugh at?

Just because you flirt with each other in an "ordinary" way does not mean that you aren't serious about your relationship. In fact I think the complete opposite. If you are comfortable enough in your relationship that this flirting, fun and laughing can happen, it means your relationship is far more organic and natural. I have no need for any partner of mine to constantly reaffirm that he's in control. I know it, he knows it, we both know it. Hypothetical he at the moment obviously, what with being single at the moment.

I am not saying you can't be fun and flirty but people have points at which the principles on which the base their relationship make them stop, as the fun, flirty, silliness might become 'topping from the bottom' 'brattiness' or worse, blatant disobedience and would be unappreciated by their partner.

I certainly did not imply that a 24/7 D/s relationship cannot include jokes and laughing at each other and oneself. D/s relationships, like mine and many others, would not last successfully if that were the case. They grow,strengthen and last because the participants allow for everyday, fun, light hearted behaviours to co-exist with many other ways of interacting. However, the 'natural' behaviour for you will not be the 'natural' behaviour for me. We are different.

It is just that we all see certain things as beyond the limit in our own relationships and don't wish to be judged as taking ourselves too seriously if we express that what might be okay for others, is not right for us. It does not imply any lack of fun, just commitment to and happiness in our own way of doing things.

24/7 subs and slaves can and do live similar lives, it is only the concept of 'ownership' which separates them.

This is something I really struggle with. I like things done my way and it's been something of a battle for me to accept that maybe he isn't a complete idiot and what he's doing he is doing for a reason and it's not my place to ask/ demand an explanation.

I find the suggestion that if one doesn't demand things, albeit under the guise of coyness/ flirtation, then the relationship is devoid of fun and much too serious somewhat bizarre. I'd much rather have fun by being a good, silly, over-excited wriggly girl for him than by making my wishes known.

I think it's somewhat bizarre on a D/s board that someone would associate obedience and "knowing your place" with boringness.

"Could I stand by and watch my wife be raped by a nazi, I asked myself, no I couldn't." "But you're not married?" "No, but I have a very vivid imagination."

Very good point, can be one of the hardest things to achieve.

"Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious." Oscar Wilde

Different strokes for different folks.

I ask questions and debate to further understand. Cause you never know, I might like what I find out.

I'm inquisitive, I like to know more about how different dynamics work for different people.

"Could I stand by and watch my wife be raped by a nazi, I asked myself, no I couldn't." "But you're not married?" "No, but I have a very vivid imagination."

Edited 26 Jun 09, 12:16 AM by GirlAfraid