This post is on the Pro-Mistresses etc web board.
| 29 Jun 09, 4:21 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 3 yrs  |
My point is, that is for those others to decide. You can decide about your life but others must weigh up what is best for them, all things considered. 24/7 subs and slaves can and do live similar lives, it is only the concept of 'ownership' which separates them. | |||
| 30 Jun 09, 10:45 AM Ms_Valentine UK, 3 yrs |
What you endorse is a wonderful ideal but we do not live in wonderful ideal times nor is the world populated with wonderful ideal people. Compromises in all areas are made and they are not always the end of the world. I understand very clearly that what you say is good advice for yourself. However, it is no good trying to tell others how they should live. We all have to make up our own minds about how we live our lives. You really do not know best for everyone. 24/7 subs and slaves can and do live similar lives, it is only the concept of 'ownership' which separates them. Edited 30 Jun 09, 10:50 AM by Ms_Valentine | |||
| 30 Jun 09, 3:54 PM Elysium UK(EH), 5 yrs  |
Pro dommes are people too! I think that sex workers get a raw deal in general. Not necessarily in payment, but in general opinions and attitudes towards them. I think it boils down to the fact that most people view these interactions and behaviours as somehow sacred, deeply personal and important in their lives. To distil it down to a monetary agreement somehow cheapens their own experiences and a negative attitude is the result. This results in an assumption of exploitation, either of the pro, or of the client. How could someone sell such a part of themselves so readily? How could someone so callously seek to hink they could place a price on these activities. I think that in order to understand you have to take a look at it from both the client and pro's perspective. They both get what they want out of it and no one is hurt. It also doesn't cheapen anyone elses relationship. How could it? It's a monetary exchange precisely so the trappings of a deep interpersonal relationship do not have to be of consequence. This is coming from a person who has never used professional sexual services of any kind. I used to be of the opinion that such a relationship was inherently exploitative. The pro's on the scene have since managed to make me change that opinion.
Curing the sickness that lies between yourself and your goals. | |||
| 30 Jun 09, 6:27 PM Ms_Tytania_London 3 yrs |
But the truth is that you can't *have a Domme*. Nobody can. The fact taht you sue the term *have* irks me, and not coz I'm all Dommy, like. As Ms Valentie said earlier, relationships involve deals and making allowances. You can't have a person. Her needs and wishes are as important as your own. Dommes are people, complex women with multifaceted identities, needs and expectations. If you are waiting to meet a woman who will be *your Domme*, without money worries, menstrual pains, slobbish days spent in her pyjamas, school runs, etc, etc, then you are going to be waiting a very long time. It sounds to me that you are waiting for a fantasy figure to come along, and that 's not going to happen. You have to accept the whole woman, make a deal, compromise, or nothing at all. And if you don't like the bare faced, vulnerable woman in the first place, she isn't going to save her Dommy days for you. We want men who have the balls to love real women, not comic book heroines, so we can go back to being stroppy Mistress refreshed, in the knowledge that our less than perfect selves are cherished too. Edited 30 Jun 09, 6:35 PM by Ms_Tytania_London | |||
| 30 Jun 09, 6:58 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 3 yrs |
Most people seem unable to summon up perfect lives filled with perfect and ideal people and settle for a compromise which enables them to be happy enough and for no one else to need to know or be hurt by what they feel they need do. Not ideal but a damn sight better than those guys resigning themselves to a deeply unfulfilled sexual life. That can lead to stress and depression and is no good for anyone around them. As I keep saying but you fail to comprehend, these guys visit me because they feel a need, and want to explore bdsm safely and with a professional sane competent woman. That is what they have decided by their actions is the best thing for them. If they didn't think it was the best choice they had, then they wouldn't do it. I am not able to force them to see me against their better judgement. So, given what you said about what is best for everyone, those others have made their choice. You may not like married men visiting PDs like me but they do it and that is their choice. What exactly makes you think you know any better than I do about what is right for people to do? I say 'walk a mile in their shoes' or at least try to imagine what it might be like, and then see if life, and the choices you might make, would be any different.
24/7 subs and slaves can and do live similar lives, it is only the concept of 'ownership' which separates them. | |||
| 1 Jul 09, 9:44 AM Lady_Anna_Bradford UK(BD), 5 yrs   |
And yet you gave that impression...
"If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness | |||
| 1 Jul 09, 11:40 AM MistressSBlack UK(LE), 7 yrs £ |
I have a full clientele list of both singe subs and married , I think it is a matter of choice, some men or ladies for that matter , only wish to partake in BDSM activities part time as in when the mood takes them , I feel that i provide a need , a need that is not only a necessity but a desire without affecting their "normal nilla life"
I am safe , sane, Controlled and Greatly Experienced in my art.
Not every one can afford to risk their marriage or evolve into a full time loving relationship within the scene, So I feel we provide a great service to those who fall into that particular pathway .
Pro Dommes are not for everyone , But for those who need release form the Nilla world we are a there to provide a service . That's not to say that we see people solely for financial gain , well I also love what I do and i do see people gratis for my own pleasure too . It really should be equality for all those who love BDSM we should all be together in our art, not seperated , we all share the same enthusiasm and love of it .. | |||
| 1 Jul 09, 12:18 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 3 yrs |
Yep, I thought he did too. Must be losing my critical faculties in all this heat. 24/7 subs and slaves can and do live similar lives, it is only the concept of 'ownership' which separates them. | |||
| 1 Jul 09, 1:55 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 3 yrs |
I have given up exalting the virtues of honesty as I am probably by some standards an extremely honest person and yet, I am also (like most of us) guilty of lying and being dishonest on occasion. What a contradiction. However, I do think Pro Dommes are generally very honest people. It is a case of "it does what it says on the tin". Honesty is expressed in many ways, and most of it has to involve an honesty with oneself. Sometimes that means being internally honest about what we do and why even if it isn't an ideal situation with ideal outcomes. 24/7 subs and slaves can and do live similar lives, it is only the concept of 'ownership' which separates them. Edited 1 Jul 09, 1:56 PM by Ms_Valentine | |||
| 1 Jul 09, 10:17 PM Mistress_Lady_Julia UK(LN), 3 yrs £ |
My distinct impression too! and IMO PD's have saved marriages. He or She doesnt leave the person they are married to or go looking for an affair to fulfil thier occasional need to be a slave/sub. Visiting a PD is for some an opportunity to escape and release the pressure while still caring for and supporting their relationship, yes they may have to lie to escape once a month but a dozen visits a year can keep them content and able to support their family rather than ending thier relationship - because there is a part of them that is unfulfilled. |
