This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 31 Jul 09, 8:23 PM reflex UK(PE), 8 yrs |
I do find it quite hard to understand the concept of a 'slave' as a property who can be 'released' or 'let go' outside of a fantasy world. The wording makes the relationship sound very one sided where the master has carte blanche to end the relationship at any time he chooses without so much as a by your leave. It sounds like there was little or no explanation in this case and someone got badly hurt in the process. Serious question - is that acceptable to anyone who identifies as a slave?
| |
| 31 Jul 09, 9:44 PM LadyLibidienne UK(CB), 8 yrs   |
I found when it happened to me i just went wild. Met people took a lot of pain far more than i can now but it helped to stop the hurting. We now talk occasionally but not as often as he would like as i have moved on considerably. It will get better love, good luck to you and hugs xxxx "A heart is not judged by how much it loves but by how much it is loved" Wizard of Oz to the Tinman You give little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet | |
| 31 Jul 09, 11:54 PM Mabuse 4 yrs |
I do not believe in the old adage of 'time is a healer', the only thing that change is your outlook and your feelings on your past experience. Although for me it still hurts and I think of him everyday, but like a friend said to me, 'At least you have had those times with him.' | |
| 5 Aug 09, 1:41 PM TheVoid UK(RG), 5 yrs |
I know the feeling, its worse when you don't expect it, it happened to me recently, it hurts, and in my case I don't and probably never will understand why but ultimatly you still have to live your life, and one day move on. It's always sad  | |
| 5 Aug 09, 2:11 PM Arbuthnot UK(E), 7 yrs |
My orientation is basically d/s so, like Reflex, I have some difficulty understanding the 24/7 master / slave dynamic. Therefore, forgive me if this doesn't make sense. Surely if there's an understanding of a master / slave relationship between two people, a sort of informal contract if you like, which some people like to formalise with collarings etc., then when one party opts to break it, the nature of the relationship as well as the fact of it must also be broken? That would mean the (ex) master should no longer behave as the imperious dominant, ignoring or cutting off the person he has just rejected, serving his own emotional needs to the exclusion or hurt of the other. That may be fine if and when that's the deal between them, but once it's no longer the deal, surely the (ex) master ought to relate differently to the person he has rejected, as a fellow human being and not a master any more? i.e. offer what explanation, comfort and friendship he can. That won't, of course, make a parting pain free. We all have a right of veto in any relationship, but shouldn't we exercise it in the gentlest way possible, having respect for the other and what there once was between us? Shit, do I sound like a vicar or something? No doubt someone will put a different view. | |
| 7 Aug 09, 12:21 AM changeling221 UK(MK), 2 yrs |
I think some dominants actually are like that all the time ie serving their own emotional needs only. Therefore, when the relationship ends, they can't (won't?)revert to a friendly respect for the submissive, they just carry on being how they were in the relationship. If that included treating the submissive coldly, then it will continue that way.
| |
| 7 Aug 09, 5:53 PM a_gloomy_kitty UK(SS), 3 yrs |
i can argue the same being said for subs... its harder when you dont understand why i guess, im sorry your going through it x | |
| 7 Aug 09, 9:25 PM FetishJess UK(BN), 5 yrs |
Some people feel the need to share and some don't. Not all ways work for everyone. | |
| 8 Aug 09, 7:29 AM LittleMissLeather 4 yrs |
When you find a better Dom, they are out there.
In the mean time have fun enjoy being single it has its advantages. Go stay with a friend go out have fun and LAUGH ALOT xxx The slave escapes her bonds to find a stronger set of chains. | |
| 8 Aug 09, 9:59 AM rebel_angel UK(RM), 4 yrs   |
Sometimes the hurt never stops it is just the brain forgets. You many find in years to come you will hear a song or you'll remember something from your relationship and it will bring back the pain. But all I can advise is except that this part of your life is over and you will move on and things will get easier. You may find you have done nothing wrong, it is just the way the relationship has come to an end, if this is the case please remember you are a stronger and more experienced person from this. Remember the good times, and remember you will feel better as time goes on and the brain forgets. I hope you feel better with everyone's advise and support. xxx Life is a game, it just depends how you play it. |
changeling221
