This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Sun 31 May 09, 4:24 PM slavetohim 2 yrs  |
I'm new to this site, so please forgive me if this is the wrong place to be posting this. I was in a Master/slave relationship with someone for around a year and he just recently released me. When he did, I was closer to them than ever before. Atleast, I thought so. But one day, all of a sudden, he just let me go. And he's not been very responsive to my emails, calls or texts since then. This was my first ever bdsm experience, and i'm not sure if it hurts more because of that. My question is, when does it stop hurting? | |
| 31 May 09, 4:28 PM ConsciousnessJunkie UK(N), 5 yrs  |
The same amount of time as any relationship takes to stop hurting. It depends on you and him and just about every variable surrounding your relationship. It just takes time. | |
| 31 May 09, 4:34 PM louise_sub UK, 2 yrs |
no different to any other kind of relationship, there is no set time. Seems strange to me that he cut you off without any indication something was wrong, without giving you chance to make any necessary changes, or without affording you the decency of an explanation. It would be easier to accept if you had a reason but if he is now avoiding you thats going to be pretty difficult. Maybe does have a valid reason, maybe you will never know... all you can do is strive to move on. Good Luck x | |
| 31 May 09, 4:40 PM SinPar US, 11 yrs |
You may always remember it, but for me the pain of it did fade in time. SinPar -- The weak are the most treacherous of us all. They come to the strong and drain them. They are bottomless. They are insatiable. They are always parched and always bitter. They are everyone's concern, and like vampires they suck our life's blood. (Bette Davis) | |
| 1 Jun 09, 12:41 PM Iphis_me UK(E), 4 yrs |
The only answer, I think, is as long as it takes. That will be very specific to you, your situation and the relationship you were in. Being in a similar place myself, I'm very aware of the risk of rushing into something else just to make the pain recede, to feel cared for and wanted......but I recognise that, for me, that would be a bad move. Apart from anything else, far more vulnerable than I have ever been before, I doubt I would make a good choice. I believe it will get easier in time. I just don't know how much time that will be. "That hurts......please don't stop!" | |
| 1 Jun 09, 2:57 PM Devodiva AT, 2 yrs |
you poor thing! I have been through this too and the only answer I can give you is that it will take untill you manage to fall out of love. I did this by concentrating on the things that went bad. I went out a lot, I cried, I wrote letters I never sent and I kept him off my mind whenever I could. I thought about other wonderfull things and I was as nice to myself as I could possibly be. After I was no longer in love with him we became friends and today I am very glad that he set me free. There are many men out there who would love to be with you. And there is sure one who will make you love again. All the best for you, take care. | |
| 8 Jun 09, 12:15 AM Neptunite UK(BN), 3 yrs |
Such a harsh harsh pain! I feel for you, I really do x Hope it gets better real soon...
Do all the crazy stuff (relatively) you need to do to start with, for as long as it takes to get out of your system, just remember you are worth much more than the way you are treated. It's not fair to not be given the explanations you need. But that just makes you the better person in my opinion "She said I need somebody...smarter than me, I need to exercise my vocabulary! I'll shut up and learn from... I'll shut up now." | |
| 8 Jun 09, 11:08 AM BadWulf UK(TA), 6 yrs |
I am not sure it IS like any other relationship. A first time D/s when you let all the walls down and submitted all of yourself can be far more intense, with corresponding greater feelings of loss and betrayal and emptiness. (For both Dom and sub I hasten to add). Most of us here I think have been there, and yet are here still. I posted something recently which seemed to hit a chord with an awful lot of people, was simply that The intensity we seek invariably has a price, but for me it has always been a price worth worth paying. I hope that for you also in time this will come to be the case. - John My, what sharp teeth I have. Edited 8 Jun 09, 11:05 PM by BadWulf | |
| 8 Jun 09, 12:13 PM hailstone UK(HD), 8 yrs |
The initial pain goes eventually, to be replaced by a less painful ache, which serves as a useful reminder later on. Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. -- Anonymous | |
| 9 Jun 09, 10:27 PM curvybabe UK(M), 3 yrs |
I know how you feel Slaveforhim. I was in my 1st Master/slave relationship with my Master for 18 months. We had our ups and downs but thought we where ok at time of release. And he let me go a month ago and I'm still hurting and miss him so much. To me a part of me has died. I don't know what I did wrong. I did my best and now he still talks to me but he wont say what I did wrong he just says its him not me. I think in time it gets better but at the moment its still raw for me. Good Luck x | |
| 9 Jun 09, 10:31 PM Lady_Susan UK, 5 yrs |
It stops hurting as soon as you learn to let go. Trust no-one. |
