Straight Male Fantasy: To serve another male...... (93)

you are straight, they were straight, bi or gay. Was there a sexual element aside from being brotherly and comradely?

Would love to do more of this, as I have only done it once. :P

I'm a gay female (yeah, I know, the exact opposite of what has been discussed). I do not have sex with men and I do not play with men. I've been "out" as gay for about 16 years.

However, just recently, I've started looking at having the occasional scene with a man/woman co-topping situation. This has developed into something I'm going to be looking at trying out soon, though under very controlled circumstances to start with (for reasons of trust and safety).

Does this make me a bi-sexual in denial? I don't honestly think so. There is nothing explicitly sexual about this, it's simply a curiosity about a different dynamic, a different energy if you like. I've always said that if I met the right guy, I'd be quite happy to date guys, it's just that I have never met one that I fancy. That's still true.

Now, these are my thoughts on the subject, and others are bound to have other thoughts about it! I don't think all BDSM needs to be overtly sexual. Yes, there might be an excitement, a sort of tingle/frisson, if you like, but it's not always about sex. BDSM in its core is also about the energies, the dynamics, the tension, the submission. And the reasons behind it can be incredibly complex. It might be the humiliation, the control, the submission or domination IN ITSELF that someone finds exciting, rather than the specific person/gender. Perhaps it's the fact that it's such a taboo that lends itself to a different dynamic, a different tension.

Or, perhaps there are just an awful lot more bisexual people out there than ANYONE gives credit to! Wouldn't THAT make for an awesome Pride march...LOL

That's a good question, but one I find it a little tricky to give a proper answer to, for a couple of reasons.

The first is that I haven't done enough of this to give much of a reply. I have been wanting to do more, but I am kept pretty busy with the women and well, when I have advertised for men it has been very dissappointing - I have a half written blog somewhere about that, and the really striking difference in quality of contact, from the men and the women who have approached me.

The second is that it has mostly been to make eye candy for the dominant woman in my life, or just some casual ropey fun, teaching and sometimes in a professional role. So again, the focus hasn't been on examining my own responses so much as just getting on with it.

Third, hmmm. Well, even when I play with very attractive women subs, the deal is that I remain sexually monogamous with my life partner, so I don't think I'd be typical, like that. And with the girls, blimey it gets pretty steamy hot sometimes, there is a major sexual element to it, but that is also adjusted to negotiated levels. Some I will use repeated forced orgasms as part of the dynamic, with others it's about power dynamics and a different sort of intimacy - epona's excellent contribution above is well worth a careful read. She said many things I was going to.

Fourth, with the gay and bi guys, I have been aware that there is the potential to use the sexual side as an extra weapon, so to speak (!), just as I can use tease and denial as a weapon as with the girls. With another straight guy, that aspect isn't really there.

But as I say, my experience in this is pretty limited, so I have enjoyed this thread a lot, some good, thought provoking stuff, I must say.

ETA: One thing I do find interesting, though, is that relatively unclouded by the sexual side of it all, the power dynamics, all the other aspects do seem to be revealled in sharper relief somehow. Hence the comment about it feeling brotherly, even when I am hurting or humiliating them. And that I find quite fascinating, it's that I want to explore more, I think.

But that does mean I am off topic rather, since sexual service isn't what I'd be about.

Why poison your liver when I could eat it for you?
The antidote to whinge threads...?

Edited 3 Jun 09, 1:00 PM by Jahc99

Being made to eat chocolates is no big deal if you love them, but if you hate them.....

It was not me it was Jason
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AandJ_Uniform/

Some very interesting points, well I think so anyway.

M

Space travels in my blood. And there ain't nothing I can do about it.
Now I know I'm being used but that's okay cause I like the abuse.
I can resist everything except temptation.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt and then it's just hilarious.
Cake or Death?

[at the risk of hijacking my own thread] do females enjoy watching m/m play as much as males enjoy f/f play? I guess not

but [more to the point] ........

is Jason straight Ashlea? If so, how does he feel about this subject, particularly baring in mind your proclivities in this area? We, the readers of this thread, presume that you will have probably discussed this topic in the past.