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| TheFalconer |
on Tue 19 May 09, 12:38 PM to TheFalconer's blog.
Idle thought for a wet Tuesday building on a conversation I had last week...
Are people in exclusive relationships the wallflowers of the fetish scene? Does a lack of interest in playing with others mean that you're less likely to build links to other people on the scene, and maybe even be less likely to frequent scene events?
Have been rolling the thought around in my mind and am still not sure what I think. Logic would seem to suggest that munches mean this isn't true, but I'm not quite convinced.
| 19 May 09, 1:40 PM epona74 UK(SL), 7 yrs |
For me, no. My first foray into the scene involved a very different me, one that couldn't even IMAGINE playing outside my relationship. That certainly didn't prevent me from getting to know other people and making friends (my overwhelming level of insecurity DID prevent me, but that's a different issue). Thisi time round, I'm a little more relaxed, and will consider play outside of my relationship (though only with people I trust implicitly), but tbh it's only happened twice (and one of those was prior to the aforementioned relationship). That doesn't prevent me from going out, talking to people, making friends, and so on! To be honest, although I go to my local club every time it's on, actually playing there is a rare thing indeed for various reasons...I go and socialise, have fun, and watch others. Am I a wallflower? I don't think so! I certainly attend plenty of fetish events (jokingly we say I've moved in to my local club), and I have certainly made lots of lovely new friends! I don't personally see socialising and playing as necessarily being the same thing...I want FRIENDS, and perhaps I'll play with someone in the future, but I have to KNOW them, and that's the important bit! Just my two pennies' worth, anyway :o) |
| 19 May 09, 1:44 PM janusxuk UK(HP), 7 yrs |
It depends how exclusive "exclusive" is. The couple may have a definition that precludes playing to learn new skills. Even so, I don't think even fully exclusive couples are the wall flowers of the scene, why should they be just because they only play with each other. You don't need to play with people to make or keep friendships, nor to be generally sociable. If you did, fet clubs would be far less sociable and friendly places. No, to be honest I think the scene's wallflowers are the new people with their rabbit in the headlight "omglookatthat andthatandthatandthatomgomgomg!" stare. And we know what to do about that don't we children, that's right, adopt a newbie, make them a friend and help them enjoy our world. Lovetrix summer festival: July 11th and 12th. 10 weeks to go! |
| 19 May 09, 2:05 PM TheFalconer UK(S), 6 yrs |
I expect you're both probably right... was just a thought which bubbled up after talking to a friend who's much more immersed in "the scene" than I am and noticing that all the links she was describing between people she knew were based on people having played with each other. "Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace." - Oscar Wilde |
| 19 May 09, 6:05 PM GazUK1963 UK(B), 6 yrs |
The vast majority of my time on the scene is spent socialising, not actually "playing". I have only ever met a couple of people through "play", but hundreds through socialising at events, or chatting on here. Gary. Everyone who lives dies, but not everyone who dies has truly lived. |
