Feminisation as humiliation (20)

Yes, that's my point and why I mentioned it being a blanket statement, but it isn't what Doghouse said.

Generally, I would say that doing or being made to do something that makes you feel self-conscious, embarrassed or degraded, particularly in front of an audience, could be considered humiliating. Of course the audience's reaction can have a profound impact on the overall effect too.

I can understand why people would find cross-dressing humiliating in certain non-bdsm settings, because they'd stand a good chance of getting the piss ripped out of them (i.e. 'audience effect'). But even then, a confident person could mostly just 'laugh it off'. Similarly, if I were to go to one of my regular events in female attire, as a dominant man, people who know me would probably say something along the lines of "Neil, what the fuck are you doing in a dress? Nice legs, by the way", so I would feel out of place, and therefore self-conscious, and therefore a bit uncomfortable. But even then, depending on the circumstances, I'd still probably just laugh it off. (To be honest, I can't actually imagine any circumstances when I would be in a fet club dressed as a woman, but there you go).

But it's all about context. I've dressed as a woman on a night out before, and within the context of a group of lads having a laugh dressed as very unconvincing women, there's nothing humiliating about it at all. Similarly, a man dressed as a woman in a fet club is generally accepted and therefore not out of place. People wouldn't mock them (unless they wee asked very nicely), so there would be no audience effect either. So how do people get humiliation out of it? I don't know, to be honest.

Something witty and profound...

Have to love the Blue Peter approach to Internet debate; 'it would take a while to answer all these points, but he's some answers I made earlier.'

The notion that it is sort of a process of making men eat their own archetypes is quite appealing though.

Food for thought. Nom.

I shall not feed the trolls, Trolls are the mindkiller, Trolls are the little death that bring forum oblivion.

Why do I now have the desire to be dressed as a post-feminist urban woman about town??

That seems really appealing

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I agree with Ms Slide, always the right thing to do hehehe; it's the process of stripping a man of his masculinity, mocking and demeaning him as 'we'/malehood demeaned women in ages past.

My experience is relatively limited but I've been able to identify three reasons, none of which draw their strength from the idea that feministaion equates to weakness or a 'demotion' from masculinity.

The first has already been covered above; to be made to wear items that one has been conditioned from an early age to view as taboo was, for me, an extremely alien experience. Add an audience that delighted in my self-consciousness and feelings comparable to humiliation were a natural, and thrilling, consequence.

The second element is that for someone to exercise their power over me by transforming my appearance and, albeit temporarily, my identity is to feel deeply powerless and humiliated.

Thirdly, lingerie is often designed to accentuate particular parts of the body in a way that most blokes underwear doesn't. Knowing that I'd been dressed in a particualr way to provide my partner with an aesthetic thrill was to feel that I'd been turned into a sexual object. Not because the clothes were associated with femininity but because they were likely to promote a particular response in the observer.

I'm not sure I've explained myself particularly well. But it's the best I can do.

T.

Edited 21 Feb 11, 10:00 PM by Tapestry

the light dawned. Ms Slide rocks. And then reading JennyM's comparison with dancing (another act which is so alien to my nature as to feel humiliating) - a penny drops.

I hope it never happens. At least I think I do. But I can see how if it did, it would be submissive, it would be humiliating and demeaning, in a way which doesn't conflict with a high view of womanhood.

Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/226772/

Does putting a non-TV in women's clothes stem from the days when a misbehaving boy might be forced to spend the day wearing his sister's dress?

The process would be meaningless to me,unless there were other women present to mock me.Then I think it could be made deeply humiliating!

Thank you Mistress.