Great girl friend/rubbish dom. (49)

She's split my bum three times. Not wide open but, enough to make using the toilet very sore for a week or two. I have banned her from using whips, floggers and paddles as she cannot avoid my kidneys.

When we have vanilla sex she pulls at my chest and rips hair out. I have scars and boils all over my chest but, I'm not allowed to wear a T~shirt as it 'ruins it for me' She gets to cum loads of times and then I have to go and finish myself off in the toilet. I don't know what to do. I'm getting really pissed of about it.

Edited Mon 4 May 09, 4:37 PM by scrubberboysw2

It's up to you. Why you are asking the general populus whther to dump you're girlfriend or not is very odd.

But No, personally, I wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone that couldn't play safely and didn't give a shit about my needs or desires. But maybe, as her submissive, that's the whole point?? Its all about her pleasure and enjoyment??

Nyx: the primordial goddess of the night. A shadowy figure, Nyx stood at or near the beginning of creation, and was the mother of sleep and death. Her appearances in mythology are sparse, but reveal her as a figure of exceptional power and beauty.

If all you have said is true then she's obvously not playing safe but I think the last thing she needs is you posting personal stuff up on the internet for all to see with out discussing it with her. She obviously needs guidence. As for the sex thing I have been banned cumming while wanking or being fucked till I just reach the edge then the Domme stop, been riden but not allowed to cum for weeks. Was if fun? No but if you chose to submit to some one then you have to obay the rules if you don't like it leave.

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.

Edited 4 May 09, 4:50 PM by Lexxxx

I was taught right from the beginning, if you don't know how to do something properly, find someone who does to teach you.

There are plenty of places that offer workshops and demos, and I really think from what you've said that you should persuade her to go. At the very least point her to some educational websites.

It's time someone published "Domming For Dummies", in fact anyone interested in a collaboration on such a book memo me lol.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign. Mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Perhaps it is, when it comes to her erotic pleasures

As to the other issues perhaps the OP needs to just talk to her openly without putting her down as "rubbish" and perhaps, as already suggested a bit of further learning never goes amiss!

Somehow though I've got a feeling the OP already has a Domme but not the perfect one he might want in his dreams...

Lip Up Phatty

Edited 4 May 09, 4:53 PM by Miss_Namio

To a point, maybe, but not in the way he's described. Put it this way, I can't imagine many female submissives putting up with that kind of crap from a male dom. Why should it be any different for male subs? If he's not happy with the way things are then he's not happy.

EVERYBODY... JUST - CALM - THE - FUCK - DOWN!!!!

I wholeheartedly agree. When I said it was about her pleasure, I was referring to him not being allowed to come in her presence and yet Her demanding multiple orgasms.

There is no excuse for unsafe play, when there is a wealth of opportunities to learn how to do something safely. I think this couple just need to have a serious chat, as you said. I never intended to imply in anyway, that a male sub should just expect this level of torture, and continue to worship the woman regardless.

Nyx: the primordial goddess of the night. A shadowy figure, Nyx stood at or near the beginning of creation, and was the mother of sleep and death. Her appearances in mythology are sparse, but reveal her as a figure of exceptional power and beauty.

Quite so...

But to the OP.. surely some reasonable two way communication could help her understand these things you explain.

The idea of the Domming for Dummies is funny but so accurate.. what a wonderful book that would be. It is a little like a pick and mix though isn't it.. pick the techniques, activities that are for you and leave the rest.

Have you tried reading a book.. The Art of Sensual Female Dominance by Claudia Varrin is a guide for women and covers all different aspects and is very thorough in terms of safety IMO... just a suggestion incase speaking to others isn't an option for you both.

If I take you from behind, push myself into your mind When you least expect it, will you try to reject it? Give it up, do as I say; Give it up and let me have my way..

what problems can you reach a compromise on, e.g. do you LIKE cp but can't handle that fact that she does it at a level you're not comfortable with... could you deal with heavier play with a more prolonged and gradual warm up? do you warm up full stop?

get her to practice her aim on inanimate objects before she starts practicing on you.

involving a mentor could be a good idea but it's not for everybody. i'm of the opinion there's nothing you can't sort out between yourselves with an open and frank discussion.

as for the chest hair thing... make it clear you don't like it, won't put up with it. think outside the box? remove it yourself; shave it or wax it or something.

remember one thing; you're a sub, not a doormat.

as for the sex thing... can be difficult but, again, be honest - maybe you can deal with denial to some extent but not to the extent you have been... make it clear you have needs too.

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