Why am I such a blinkered cliché about switches? (62)

Living in a box....!!!

It's possible to do both of the above with a switch... if they'll let you near them.

Being a switch doesn't always mean you can/want to do both the D and the s with the same person. I'm sure you've probably chatted with more switches than you're aware of because - some will feel bottom towards you and others won't, it's all down to your personal interaction with each individual (I'm pretty sure not all submissives will want to submit to you, even though you identify as a dominant).

If you don't want to play with a switch (and let's face it, they may not want to play with you, either) just try chatting with them... IME they tend to have a less biased, more accepting/open-minded attitude to D/s than those who are strictly s or D, because they can relate to both sides of the coin (in varying degrees) and try to be more tolerant of the intricacies of the human psyche.

To some people I bottom, to others I Top - but if I don't feel like being either, I won't. The one sure thing is.... I am myself and it won't always be immediately apparent what aspect of my sexuality will emerge (if either one does). Call me cautious or fickle, if you wish, but there are not many who get intimate with everyone they meet and I'm no different.

Not everything in life has to be black & white?

*Hmmmm... a Sunday morning ramble, I think I'll stop there. *

"Truth is stranger than fiction."
"It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not."
Q. What are the components of a good dynamic? A. The mutual desire to share ourselves with each other.

If I was talking to someone I liked and was interested in playing with and they said they were a top/Dom then I'd continue to look into it, however if they said they were swtich they'd almost get crossed off my play-list. Not because I didn't want to play with a switch but because I didn't think they'd necessarily want the same things I did and I worried about reading them wrong.

This has completely gone now because almost randomly I started playing with a switch I had known for quite a while, and it's been one of the most fantastic experiences.

So back to OP I think that possibly playing with a switch or co-topping or something would help? Though if you like someone and want to interact with them surely the fact that they were switch wouldn't matter? Perhaps you just haven't met any compatible switches yet

Yeah, it is wrong. I salute the honesty behind the question, though.

The idea that a switch isn't 100% dominant is wrong. I don't even need to ask my sub to know that. And vice versa.

But, since days of yore, various untruths have been put about, ranging from the completely bonkers to the plausible sounding but still wrong.

They have been taken on intellectually, debated and be-dunked. But despite that, there are still residual false pre-conceptions pervading people's attitudes. So you get situations like this, you know it's wrong, but there it is anyway. Maybe it's just a kind of time lag, an inertia of sorts.

Seeing the reality of switchcraft firsthand, engaging with switchkind directly will sort it. Nothing like direct real life experience to overcome these things. Doing our little bit to that end today, as it happens. Me, my sub and my domme are doing a public demo.

It's funny - in the early days, when I switched in public, I had people say 'you can't do that!', even though I just had! Now we are doing the demo**.

Times really are a-changing!

** If my damned knee holds out - rather worried, knackered it somehow, can hardly bloody walk! Grrrr!

Why poison your liver when I could eat it for you?

I LOVE SWITCHES!!!

xxx

Did I mention? I love my life!

This changed later - as a sub I dated switches who I found wanted topping - but I seemed to want to top them, which added to the confusion. Things aren't entirely simple with a switch, which I think puts people off. For me right now, this is a good thing. I am not simple. For example, I am poly, and used to be a poly sub and now am a poly switch with little to no interest in subbing right now. People who can handle my complexity tend to be attractive to me, but I don't have a problem with people choosing a simpler path.

You can't change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails.

Well ok.. When I just started out at WIITWD I used to be kind of unpleasantly baffled by switches. Nowadays I think it was cause I was insecure bout myself back than.

So I've had some topping experiences since. Which made it rather clear that I dont considder myself to BE a switch, but to be ABLE to switch.

I still considder myself to be mostly submissive (to use that word, for actually I'm not that submissive, in the usual sense of the word, lol).

The answer for me lies within the interaction between the individual personallities of both people incolved. Only when I was able to look further than at the obvious things, I was able to allow myself to top, and fully enjoy that.

Also, it made me aware of the fact that although I am able to top in certain circumstances, it doenst mean I have to indentify as "A" switch. I dont, BTW.

Likewise (sidestep) I dont considder myself to be bi, although I can enjoy being together with a girl.

I learned that I'm not anything 100%. That would be a 2D vision. And it would deny parts of who I am. Likewise, I reckon others arent 100% sub or dom either.

So after that I just allowed the other persons personallity, and the interaction we had between us (which can be very different from person to person) to be the decisive factor. And there definately was something hot in sometimes not knowing where the dice would roll, at first?

Apart from that, the very nice thing bout switches is that they kind of understand both sides? Which makes communication easier IMO?

Edited 3 May 09, 10:50 AM by othyim

"Have people always been this angry? I've got this really funny idea that before the internet people would just write FUCK YOU! and attach it to pigeons" - Russell Howard

Aah, the old yin and yang... Yes I'm sure on a really really REALLY deep level we're all androgynous bisexual switches!

But thankfully any submissiveness in me is safely buried under several thick layers of conditioning, machismo and insecurity...

http://RopeTop.com

Thats only because you havent met the right woman yet init

~* Raku wa ku no tané; ku wa raku no tané. *~

Of course its not wrong, you can discriminate over who you have kinky fun with however you want, its your sexuality! If you only liked big-eared women with ginger hair, differently coloured eyes and a pineapple shaped birthmark on the cheek no one would have a problem.

Is swallowing semen canabalism? What have I become?!