20 Apr 09, 3:33 PM
Fire_Fox
UK(DD), 3 yrs
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OK, perhaps stress isn't the right word. Would “control” be better?
Does someone who goes from one extreme, in the real world, to the opposite extreme, in their private life get a greater buzz than someone who is less used to being in a controlling position. Does the greater the swing necessarily mean the greater satisfaction.
Mind what people do, not only what they say for deeds will betray a lie.
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20 Apr 09, 7:44 PM
BigOldHector
UK(DE), 10 yrs
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x_Thunder_x wrote:
Plinth_For_Her_Feet wrote:
Like it or not, paupers don't tend to get much "action" in the world of BDSM - they can't afford regular high-priced pro sessions and even apart from that, lack of dosh can be just as much a social impediment to possible relationships for a man in this world as any other. Doesn't mean they don't have the same desires though.
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you are talking, as you have said in the part I've snipped out, as someone who pays to see Pro Dommes.
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???????????????????????????!
Well,I don't know where you got that from, but it certainly wasn't in my post.
As it happens, and as the Marquise pointed out earlier, I have been exclusuvely hers for over a year now, and it was a considerable time even before that since I last entered into any kind of paid arrangement as the type of services typically offered by pro-dommes are not quite my "thing" anyway
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you certainly can't make that sweeping statement that "paupers don't get much action in the world of BDSM" for everyone
In my case there is no role reversal as I've always been dominant and in charge of my own life. In the case of my 2 subs/slaves , they do indeed both hold responsible jobs and there is a partial role reversal in their cases (partial in the sense that there is also an underlying submissiveness)
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As I think you are now aware, I was speaking purely from a femdom perspective. That is because it is only in the femdom arena that this stereotype of the "CEO who pays for spanking" always seems to arise. And this is an area where the criterion of "the man always pays" seems to apply if anything far more so than in vanilla dating (not always, before any individual takes that personally, and certainly not in the case of my Mistress).
Your final comment actually echoes my own final comment. Your being a dom is nothing to do with role reversal, so why make that assumption about subs? I AM THE GOD OF HELL-FIRE!.....but its my lunch break right now
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20 Apr 09, 7:50 PM
BigOldHector
UK(DE), 10 yrs
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Firefox7 wrote:
OK, perhaps stress isn't the right word. Would “control” be better?
Does someone who goes from one extreme, in the real world, to the opposite extreme, in their private life get a greater buzz than someone who is less used to being in a controlling position. Does the greater the swing necessarily mean the greater satisfaction.
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I think we all "got it" the first time.
And the answer seems to be "probably not", and the assumption otherwise seems to be typically based on psychobabble that has little or no concrete evidence when that "evidence" is viewed objectively. I AM THE GOD OF HELL-FIRE!.....but its my lunch break right now
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21 Apr 09, 12:19 AM
Romola
UK, 7 yrs
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Plinth_For_Her_Feet wrote:
Firefox7 wrote:
OK, perhaps stress isn't the right word. Would “control” be better?
Does someone who goes from one extreme, in the real world, to the opposite extreme, in their private life get a greater buzz than someone who is less used to being in a controlling position. Does the greater the swing necessarily mean the greater satisfaction.
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I think we all "got it" the first time.
And the answer seems to be "probably not", and the assumption otherwise seems to be typically based on psychobabble that has little or no concrete evidence when that "evidence" is viewed objectively.
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Spot on. Submissiveness is a fundamentsal part of my sexuality. it has no bearing in my relations with people I am not in any kind of sexual dynamic with. i'm easy with myself as I am, don't define myself by my job or by my role in a relationship, and whatever my job was, I would still be submissive in sexual relationships and still be myself.
It's only a weblog 
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22 Apr 09, 6:54 PM
merrynb99
UK(SL), 6 yrs
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Romola wrote:
I don't know. I am turned on sexually by feeling powerless. I am not at all motivated in any aspect of life by the need for power, but it comes nontheless and I am perfectly comfortable with it. People who I have no sexual/romantic/flirtatous conection with often see me as dominant. I can sometimes feel sexual/flirtatious with people who see me that way, but I suspect that my enjoyment of it has something to do with my surprise and delight that
I'm able to inspire that without making any particular effort.
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You expressed this beautifully, Romola! It says so much of what I feel too, sometimes.
I wondered, in the early days, when I'd just discovered bdsm, about the same thing the OP talks about. But in my experience and view, it just isn't that clear cut. As easy as it would be to say the more dominant "out there" the greater the need to submit, and the more degrading the submission required, power exchange is never that simple.
Edited 22 Apr 09, 6:57 PM by merrynb99
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