Exchange of power or a reversal of mindset? (15)

It seems to be very common for someone with a very dominant / responsible lifestyle to be sexually submissive. Perhaps it's a reversal of mindset. People like lawyers, judges, high-powered business men/women etc. needing to be dominated by a Dom/me(s).

My question:- Does someone who is extremely dominant, in the outside world, get a greater “buzz” from submitting than someone who has a more even level in their lifestyle? In the same vein, does someone who is very subservient in the outside world, get a greater buzz from dominating someone?

Does the greater the reversal of temperament. or exchange of power, necessarily mean a greater emotional fulfilment?

Mind what people do, not only what they say for deeds will betray a lie.

This is a very common perception. But if you consider where it mostly comes from, it is not something you can read anything into at all - and certainly not a foundation for the popular but simplistic "balance" theory.

Who, whose professional or financial status we know, do we and the wider public know is a sub?

The typical answer is someone who is a regular visitor to pro-dommes (so necessarily likely to be on a high income) who gets found out and either "outed" or at least has rumours spread about them - which of course would be of no interest to anybody unless they are a person of some public prominence.

Like it or not, paupers don't tend to get much "action" in the world of BDSM - they can't afford regular high-priced pro sessions and even apart from that, lack of dosh can be just as much a social impediment to possible relationships for a man in this world as any other. Doesn't mean they don't have the same desires though.

Also, as mentioned earlier by the Marquise, there is a certain illogicality to the "balance theory" that defies cause and effect when you consider that many of us (myself too) have lifelong desires, fantasies and inclinations from childhood that far precede holding any position in life that can require "executive stress relief".

As for my own experience, starting from an impecunious beginning without a pot to piss in, my personal fortunes have varied all over the place from quite well off and in demanding, responsible professional employment to up to my eyeballs in debt and unemployed. None of which has ever had the slightest bearing on how, to who or to what degree I am submissive.

And do dominants conversely all have low status jobs and insecurity about their perceived position in the social pecking order? I've certainly seen no evidence for that assumption.

I AM THE GOD OF HELL-FIRE!.....but its my lunch break right now

It's only a weblog

Like others I have known I was dominant since I was a small child but I am in no way pushy, bossy or domineering. Equally, I am not powerless, shy, and needing to step in thigh high boots to become dominant. It is just there inside me, like one ingredient in the whole recipe that is me.

My partner, may appear to be the epitome of the theory as he is the managing Director at work and also my 24/7 sub. However, who says the boss has to be so damn dominant? My partner is skilled, intelligent, as assertive as is necessary but by no means dominant at work. He is a team person, cooperative and works well with his staff by being responsible but not aggressively, micromanaging in tight control. I think his approach means that coming home, he is then member of a different team, one consisting of he and I and he takes on a lot of responsibility within that to make my life happy. He doesn't just throw off all requirement for his intelligence and initiative when he walks through the door. All his skills are needed in our relationship, just as they are at work.

He has submissiveness within him ,just as I have dominance within me and they are there and would be there regardless of what else goes on in our lives.

24/7 subs and slaves can and do live similar lives, it is only the concept of 'ownership' which separates them.

Edited 20 Apr 09, 10:28 AM by Ms_Valentine

you are talking, as you have said in the part I've snipped out, as someone who pays to see Pro Dommes. you certainly can't make that sweeping statement that "paupers don't get much action in the world of BDSM" for everyone

In my case there is no role reversal as I've always been dominant and in charge of my own life. In the case of my 2 subs/slaves , they do indeed both hold responsible jobs and there is a partial role reversal in their cases (partial in the sense that there is also an underlying submissiveness)

^Thunder^
Owner of my "2 subs in a cubicle" gal rosa and leashed cougar

I didn't mean this to have anything to do with the amount of money someone earns or has at their disposal, though more money does give someone more options. There are all sorts of highly responsible jobs that don't come with large wages. A single unemployed person trying to bring up several kids would be a good example.

What I was trying to ask was from an emotional point, not an economic. Does someone who goes from one extreme, in the real world, to the opposite extreme, in their private life get a greater buzz than someone with much less stress and pressure. Does the greater the swing necessarily mean the greater satisfaction.

Mind what people do, not only what they say for deeds will betray a lie.

No. It's not dependent on psychobabble either.

judy

Your sub didn't make it clear he was talking about male subs

I suppose that is often the difference between a Domme/male sub and Dom/female sub dynamic

Many male subs are used to paying for what they seek - few females are (or need to be with the ratio of makes/females)

^Thunder^
Owner of my "2 subs in a cubicle" gal rosa and leashed cougar

Oh that's just going to be sooooooo easy to quantify!

Here in the bipolar ward if you shower you get a gold star, but I'm not going far till the Haldol kicks in-until then, until then-I'm strapped to this fucking twin bed and I won't get any cookies or tea till I stop quoting Nietzsche and brush my teeth and comb my hair. (Rennie Sparks)