cuckolding - the Domme perspective... (52)

Maybe I should clarify... I wouldn't want to humiliate an SO about his prowess, it wouldn't enhance the way I felt about him, even if he was brilliant at it.

If I have an SO I prefer to tell him how much he pleases me, not how bad he is - that would only be said if it were true (but, then... he wouldn't be an SO if he was unable to please me, particularly sexually).

Having been in vanilla relationships with men who couldn't be arsed to try to please me, I'm not going to ridicule an SO, in D/s, who does.

"Truth is stranger than fiction."
"It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not."
Click here for a link to "Bi Action-men" Party. Apply within.

I understand where you are coming from and would agree in most instances, however, in my experience many submissive men during scenes/play tend to be aroused by the concept of them being sexually inferior, particularly those men who are motivated by humiliation. Im not implying that a Domme should pander to the whims of her submissive, but if humiliation is of particular interest to both parties, in addition to being the most effective method of getting the desired result and response from that particular submissive, then there is merit to be found in humiliating their sexual prowess.

I do not believe it is to enhance or even damage the way you feel about them, simply to elicit the appropriate response and further their 'training', should that be what a particular dominant wants and what a particular submissive's training requires.

Edited to add - In my particular case, I enjoy praising my sissy gurls ability to worship me with her mouth (which is a particular talent of hers), whereas choose to humiliate her about her 'skills' at fucking - she is not a dominant lover, nor would I want that. I always (even during more vanilla sex) prefer to be on top, to pin my partner down and enjoy sex that way, telling my sissy it is simply because she is incapable of fucking me properly or like a 'real' non-submissive man. The point is to drive home her submission and utter 'sissy-ness', even during what is a potentially dominating male act (a whole other issue Im not getting into!). Not to mention how much it turns her on to be humiliated by her Mistress like that. It serves the dual purpose of turning us both on, as well as reiterating her role and furthering her training.

Edited 20 Apr 09, 6:33 PM by littlemissanna

Interestingly I believe that there's a painslut in every submissive, and a submissive in every woman.

No-one has a problem with that do they? Oh good.

True, but some people enjoy humiliation play whilst other's don't. Basic cuckoldry is based on humiliation play and that's a major component of it. It doesn't have to be a permanent thing, as long as neither partner has hang-ups about multiple sex partners -- the cuckolding play can then be done when it's wanted; then when out of cuckold-play you can enjoy and compliment each other.

Unfortunately, without the inherent humiliation part, it's just having multiple partners.

I agree entirely with that last remark - without the intent to humiliate and the couples mutual interest in it, all you get is one partner having multiple 'lovers'. The basis of cuckolding is the humiliation, but that doesnt mean it is the be all and end all of the couples interaction. My partner knows I love him and love having sex with him, and I tell him that, yet because we both get off on humiliation, at times when in a 'cuckolding' mindset, I choose to belittle his sexual prowess.

I actually don't want to have sex with anyone else. I know that he can give me a fabulous time in bed and I have no wish to try out others when I have everything I want at home.

I think he would be pretty mortified if I said I was going to 'cuck' him. He would accept it on the surface but I think he would be hurt and I would hate that.

I am racking my brain trying to think what I would get out of it and for the life of me, it just doesn't attract me at all. I have no wish to humiliate p in that way. Humiliation is not a big part of our dynamic.

I think if I had sex with someone just to humiliate P, I would feel a bit demeaned. I would need get a lot more out of it than I can imagine I would to make it a possibility. I think if he had a need to be humiliated big time, I would still choose another method.

24/7 subs and slaves can and do live similar lives, it is only the concept of 'ownership' which separates them.

Personally, as a sub male, i think that the Mistress having other lovers would actualy make me feel more secure in the relationship.

i would not be worried about her leaving me for another man, as She can have other men whenever she likes anyway!

Hope this makes some sort of sense...

Its interesting that you bring this up, as one of the main issues I have with cuckolding is the fact that, having fallen in love with my sub, I have no real genuine desire to fuck anyone else.

We talk about it being a 'hot' concept, as humiliation is one of my subs main kink stimuli, something that differs greatly between subs and is one of the main reason 'training' can never be a done on a 'one size fits all' basis. As, for instance, you pointed out humiliation is not a large part of your dynamic, but is a huge part of ours.

That said, whilst I know that in principle the thought of me taking on lovers is something he finds quite powerful, I am unsure if I would ever genuinely want to carry out the act, as I find it hard to even imagine myself with another man, in spite of how appealing I find the concept. Not to mention the fact that when I placed an ad on my profile, he began to panic and got very upset.

It makes me just think that cuckolding is perhaps best left to fantasy and porn.

Apologies to the thread. As you were.

As you wish

My plan is to get 2 subs competing against each other in a BDSM manner and then having the power to decide who I want to pleasure me and who will watch.

I am in a LTR wih my sub and plan to make this a regular activity about once per month.

We both enjoy the dynamics of his chastity, tease and denial and enjoying an orgasm as often as I can.

I want him to be part of it, which is the key for me. We will do and plan it together, I dont want to go meet others one on one, this is about us enjoying it together.

Winner or loser he will get something fom it and I will enjoy having two very eager men after my attention. I often deny orgasm but not necessarily penetration and I enjoy having that level of control. This way I can deny both and increase the denial.

It will be a great power rush to be able to make that decision and see the excitement and dissapointment at the same time.

I have not done this yet and am planning to do so in the next couple of weeks which made this thread very interesting and provoked a few more thoughts both for and against.