sub/ bottom vs slave... (37)

V

'It is the centaur! Chiron, halt! And let me speak with you. You taught and formed, with wisdom, strength and grace, the greatest heroes of a hero-race. In their noblest footsteps you have trod, and lived the hard life of a demigod.'

We are all what we are by our own definition, and the self-appointed "rulemakers" in the scene are in no position to tell anyone otherwise.

If someone fills a role within a relationship that they and their "owner" can realistically define as that of a slave, and that is what they feel themselves to be, then that should be good enough and further discussion is pointless.

In my own relationship with The Marquise, we have mutually understood criteria of "ownership" that we both take entirely seriously and that I am entirely committed to and try to live up to - maybe not always as perfectly as she deserves, but I try my best. And there is no area of my life that I will not compromise as far as is necessary in order to love, obey, serve, adore and please her to the best of my ability. We identify as mistress and slave, and we mean it absolutely seriously throughout all aspects of life.

But that is not because I'm some special sub-species of person that "has no rights" and is therefore a "twue slave". That is simply the way we are because I trust her wisdom and sense of what is right enough to subordinate myself fully to her will, and love and admire her enough to want to (even though by nature I'm a strong willed person and perfectly capable of being independant - and was perfectly happy to be so until I gave myself to her).

It is not about whether I am a "twue" slave by nature or by any rigid definition, in fact it is not about me or my qualities at all - it is about HER, and HER qualities that make me aware that committed devotion to her is the best possible path for my life to follow. And high among those qualities are the empathy, wisdom, responsibility and sense of right NOT to arbitrarily abuse power in any way thst will be ultimately harmful or detrimental.

In a consensual environment, questions such as the OP raises should not arise. Everyone has "rights", and even where we suspend or sacrifice those rights we all have the choice of who we choose to submit to and at what level. And we all have the right and the ability to withdraw that submission if it is inadvisably given to someone who behaves arbitrarily in a malicious or deranged manner.

I AM THE GOD OF HELL-FIRE!.....but its my lunch break right now

I was about to say much the same. Though I would also say "compartmentalisation" is as often as not a compromise forced by circumstances upon those who would prefer to be without it, rather than a choice or a trait.

I think The Morrighan's point though, is more that a dominant has a responsibility not to abuse power to the unnecessary detriment of their slave being able to function in daily life and retain normal family relations etc., rather than that D/s should be compartmentalised.

I AM THE GOD OF HELL-FIRE!.....but its my lunch break right now

An excellent post and all so very true.

I AM THE GOD OF HELL-FIRE!.....but its my lunch break right now

Now that rings a chord with me! Gives me something to think about, actually.

Girls like to be played with and rumpled a little too sometimes - Oliver Goldsmith
Every little girl knows about love. It is only her capacity to suffer because of it that increases. - Francoise Sagan

Not only that but - although I don't enjoy the activities themselves - I enjoy the submissive mental state that I enter by doing something I don't like simply in order to please my Master.

"That hurts......please don't stop!"

That's nice and it's a beautiful thing, the enjoyment you get from pleasing your Master. One of my favourite things about domming is when my girl does something I know she isn't exactly crazy about in regards to the act itself, but the overall feeling she gets of having pleased me and as a result feeling happy is something that brings a lot of pleasure to me.

I have actually done a few things that aren't really my cup of tea in the past, and felt really good about it after. The difference is it wasn't coming from a submissive headspace on my part. It was just about me wanting to please and turn on the girl I was with at the time. But there are certain things I would never do, like letting someone spank me for example, which is why I could never be a sub!

That's it - again, hat off to you: You always express these things so well.

Thank you.

Patience is bitter - but its fruit is sweet.