 |
| blacksheepboy |
I love sonnet form. It's so flexible. You can change the details of rhyme and metre, even the number of lines, but something sonnety is still left behind. This one has been brewing a few days but has just come off the mental press, so may still be a bit jagged:
She tiptoes on a rainbow's edge – I stretch to offer up my hand but she is too far by a finger's length. I catch a nervous glance behind, then she is air and mist and laughter. Embraced by breezes, an autumn leaf runs the reel in reverse: time-shifter rising from the dust to give me life. A billion murders are reduced to one in the universal eye, but she, as pure immortal sin, knows forgiveness is a lie. O forlorn, fallen angel, fold your wings and stay this night – I need to feel your stings. |
| 15 Apr 09, 5:45 PM Crystal_Eyes UK, 5 yrs   |
Am not usually one for poetry (shocking for an emo, I know!), but this is actually very beautiful and not even a TINY bit cringe-worthy (as most 'amateur' poetry is on some level!). Really lovely, 10/10.
------------------------------------------ | |||
| 15 Apr 09, 6:17 PM blacksheepboy UK(CR), 4 yrs |
Cheers Crystal. Knowing how bratty you can be, I'll take that as high praise  . For anyone else who doesn't really fancy poetry (yeah, syndee, that means you too), I always recommend you imagine a soundtrack with it - I'm thinking more Einstuerzende Neubaten than Enya here. Anything's cool if you beef it up with power chords. What's the point having cake, if you can't eat it? | |||
| 15 Apr 09, 8:41 PM ThedaVamp UK, 6 yrs |
Please check your irony levels before attempting to respond to the majority of my posts. | |||
| 15 Apr 09, 9:00 PM Crystal_Eyes UK, 5 yrs |
I had sooo forgotten that. GREAT MEMORY: you haz it.
And BSB, what is this 'bratty' of which you speak!?!?!?!! ------------------------------------------ | |||
| 15 Apr 09, 9:20 PM MsNemi UK, 4 yrs |
They know their own One of God's own prototypes, a high powered mutant of some kind, never considered for mass production. Too weird to live, too rare to die. | |||
| 16 Apr 09, 11:51 AM blacksheepboy UK(CR), 4 yrs |
Hey Crystal, you iz da haiku queen, in case you've forgotten. All this "I iz kool, I don't like no pomes" won't wash with us, young lady. Oh, and for 'bratty', my thesaurus gives: feisty, spirited, unruly, pain in the arse. You were correcting my spelling the other day. Honestly! Mai splenling! What's the point having cake, if you can't eat it? | |||
| 18 Apr 09, 1:49 PM DavetheButcher UK(M), 5 yrs |
I'm well impressed our kid! DtB Fuck Yeah. | |||
| 18 Apr 09, 2:55 PM Crystal_Eyes UK, 5 yrs |
Haikus don't count as poetry! Well okay technically they do, but they're hardly an expression of inner angst and emoness as poetry tends to be.
And I was only correcting you because you were wrong. ------------------------------------------ | |||
| 18 Apr 09, 3:45 PM blacksheepboy UK(CR), 4 yrs |
It's a bit of a shame that people do view poetry like that. I love comedic, satirical, political and bawdy verse, as much as I like the more personal stuff. Rochester (John Wilmot) was a great exponent of all those forms. People also tend to remember Shelley for his shorter love lyrics but the vast majority of his output was political and highly seditious.
Might is right. *slap slap*
Thanks Dave, and everyone, for reading. Thanks also to the muse who inspired it ... get well soon.
What's the point having cake, if you can't eat it? |
You lie! My love, my little dove... 
