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| sodsta |
Tags: North London (N)
I went along to a club recently and was told that I couldn't come in because I wasn't dressed appropriately. I shrugged, slightly disappointed, but accepted it and went home. I didn't really think on it much until later on, but when I did stop to examine things, I found I was left with quite a few questions.
Mainly... Why do fetish clubs have a dress code?
I know this probably seems like a ridiculously stupid question, but I'm genuinely curious. I was lead to believe that a dress code is in place so as to make sure that the people coming in ARE kinksters, and not just random people coming in off the street, thinking it's another night club. To easily pick out the people who are serious about kink/BDSM from the people who might just be coming along to point and laugh at the weirdos.
There's also the issue of atmosphere, which I also completely understand. And the fact that each club has the right to make their own set of rules.
However... the one thought I was struck with was... if a person is able to "prove" themself as genuine in some other way, either by being known by people on the scene, or having a bag full of equipment, or... whatever... then should the dress code then still apply as strictly? What if the most famous, well known scene player misplaces his leather trousers on the night of the club?
The lady on the front desk (who was actually very nice about the whole thing) said she could see I'd made an effort and that I was serious about it, but because I wasn't wearing - at minimum - leather trousers, she couldn't let me in.
The thing is... I really dislike leather. I dislike most typically fetish-y clothes... leather, PVC, latex, etc... I have nothing against people who like it, but the feel of it sort of squicks me. It doesn't make me feel comfortable and it doesn't make me feel sexy... and if I'm going to a fetish club I don't want to feel uncomfortable, awkward and unsexy.
I wasn't wearing jeans, but I was wearing the only other pair of black trousers I own - a pair of black cords. They've done me well in the past and at other clubs, so I assumed they would be, if not perfect, then at least passable. Especially in a venue with low lighting. I also had on a long sleeved fishnet top under a short sleeved black t-shirt, a collar, a tie and leather wrist cuffs.
I'm not whining... or, well... maybe I am a little, but the lady I spoke to was very nice about it, so I'm not placing blame or pointing any fingers. It just got me thinking. If the point of a fetish club is for people to go and express a side of their sexuality; a place where people go to *be* and *look* sexy, then shouldn't people be allowed to dress in a way that makes them *feel* sexy, too?
Edited Mon 6 Apr 09, 3:20 PM by sodsta
| 6 Apr 09, 2:25 PM xXx_scarlet_xXx UK, 4 yrs |
Sounds a bit mean to me. (º•.¸(¨*•.¸¸.•*¨)¸.•º) «.•°•. Scarlet .•°•.» (¸.•º(¸.•¨**¨•.¸)º•.¸) | ||
| 6 Apr 09, 2:44 PM firemynx_B UK(B), 11 yrs  |
It depends from club to club on the dress policy. I would say at minimum the majority of clubs will ask for a pair of black trousers and a shirt. It's probably always worth contacting the organisers in advance. Not everyone does like wearing leather, vegans for instance, and there are few clubs that I have been to that demand that strict a policy. I know most Ceasers events (Midlands) just request as above, black trousers and a shirt, no street wear i.e trainers and jeans. I really am not sure about cords, worth asking, or worth popping out and getting a normal pair of trousers? As for the reasons for dress code. Whilst I can see your point, I personally am a bit put off if I go to an event and see someone wandering around in blue jeans and trainers, immediately puts me on my guard. Plus, it really is making an effort, and putting aside every day clothes along with the headspace and slipping into something appropriate for the atmosphere. Btw, if you dislike leather, latex etc, you might find Jed Phoenix's range of clothes a refreshing change, I love it. In fact we were in the company of a gentleman on Friday night, who had a Jed Phoenix waistcoat on, and he looked fantastic! "Dear Santa ........ I can explain!" Edited 6 Apr 09, 2:48 PM by firemynx_B | ||
| 6 Apr 09, 2:51 PM switch_bitch UK(G), 7 yrs |
I think it sounds pretty mean too, i can understand, jeans, trainers and t shirt, maybe not being appropriate, but from what you say, you were dressed fine for a club. I would be whining too  I think sometimes clubs get too uptight about what is suitable, which is a shame as some newbies, prefer to maybe just wear black trousers and shirt for first time, till they get the feel of the place. Not everyone is into leather/rubber/pvc, and yes, why not wear something that makes you feel sexy, not everyone is the same, thank god !! If you go through life with your head in the sand, all people will see, is an arse | ||
| 6 Apr 09, 3:06 PM bohnanza UK(FK), 12 yrs |
One of the reasons for having a dress code is a way of checking whether people will obey the rules. If you ignore the dress code thing do you also ignore the no touching thing? Similarly it is a way of checking how well a club monitors its rules. If they proclaim a dress code and ignore it, what else do they let slip? I think stricter than average dress codes give the night an extra lift. Everyone there has made a bit of an effort just to get in the door and often they put in the same effort into making the night go well. There have been attempts an non dress code clubs, they generally don't last very long. Science, the only religion that works even if you don't believe in it. | ||
| 6 Apr 09, 3:20 PM music_lover UK, 6 yrs |
There are plenty of wys of meeting a dresscode without resorting to leather or latex. A Monks habit or surgeons scrubs are just two easy cheap examples. Many "dressy" clubs also have theme nights, just needs some imagination. God invented Guinness so I wouldn't rule the world | ||
| 6 Apr 09, 3:45 PM Melusina UK, 3 yrs |
I think that's ridiculous and I would have been very pissed off had I been there. You were wearing a collar and a net shirt? You clearly had made the effort and you've been allowed into plenty of clubs in similar attire. Lame, imo. | ||
| 6 Apr 09, 3:45 PM hiddentreasures UK, 3 yrs |
Someone told me recently that on their first visit to a club they arrived in Jeans and the door asked them to remove their jeans before entering...He was therefore still allowed entry. He spent the whole day with no trousers but at least He got in! Seems a bit unfair that the correct dress code wasn't issued to you...ie limiting it to just leather and pvc. Lots of men wear just plain ole black trousers. It's the associated stuff that makes it something special and from the sound of it, they were happy with the rest of your attire. | ||
| 6 Apr 09, 3:54 PM ThedaVamp UK, 6 yrs |
I think you'd look beautiful in a zentai leopard suit... but hey that's just me... Please check your irony levels before attempting to respond to the majority of my posts. | ||
| 6 Apr 09, 3:55 PM music_lover UK, 6 yrs |
Contrarily, I'd have been pissed off if an event where a dress code is clearly stated on the club's website decided to allow people in who clearly didn't meet the required standard. Black trousers do not equal fetish attire. Some events are more dressy than others, there are some pure play clubs that have rules that are little more than "no jeans or trainers" and others that are very very strict. God invented Guinness so I wouldn't rule the world | ||
| 6 Apr 09, 4:03 PM sodsta UK, 5 yrs |
lol ;P
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