This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Tue 31 Mar 09, 11:49 AM The_Jo UK(S), 3 yrs |
stole this from someones notes on Fet Life... OMG Too funny!!! A Sub's Rules 1. I will not hum the theme from Jeopardy while Master decides which implement to spank me with. 2. I will not annotate Master's "To Do" list. 3. I will not applaud when Master uses big words. 4. Master's dog does NOT stink. 5. I will not genuflect at Master's erection. 6. Master does NOT hog the bed. 7. I will not refer to Master's kitty as "snake food." 8. I will not snicker at the pronunciation of Master's commands. 9. I will not perform a ventriloquist act with Master's penis. 10. I will not imitate Master's accent. 11. Master's chair is not to be used to pile my clutter. 12. I will keep my leopard print sheets laundered so that Master is not subjected to "those flowery things." 13. I will not yawn while waiting for Master to climax. 14. I will not chew my collar. 15. I will not giggle during paddlings. 16. I will not propose letter grades when Master belches. 17. I will not snarl when Master asks me to share my chocolate. 18. I will not tell Master he has permission to fuck me. 19. I will not say "good boy" to Master. 20. I will not make shadow puppets in the candlelight while Master is tying me up. 21. I will not critique how Master ties me up. 22. I will not masturbate after Master falls asleep. 23. I will not go out-of-state when borrowing Master's car during lunch. 24. When Master is kind enough to bring me a cup of tea, I will not call him "the tea fairy." 25. No matter how much Master adores me, he does not get down on his knees to do so. 26. I will not yell at the other slaves. 27. I will not change the settings on Master's alarm clock. 28. I will not deliberately mispronounce words to confuse Master. 29. It is unlikely that Master pushed all the covers onto my side of the bed so he could shiver all night. 30. If I don't like the settings on Master's car radio, I can drive my own car. 31. I will not tell Master to go away. 32. I will not accuse Master of being gay when he arranges his driftwood in "artistically pleasing ways." 33. Or his candles. 34. Or his doilies. 35. I am always the spankee; I am never the spanker 36. I will keep my greasy fingertips off Master's computer screen. 37. I will not eat Master's leftovers without permission. 38. When asked how many spanks my misbehavior warrants, I will not answer using fractions. 39. I will not write on Master's back the night before his doctor's appointment. 40. I will not play connect-the- dots with Master's moles 41. I will not make lengthy "to do" lists for Master. 42. On second thoughts, I WILL applaud when Master uses big words (this overrides rule 3). 43. Hooting and whistling, however, is excessive. 44. Master is the judge of whether or not I am a moron. 45. I will be spanked if I leave the caps off Master's pens. 46. If it becomes obvious that I'm deliberately leaving the caps off Master's pens, I will not be spanked. Even if I beg. 47. A warm Master is a happy Master. 48. I will not hoot with laughter when Master accidentally whacks himself on the back of the head with the flogger. 48 is very important | |
| 31 Mar 09, 11:53 AM Nurotic_Tinkerbell 4 yrs |
Very very very Funny
Anna x x Sometimes because a woman is beautiful, she's not encouraged to be more, although she may have so much more to offer | |
| 31 Mar 09, 11:56 AM LibidinousQuean 4 yrs |
*g* I like the tea fairy one! The impression of keen whips i wear as rubies... | |
| 31 Mar 09, 11:57 AM LightningJack UK(SW), 7 yrs |
She seems a feisty gal. Just the type I love. "BOUND for Glory" | |
| 31 Mar 09, 11:58 AM submark32 3 yrs |
excellent lmao
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| 31 Mar 09, 12:00 PM The_Jo UK(S), 3 yrs |
She's a girl after my own heart lol **is desperate to use the Tea Fairy line** | |
| 31 Mar 09, 12:10 PM ConsciousnessJunkie UK(N), 5 yrs |
Oh man, I love this! Some of these I have actually done too... | |
| 31 Mar 09, 12:29 PM LittleMissEvil 4 yrs |
lol that made me smile Some people say i am evil, i have no idea why they think that. | |
| 31 Mar 09, 12:32 PM harley_quimm UK, 4 yrs |
pmsl "It's like shovelling sand into the sea" | |
| 31 Mar 09, 12:52 PM serene_firefly UK(SK), 5 yrs |
*snerk* this made me blow my coffee through my nose! ------- | |
| 31 Mar 09, 1:54 PM spankAlicious UK(N), 4 yrs |
*giggles* i think i just learnt a lesson or two in how to have some fun hehe xxx squidy smiles and kinky fun!!! |