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A sub's rules, this made me giggle (40)

This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.

Tue 31 Mar 09, 11:49 AM
The_Jo
UK(S), 3 yrs
stole this from someones notes on Fet Life... OMG Too funny!!!

A Sub's Rules

1. I will not hum the theme from Jeopardy while Master decides which implement to spank me with.

2. I will not annotate Master's "To Do" list.

3. I will not applaud when Master uses big words.

4. Master's dog does NOT stink.

5. I will not genuflect at Master's erection.

6. Master does NOT hog the bed.

7. I will not refer to Master's kitty as "snake food."

8. I will not snicker at the pronunciation of Master's commands.

9. I will not perform a ventriloquist act with Master's penis.

10. I will not imitate Master's accent.

11. Master's chair is not to be used to pile my clutter.

12. I will keep my leopard print sheets laundered so that Master is not subjected to "those flowery things."

13. I will not yawn while waiting for Master to climax.

14. I will not chew my collar.

15. I will not giggle during paddlings.

16. I will not propose letter grades when Master belches.

17. I will not snarl when Master asks me to share my chocolate.

18. I will not tell Master he has permission to fuck me.

19. I will not say "good boy" to Master.

20. I will not make shadow puppets in the candlelight while Master is tying me up.

21. I will not critique how Master ties me up.

22. I will not masturbate after Master falls asleep.

23. I will not go out-of-state when borrowing Master's car during lunch.

24. When Master is kind enough to bring me a cup of tea, I will not call him "the tea fairy."

25. No matter how much Master adores me, he does not get down on his knees to do so.

26. I will not yell at the other slaves.

27. I will not change the settings on Master's alarm clock.

28. I will not deliberately mispronounce words to confuse Master.

29. It is unlikely that Master pushed all the covers onto my side of the bed so he could shiver all night.

30. If I don't like the settings on Master's car radio, I can drive my own car. 31. I will not tell Master to go away.

32. I will not accuse Master of being gay when he arranges his driftwood in "artistically pleasing ways."

33. Or his candles.

34. Or his doilies.

35. I am always the spankee; I am never the spanker

36. I will keep my greasy fingertips off Master's computer screen.

37. I will not eat Master's leftovers without permission.

38. When asked how many spanks my misbehavior warrants, I will not answer using fractions.

39. I will not write on Master's back the night before his doctor's appointment.

40. I will not play connect-the- dots with Master's moles

41. I will not make lengthy "to do" lists for Master.

42. On second thoughts, I WILL applaud when Master uses big words (this overrides rule 3).

43. Hooting and whistling, however, is excessive.

44. Master is the judge of whether or not I am a moron.

45. I will be spanked if I leave the caps off Master's pens.

46. If it becomes obvious that I'm deliberately leaving the caps off Master's pens, I will not be spanked. Even if I beg.

47. A warm Master is a happy Master.

48. I will not hoot with laughter when Master accidentally whacks himself on the back of the head with the flogger.

48 is very important

31 Mar 09, 11:53 AM
Nurotic_Tinkerbell
4 yrs
Very very very Funny Anna x x

Sometimes because a woman is beautiful, she's not encouraged to be more, although she may have so much more to offer
Susan Anton

31 Mar 09, 11:56 AM
LibidinousQuean
4 yrs
*g* I like the tea fairy one!

The impression of keen whips i wear as rubies...

31 Mar 09, 11:57 AM
LightningJack
UK(SW), 7 yrs
The_Jo wrote:
A sub's rules, this made me giggle

stole this from someones notes on Fet Life... OMG Too funny!!!

A Sub's Rules

1. I will not hum the theme from Jeopardy while Master decides which implement to spank me with.

2. I will not annotate Master's "To Do" list.

3. I will not applaud when Master uses big words.

4. Master's dog does NOT stink.

5. I will not genuflect at Master's erection.

6. Master does NOT hog the bed.

7. I will not refer to Master's kitty as "snake food."

8. I will not snicker at the pronunciation of Master's commands.

9. I will not perform a ventriloquist act with Master's penis.

10. I will not imitate Master's accent.

11. Master's chair is not to be used to pile my clutter.

12. I will keep my leopard print sheets laundered so that Master is not subjected to "those flowery things."

13. I will not yawn while waiting for Master to climax.

14. I will not chew my collar.

15. I will not giggle during paddlings.

16. I will not propose letter grades when Master belches.

17. I will not snarl when Master asks me to share my chocolate.

18. I will not tell Master he has permission to fuck me.

19. I will not say "good boy" to Master.

20. I will not make shadow puppets in the candlelight while Master is tying me up.

21. I will not critique how Master ties me up.

22. I will not masturbate after Master falls asleep.

23. I will not go out-of-state when borrowing Master's car during lunch.

24. When Master is kind enough to bring me a cup of tea, I will not call him "the tea fairy."

25. No matter how much Master adores me, he does not get down on his knees to do so.

26. I will not yell at the other slaves.

27. I will not change the settings on Master's alarm clock.

28. I will not deliberately mispronounce words to confuse Master.

29. It is unlikely that Master pushed all the covers onto my side of the bed so he could shiver all night.

30. If I don't like the settings on Master's car radio, I can drive my own car. 31. I will not tell Master to go away.

32. I will not accuse Master of being gay when he arranges his driftwood in "artistically pleasing ways."

33. Or his candles.

34. Or his doilies.

35. I am always the spankee; I am never the spanker

36. I will keep my greasy fingertips off Master's computer screen.

37. I will not eat Master's leftovers without permission.

38. When asked how many spanks my misbehavior warrants, I will not answer using fractions.

39. I will not write on Master's back the night before his doctor's appointment.

40. I will not play connect-the- dots with Master's moles

41. I will not make lengthy "to do" lists for Master.

42. On second thoughts, I WILL applaud when Master uses big words (this overrides rule 3).

43. Hooting and whistling, however, is excessive.

44. Master is the judge of whether or not I am a moron.

45. I will be spanked if I leave the caps off Master's pens.

46. If it becomes obvious that I'm deliberately leaving the caps off Master's pens, I will not be spanked. Even if I beg.

47. A warm Master is a happy Master.

48. I will not hoot with laughter when Master accidentally whacks himself on the back of the head with the flogger.

48 is very important

She seems a feisty gal. Just the type I love.

"BOUND for Glory"
Be true to yourself if you wish others to be true to you.
If you have been bad GO TO YOUR ROOM ! If you want to be naughty COME TO MINE.
http://freeadultboards.com/login.php?mforum=cbtbb

31 Mar 09, 11:58 AM
submark32
3 yrs
excellent lmao

The_Jo wrote:
A sub's rules, this made me giggle

stole this from someones notes on Fet Life... OMG Too funny!!!

A Sub's Rules

1. I will not hum the theme from Jeopardy while Master decides which implement to spank me with.

2. I will not annotate Master's "To Do" list.

3. I will not applaud when Master uses big words.

4. Master's dog does NOT stink.

5. I will not genuflect at Master's erection.

6. Master does NOT hog the bed.

7. I will not refer to Master's kitty as "snake food."

8. I will not snicker at the pronunciation of Master's commands.

9. I will not perform a ventriloquist act with Master's penis.

10. I will not imitate Master's accent.

11. Master's chair is not to be used to pile my clutter.

12. I will keep my leopard print sheets laundered so that Master is not subjected to "those flowery things."

13. I will not yawn while waiting for Master to climax.

14. I will not chew my collar.

15. I will not giggle during paddlings.

16. I will not propose letter grades when Master belches.

17. I will not snarl when Master asks me to share my chocolate.

18. I will not tell Master he has permission to fuck me.

19. I will not say "good boy" to Master.

20. I will not make shadow puppets in the candlelight while Master is tying me up.

21. I will not critique how Master ties me up.

22. I will not masturbate after Master falls asleep.

23. I will not go out-of-state when borrowing Master's car during lunch.

24. When Master is kind enough to bring me a cup of tea, I will not call him "the tea fairy."

25. No matter how much Master adores me, he does not get down on his knees to do so.

26. I will not yell at the other slaves.

27. I will not change the settings on Master's alarm clock.

28. I will not deliberately mispronounce words to confuse Master.

29. It is unlikely that Master pushed all the covers onto my side of the bed so he could shiver all night.

30. If I don't like the settings on Master's car radio, I can drive my own car. 31. I will not tell Master to go away.

32. I will not accuse Master of being gay when he arranges his driftwood in "artistically pleasing ways."

33. Or his candles.

34. Or his doilies.

35. I am always the spankee; I am never the spanker

36. I will keep my greasy fingertips off Master's computer screen.

37. I will not eat Master's leftovers without permission.

38. When asked how many spanks my misbehavior warrants, I will not answer using fractions.

39. I will not write on Master's back the night before his doctor's appointment.

40. I will not play connect-the- dots with Master's moles

41. I will not make lengthy "to do" lists for Master.

42. On second thoughts, I WILL applaud when Master uses big words (this overrides rule 3).

43. Hooting and whistling, however, is excessive.

44. Master is the judge of whether or not I am a moron.

45. I will be spanked if I leave the caps off Master's pens.

46. If it becomes obvious that I'm deliberately leaving the caps off Master's pens, I will not be spanked. Even if I beg.

47. A warm Master is a happy Master.

48. I will not hoot with laughter when Master accidentally whacks himself on the back of the head with the flogger.

48 is very important

31 Mar 09, 12:00 PM
The_Jo
UK(S), 3 yrs
She's a girl after my own heart lol

**is desperate to use the Tea Fairy line**

31 Mar 09, 12:10 PM
ConsciousnessJunkie
UK(N), 5 yrs

Oh man, I love this! Some of these I have actually done too...
31 Mar 09, 12:29 PM
LittleMissEvil
4 yrs
lol that made me smile

Some people say i am evil, i have no idea why they think that.

31 Mar 09, 12:32 PM
harley_quimm
UK, 4 yrs
pmsl :)

"It's like shovelling sand into the sea"

31 Mar 09, 12:52 PM
serene_firefly
UK(SK), 5 yrs

*snerk*

this made me blow my coffee through my nose!

-------
There would be no words –
they didn't need them…
Once, she would have… words failed and broke her.
She would have let him lead her, once.
Still the storm raged and howled, still it rained on her new dawn…

31 Mar 09, 1:54 PM
spankAlicious
UK(N), 4 yrs
*giggles* i think i just learnt a lesson or two in how to have some fun hehe xxx

squidy smiles and kinky fun!!!

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