Posted by Just_in
on Wed 25 Mar 09, 12:02 AM to Just_in's blog.
Tis my cock, I own it.. although all property is theft, this is just something I have to keep for myself, although it's available to lease for short periods of time, just as long as you remember that it is indeed mine, not yours, it won't ever be yours but for the few moments you hold it between your lips (both kinds) and / or hands.
It's with the above that I move on to the case in hand… (not actually in my hand as I type you understand)
Like it says above I am the owner of my own penis, my penis is MY penis… what I chose to do with it, or who I chose for that matter is a case for me and the whoever else it comes into contact with, just as long as it doesn't get ill and spreads nasty penis germs around I don't see what the fuss is about.
I don't equate fucking with love, I don't equate fucking with emotional attachment, can both of these things happen of course they can, have I / do I engage in sexual activity with people I have emotional bonds with, of course I do, but for me they are no more an exclusive partnership than my non exclusive partnerships…
Am I making sense so far?
Monogamy isn't something I particularly feel is appropriate for me, I've been there and done it more than once and aside from putting into practise and it failing, it also has major flaws theoretically for me and as such I chose not to practise it.
My life my direction!
I don't have a habit of getting involved (either casually or seriously) with anyone who believes that they are going to get more out of me then is true, I always put my conditions across, as is my right! anyone who suggests that there needs to be some kind of compromise in order to accommodate both parties involved, fails to understand the point of a non exclusive, dare I say it “casual” relationship as defined by, and wanted by myself! It's my choice what I get up to and who with and any failure to meet my terms results in an impasse that nulls and voids the situation.
A crude analogy of this is:
I go into a super market and ask for veggie sausages, the spotty checkout assistant (aren't they always, regardless of age) tells me casually that they don't have any in stock but I should eat the pork ones instead cause otherwise I might offend Mr Tesco for snubbing what he would describe as a tasty sausage, I politely inform the checkout assistant that I am a vegetarian and eating a pork sausage would be against my principles and regardless of Mr Tesco's feelings I shall decline the pork and opt to shop elsewhere, at this point the manager comes over and tries to plead the pork sausages case in the vain hope that I will suddenly turn my back on a belief that I have held dear for a number of years (and I might ad at this point, something that I have had a huge internal dialogue over ever since). It goes without saying that despite the best and valiant efforts of the staff, I walk away and go to my local corner shop that have a fine selection of veggie sausages (3 kinds)
Anti-Flag said it best when they wrote:
“Don't need you to tell me what to do and I don't need you to tell me what to be... fuck you! I don't need you to tell me what to say and I don't need you to tell me what to think! what to think! what to think, what to think, what to think, think, think, think!”
Intimacy according to Wikipedia is:
Intimate refers generally to the innermost nature or fundamental character of something. Intimacy refers to a familiar and very close connection with another as a result of entering deeply or closely into relationship through knowledge and experience of the other. Genuine intimacy in human relationships requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability and reciprocity. As a verb "intimate" means "to state or make known". The activity of intimating (making known) underpins the meanings of "intimate" when used as a noun and adjective. As a noun, an "intimate" is a person with whom we have a particularly close relationship. This was clarified by Dalton (1959) who discusses how anthropologists and ethnographic researchers access 'inside information' from within a particular cultural setting by establishing networks of intimates capable (and willing) to provide information unobtainable through formal channels[1]. As an adjective, "intimate" indicates detailed knowledge of a thing or person (e.g. "an intimate knowledge of engineering" and "an intimate relationship between two people")[2].
Can't I get all of the above through the simple act of fucking? Please allow me to use the term “fucking” in a general sense rather than being specific to hetronormal intercourse
I can't?
Please read the above Anti-Flag lyrics! I think I'm old enough to know my own mind.
Is it sad that I feel this way?
Why? Explain why it's sad, why should I have to justify my own feelings? It's not like I intentionally hurt anyone, If you enter into an agreement with me with regards a “causal” relationship and then decide later on that the terms of said relationship aren't to your liking, then my advice is to remove yourself from the situation, either by ending the sexual nature of the relationship or ending the relationship full stop. I don't make demands, I only state my terms!
I should point out as a matter of fact, that I don't generally fuck any random person I feel like, the primary consideration that people should take into account is that I am not to everyone's taste therefore it would be impossible for me to fuck anyone I felt like, unless you are suggesting that I am a rapist (which I hasten to point out I am not). However if I chose on a particular night/day/afternoon/early morning/whenever to get a random fuck, then it's no random occurrence, I have made that choice as it suits my specific “want” at the time, and if I do happen to find someone who will oblige me in this matter, then that is the choice I have made according my particular “want”. It's not rocket science.
I can no more escape the fact that I am a sexual being then I can escape the fact that I have to wear glasses, sure I can not wear them, just like I can fight against my urges but at the end of the day I will need glasses to see and likewise I will need to fuck.
Next… I was going to write about how people misunderstand my flirting for someone something else, but then I realised that it was besides the point considering the fact that ultimately it's none of your business, what I do and how I do it!
I should point out that I am no bastard, I am not as cold as this makes out and I understand that sometimes there is a need for sensitivity, I am totally fine with this up to a point.. this point is:
I refuse to go against my fundamental principles in order to keep someone else happy, to do this would be to deny myself, as I stated earlier I always make my position pretty clear and give everyone the chance to back out at any point they like, I don't mind being discreet at times in order to avoid “scenes” or to save someone from embarrassment, however I explicitly refuse to disengage in something I enjoy for the sake of someone else's feelings (someone who isn't directly involved in said situation).
They are your feelings, you deal with them!
All of the above is in no way related to anyone or any event in particular, rather my musings on my love life so far and no doubt in the future. I would ask that if anyone has a different opinion on this and thinks I am referring to either them or someone they know, they should read some of the salient points above, about how I know my own mind etc etc.
I'm not much of a writer which is evident from the above, and to tell you the truth this was just a good way of wasting an hour whilst I wait for something to download, I hope it proves a worthwhile read, if it doesn't then I don't particularly care.
This is my truth, fuck yours!
“I'll never fucking live like you, I'll never fucking live like you, I'd put a fucking bullet in my head then live like the people I fucking hate, Fuck you! Fuck your society too” Blood for Blood – “Wasted Youth Crew (My Kind Belongs Nowhere)”
