Posted by Swiper on Sat 14 Mar 09, 10:32 PM to Swiper's blog.
You know what the new 'GOAB' should be? One that will always be the almighty GOAB to end all GOABs if it isn't so already? It's the extensive posts written by the female members here of their experiences with male members on various sites who write those usual 'form & type' memos or the ones where they write about the men who quite clearly haven't read the profile before memoing the female owner. But this is not a rant about the women who make such posts but about the insane situation that I have just found myself in.
I have just opened up a profile on another website and it's only two days old and I have already got well over 35 e-mails from other members. When I signed in to yahoo I had that little pop up window that usually shows up when you log in? And fuck me if I didn't feel bombarded by it all!
At first I thought 'Holy fuckeroonie! I'm a popular kinda guy!' Until I found out they're all from men...
Yep, despite my form-filling skillz, not one of them dopey buggers could be bothered noticing that I'm a dude. Every single e-mail was exactly as the female members here typically describe them to be. Two particular members persistently e-mailed me with such awful, unoriginal, desperate one-line memos in one day that I had to block them both. Others showed what can only be described as a desperate attempt to appear classy but it just came across as cringe-worthy.
I've learned a very valuable lesson from this so far, specifically in how my gender makes such typical mistakes as this:
| Some plonker who couldn`t be bothered reading my profile wrote: Saw your profile, liked it, thought I would write, since it sounded like you might be willing to endure me for twenty minutes or so....Oh, the basics: 48, 6'2", 170 lbs., glasses, white, sort of light brown curly/unruly hair, no kids never married. I think I'm kinda interesting, offbeat, down-to-earth, fun and have a quirkly/dry/sarcastic sense of humor. Hope that I am kind and considerate. I have many flaws, and a couple of them are: I'm reserved and don't open up easily, but I'm not really shy either (let me know if that makes any sense at all, it doesn't to me....) Interests: literature, history, swimming, bicycling, dining out, cooking, gardening, politics, music and other stuff (not really sure what that stuff is though). When I meet someone I can get nervous and can sort of babble a bit and make nervous jokes. Does that betray a lack of confidence? Or maybe just that I like the other person? Send you some pics soon, have to get some taken. As far as d/s, somewhat difficult due to a lack of experience (despite having thought about it forever), but, for starters, being hopelessly bound and subject to whatever might strike your fancy. Having things done to me that make me struggle desperately to escape, only to realize that escape is impossible and I am subject to your utter control. At any rate, it would be great to hear from you. |
My response (yeah, yeah, I know, I know, responding is ALWAYS a mistake, but this I just had to do because I was getting pissed off with people who simply cannot read a profile):
| Lord & Master of all that I Survey wrote: Based on extensive experience with people who talk themselves up when it comes to their intellect, I can attest that it's not all uncommon for people who state that they enjoy literature but somehow find it difficult to comprehend the basic instructions of what's written in someone's profile, especially the part when someone specifically states what they're situation is (my gender and sexuality for two!), and not only stated clearly, but with great emphasis not once but TWICE! Here's a tip: You've done better than all those one-line keyboard commandos but you went off into a tirade of what it is that you're looking for and what you would like to have done to you, but you haven't even suggested what you could do for the person you're e-mailing (if I was a female). Is that all you're looking for, to simply satisfy your own desires without a thought for anyone else? That is always a typical mistake. And based on that, it doesn't surprise me in the least that at aged 48 you are single and have never been married. When it comes to women, altruism will get you everywhere. Learn some unselfishness because I have yet to find a woman who found men who are only interested in themselves to be attractive in any way. |
I'm cutting in here as I've just received another e-mail as I'm writing this. This one is from some dude (yes ANOTHER bloke!) who's handle alludes to back passage fun. And true to form, it's one line long.
I know I sound like a shit but fuck me running is my own gender st-st-st-st-stoopid! Apart from one time, I don't get any of this on here, so what gives?
