Posted by juliettex on Sun 8 Mar 09, 1:08 PM to juliettex's blog.
Foolishly, I just realised that I've already shared that last blog!! So here's some original material from my site, which can be found at www.thenewadventuresofjuliette.blogspot.com
This was inspired by me reading Informed Consent - which I lurk on sometimes without posting anything, like a bashful perv outside Ann Summers. Anyway, this lady was saying how she loved being addressed by the C word (only by her other half, natch. If it was by the postman, I don't think she'd be such a happy little bunny.) Nonetheless, it got me thinking on the subject of BDSM scene 'terms of endearment' - and how very, very subjective they are.
This particular word ('cunt' to be specific) does nowt for me. Absolutely bugger all. It's not that I loathe it like some ladies. (Incidentally, is it just me, or are the women who go recoiling from said word like a vampire confronted by a crucifix INVARIABLY the most prissy, annoying little bints on God's good earth - the exact sort of women who you can quite clearly imagine back at primary school. They'd have had an immaculate Hello Kitty pencil tin, and very very white socks with very very clean pink bows on. And they'd have started World War 3 if you'd used one of their impeccably-sharpened colouring pencils without their express written permission given at least five working days in advance.
'Eeeeew. You should call it a tiddy. I'm telling Miss.'
I guarantee you that Anthea Turner hates the C word even more than unpolished taps and poor people.)
Now, I have absolutely no problem with this word per se, and have even been known to use it myself. The thing is, I just can't imagine it describing my good self or any part of my anatomy. For me, it's very specifically a male term - a direct synonym for the slightly more 12A rated 'wanker' - used to describe intensely unattractive and repugnant males such as Michael Moore, James Blunt and my erswhile nemesis Alan the Arse.
I therefore have a problem seeing it as this term of darkly thrilling sexual degradation.
It just makes me think of Piers Morgan.
'Slag' has the same problem for me, only in a different way. IMHO, it immediately summons the spectre of some ranting teenage Vicky Pollard, holding court to a group of like-minded chavette retards behind the bike sheds. ('Yeah but no but yeah but, right, she's a slag right and she like stole my boyfriend so like I turn round and say to her right...')
For me, it is a word that veritably reeks of Dewberry perfume and cheap hair spray.
As for 'slapper' - see 'slag', multiply by ten.
Then, there are the odd, portmanteau-tastic, home made words that I (mercifully) only know about via good old IC. Apparently, in key moments of passion, some BDSM fans actually call their significant other by such esoteric names as 'cock-socket' 'spunk-drinker' and 'fuck-pig.' And that's just weird. I mean, stop it. They're not even proper words, you dictionary-fucking lingo-shagger.
'Harlot'? Man, we're really getting into Crucible-land here. 'And thou, sir, art no gentleman. Pray let me pass.'
'Tart'? Does nothing for me. Absolutely nothing. Leaves me absolutely Ph neutral. Bit like a Coldplay album.
And then we come to the adjectives...
'Pathetic'? No way, Jose. That's not only not working for me, it's actively doing the exact opposite of working for me - laden down as it is with bagggage of The Bad Old Days and my fucking horrible childhood (see posts passim - pretty much any of them, come to think of it. Perhaps I think about this shit a little too much.)
For this reason, the word doesn't flick the switch that says 'helpless, ecstatic surrender.' It flicks the switch that says 'well fuck you too, you Japanese-mouse-dicked motherfucker. I'm out of here - and say goodbye to your fucking car tyres.'
As for anything physically insulting - and I do mean absolutely anything - see 'pathetic', and multiply by fifty million. This one could end in casualty, so be warned.
'Stupid' - well, that's not as bad as 'pathetic', and absolutely nowhere near as bad as the physical stuff. Probably 'cos I'm about a billion times more confident on this particular score than any other. And I therefore know that a - it doesn't matter two hoots in this life if you're stupid or not, so it's not even a proper insult, and b - I'm not stupid and have the exam results to prove it, so it's also wrong.
At the same time, calling me 'stupid' does nothing for me. It just seems vaguely odd and out of context in a sexual scene. I mean, who cares? This ain't geography class, dude.
'Worthless' - hmm, borderline case. All in the context and the other words sandwiching it.
No, for me, there are only three uncategorically full-on BDSM turn-on words - the time honoured 'slut' 'bitch' and 'whore.' They're classics for a reason, people.
This is purely in a sexual context, you understand. I don't want my colleagues calling me this sort of thing. In the same way, a vanilla lady may like her other half to nibble her ear gently in the throes of passion. But she'd still be rather annoyed were some passing stranger to try it in the bus queue.
Just thought I'd share that...
J x
| 8 Mar 09, 2:11 PM magpieuk UK(LA), 4 yrs       |
My friend called her girlfriend her brock biter - kind of sweet How about combinations - as in 'you motherfucking ho-bitch-slut' which apparently would get your engines a revving - it's a bit mouthy - in extremis cunt works exceedingly well for a reason - short easy to remember and you can dance to it O bugger me it's hard being interesting all the time. I envy people who can be interesting in 300 characters or less | ||
| 8 Mar 09, 5:43 PM juliettex UK, 3 yrs |
Brock biter - that sounds like a character from Jackie Collins!! 'Brock Biter, the ruggedly sexy movie legend with piercing blue eyes and a dangerous secret...' J x
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| 27 Mar 09, 4:42 PM magpieuk UK(LA), 4 yrs |
PMSL O bugger me it's hard being interesting all the time. I envy people who can be interesting in 300 characters or less |
