This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 8 Mar 09, 1:12 AM LillyMoon UK(NR), 6 yrs  |
I would use a safe text (always practice safe text...sorry  ). I would get a friend to text me and I would just reply that everything was ok and I would call at a later set time, usually when I got home.I used this on any first meeting which was always in a public place. I often had to meet people for the pagan side of life as an introduction to the group, or as a student and I used safe texts then too. It is a sensible thing to do, and if someone took offence at it then to me it showed a lack of understanding of modern life. I was never offended if the person did a safe call...actually it was flattering if they did and still stayed lol. | ||
| 8 Mar 09, 1:24 AM hummingbird UK(LS), 4 yrs  |
When I was new to the scene and met my 1st Dom I not only had safe calls I also had a friend follow us, untill I felt safe enough to let them know everything was ok and they could leave us alone. The did Dom I met on that occation didnt know at the time but I did tell him later that day and he was fine about it infact he was rather impressed that i'd done that. flying high is fun ( suspention that is hee hee ) | ||
| 8 Mar 09, 1:45 AM Graci_e UK, 5 yrs |
i always have a safe call set up with a wonderful friend....tho there have been times ive forgotten to let her know i was ok and she got mad and was ringing me every ten seconds til i answered...i got to her jst before she took the next step. there have also been times ive used her to escape awful dates...yes she's pissed herself laughing that i was in that situation as only true mates do but heck it got me out of an awful date. i wouldnt consider meeting someone without a safe call id feel really unsafe and i wouldnt enjoy it. | ||
| 8 Mar 09, 6:00 AM corsetrich UK(BS), 5 yrs |
Have never used a safe call. But have known all the females who have ever met me have had one. You would have to be pretty irresponsible not to use a safe call/txt on a first date with a strange male. My g/f always knows where i am going and who i am meeting. She never calls me but i always tell her what time i expect to be home or what time i will call her. Us males have to be safe too! First time i met Mistress at her chambers i took my g/f round to the address the evening before so she knew exactly where i would be. I have also been the person certain people have trusted enough to be their safe call. And to be honest i think it is very nice that someone can trust me enough to be their safe call. | ||
| 8 Mar 09, 7:59 AM Iphis_me UK(E), 4 yrs |
And very appreciated that you did so - I certainly thought it was important that you felt safe with us, and I appreciated that you found a way to do so without giving all my personal details (we were at my house) to someone who may not be so understanding about kink. The first couple of times I met Thunder I made sure that someone knew where I was and was expecting to hear from me. I very quickly trusted him and felt it no longer necessary, but it's a sensible precaution IMO. Of course a safe call won't prevent someone who is determined to do you harm, but it might deter some. And in the very worst case scenario it does at least give the police somewhere to start looking.
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!" | ||
| 8 Mar 09, 8:38 AM slutwolf UK, 5 yrs |
I agree that a safe call is important. However, I would be interested to know if it is something that both parties do. There always seems to be a lot of emphasis on female subs protecting their safety but even a big butch manly dom runs a risk if he is going to the house of somebody he doesn't know.
Is setting up a safe call something that any male dominants have done?
I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own. (The Prisoner 1967) | ||
| 8 Mar 09, 8:42 AM lisal 9 yrs |
Well I am not a big butch dom but a pretty big male sub and I did it once when I was visiting a PD who I hadn't met before. I don't think I'd do it again but that's just me I'd also be more than happy to use a vanilla friend as a safe call. Mine are open minded and know what I do so it wouldn't be an issue. But, even if they weren't I'd prefer to use someone I know and there is no need to explain the final details
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| 8 Mar 09, 11:25 AM JudyInDsGuise UK(E), 9 yrs |
You know, I'm absolutely fine with you thinking you're making yourself safe by having someone know where you are/who you're with. But could you please stop being so rude about people who don't agree with your ideas about what is "safe"? I'm quoting these two posters, but the same applies to anyone who thinks this way. It is possible to state how you deal with things, without saying anything derogatory about people who don't deal with things the same way. Try it sometime. judy
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| 8 Mar 09, 11:42 AM Janie_0 UK(G), 8 yrs |
Anyone going to *play* on the first night of meeting someone might be at risk. Anyone going to *play* on their second night might be at risk. Anyone playing after 5 years in a relationship might be at risk. So, safe calls are for what exactly? If someone is hell bent on murdering / raping / abusing you, they're going to do it whether someone is sitting in their house waiting for a call or not?
How long does it take? | ||
| 8 Mar 09, 11:44 AM JudyInDsGuise UK(E), 9 yrs |
I've only used a safe call once, but that's because I knew the bloke was a liar but my libido didn't care ::giggles:: My safe call made it absolutely clear that if I didn't answer her correctly, she would have no hesitation in calling the police, and that's exactly what I wanted her to do in that situation. Generally speaking though, I don't use safe calls because they aren't actually 'safe'. Most assaults on women are from someone they know, so the first date is probably the safest! So where do you draw the line and stop using them? 1 month into the relationship? Two years? Didn't someone recently get murdered despite having panic alarms in her home and people knowing who she was having a relationship with? I don't call "dead, but we know who the killer is" 'safe'. judy
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