Age differences and frustration... (5)

Actually at the moment my mojo has gone on extended holiday to outer mongolia and has been there a while.

Sweetiejar
The more you sweat in practice...the less you bleed in battle.
http://www.cmunch.co.uk

Gosh Sweetiejar, you don't look OLD enough to be 26 years older than *anyone* (OK... I know it's possible...)

But do you mind me asking how you are handling this? Does it bother you? Does it bother your partner? Do you discuss it? (We DO discuss the fact to some extent but to be honest, I find it difficult to express the depths of how frustrated I feel as I know there's not much he can do about it... so what's the point?)

I think we ALL go through phases where the mojo ebbs or flows a bit and sometimes it's just a case of being understanding and waiting it out. Illness, stress, all kinds of sh*t can mean the "good things" have to take a back-burner for a while... and any loving partner worth being with is unlikely to have a problem with that (I know I wouldn't - and I've even been the one holding back at times in the past) but what happens when it IS simply down to an age difference... and it's not likely to get any better? Walking away because someone can't satisfy you anymore seems like a pretty vile option - especially when you still love that person... and I do... and I'm not even contemplating walking away... just not sure how to get through this...

Sorry Svipdag but I couldn't disagree with you MORE! I had a quick read of the thread to which you linked and can't really see how it's relevant apart from the fact that it's referring to age play which has never been an interest of mine - a fact which isn't likely to change. Yes there is a fairly big age difference between my Master and myself but it's never been a factor in our fantasy lives and I wouldn't want it to be.

As for being provocative/bratty, I'm sure I'm quite capable of both - quite unintentionally... it's just the way I am... sometimes... but doing it deliberately to provoke a reaction, sorry but for me that just smacks (hah!) of topping from the bottom and it's just not my style...

Someone pointed me to this thread, thinking it bore relation to experiences from my past.

It does, and I've been almost exactly where you are, in terms of wanting something, needing something, craving something, and yet met with....a lack of need and drive in my partner meaning that I've been left wanting.

I've been with my partner for 20 odd years now, married for 15 of them. I love him to bits. We have a fantastic relationship in many many ways. It is highly unlikely we would ever separate. BUT, about four years ago, I had to confront that Big Elephant sitting in the room with us.

I did so in the certain knowledge that one possible outcome was us splitting up. I had to get to the stage where I could no longer compromise my wants and needs. Before I felt able to express just how big a deal it all was to me. Fortunately, our love, his amazing abilities to rationalise and think things through, and my certainty (ie i wasn't pissing about making drama for the sake of it), meant that we found a way through it.

I would suggest that acknowledging is the first step. Discussion and utter openness the next. And then be prepared for a lot of soul searching and talking and listening. Relationships are never easy, not in the long haul. Too much of what we see and hear about on the scene is the first 18 months (maximum!) or so of "chemical high love". Then it all falls to bits. We rarely read about how people make things work in the long term.

I really wish you the very best in resolving it, and in not feeling that terrible keening and craving and need. I really relate.

Feel free to memo me if you'd like to discuss it further.

Best of luck,

Rach x

Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you. - Richard Bach, Illusions

Rach, PM may be on its way in the next few days but in the meantime, really appreciate what you wrote...

Hugs gidjit x