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| prettyname |
My birthday post a couple of years ago told a story about my shoes falling to pieces in the heat, and how a complete stranger, who must have been the only foot fetishist in the area is suddenly trying to hold them together...while they're still on my feet in the middle of the bloody post office?
Well, today, not my birthday, but I wasn't feeling very well, bit of an upset tum earlier in the day though feeling better, bit of a headache, anyway, I'm on my way to the same post office, happily minding my own business, my shoes are in one piece, everything's hunky dorey...
I'm walking round to pay this bill and pass some guy, don't know him, never seen him before, and as I pass (as in overtake) he says "Good morning". It was this evening, but hey ho. Anyway, he kinda caught me by surprise so I said a surprised 'hello' back while my head did the usual scramble trying to figure out if I actually did know him or not. I didn't, so carried on. But he began to walk next to me.
I picked up my pace to scoot ahead and on my way. The guy (I think he was Portuguese, had quite a thick accent but not sure) practically runs to keep up with me and says "How are you?"
"Fine thanks. Bye!" and instead of walking to the crossing which is the direction I was supposed to be going in, and he looked like he was going, I stopped dead to cross the road where I was and looked away for traffic.
He stops in his tracks and comes back and says "Oh, I can walk this way, too!"
??
"Oh," I said while in my mind I was saying oO(Please! Not today!)
"I'm ....(can't remember, he said his name as I started to cross the road)."
"Really?" I said, picking up the pace even more.
"Yes....and yours is...." I ignored him as if I hadn't heard him. "What's your name?" he was insistant, right when I passed people, and I felt myself going red.
oO(sheesh...post office...nearly there..what's that woman looking at?)"Tracie".
My instincts are usually pretty good, and though he certainly seemed a bit weird, I didn't feel like I was in danger or anything like that, he was just, well...a bit odd.
Then he says "I just wanted you to know that you've made my day. You are beautiful, your face, your body, everything, you are beautiful and I just love your shape from the top to the ground...you make me feel good today!"
I couldn't help it, I blushed as I laughed and said "Um...thanks for the compliment. Bye."
He didn't take the hint. My head was darting left and right looking for escape routes, but there weren't any, and even though I hadn't felt threatened, he was definitely a bit odd. But I've got to admit, what he said next did kinda throw me a bit!
"I'd like to touch you."
"Excuse me?"
"I'd like to touch you. I don't mean now! I mean, one day soon."
I chuckled, mostly through nerves, but it made me laugh as I had flashes of his so called mates, teaching him English, telling him what would work on girls, you know, 'psst...say this...say that...' that was really supposed to get him a slap instead.
"Nope." I was firm now. "Not going to happen."
"Okay, maybe one day in a few weeks...", and he laughed.
"Nope! Not going to happen." I wasn't laughing now.
He laughed "Okay, what about in a few years!"
"Nope, not going to happen."
"Why not? I would really like to touch you, because your face and your body, all of you, is so beautiful"
"Not going to happen. I'm married" oO(Maybe that'll work!).
"Pardon? You're....." whether he hadn't heard or hadn't understood, I don't know as he held his hand to his ear.
I looked right at him then and said clearly, "You are not going to touch me. Ever. Because I do not want you to touch me. Ever." I looked sternly at him for two or three seconds, gave a half smile and a raised eyebrow and a look that said 'Get it now?', before turning to go on my way again.
"Awwww!! Really, you are very beautiful and I would really just love to touch you now, and you have made me feel good inside and the day is a good one, and you have really made me feel so.....strong, just by seeing you!"
I just looked at him at that point, to make sure he wasn't about to try touching me or anything, and just said "very strange..." which just made him laugh.
I was over the second crossing and going towards tesco's, hoping that's where he was going, but he carried on.
"I used to live here, but I moved to Maida Vale" he said.
"Yeah?" says me, not looking at him again, and would have crossed the road at that point, except barriers/roadworks didn't allow it until right past the post office, which is where I was going.
"Yes. But that doesn't matter. I just really want you to know how good you have made me feel, really, strong inside, like...Ahhh!!" then the fucker starts beating on his chest, just one hand, over his heart, then throws his arms into the air, while smiling and shaking his head side to side!
Well, at least that got everyone else's attention! And all I'm thinking is oO(God, please! Give me the fucking strength! Give me a break! Why me! Just let me pay this bloody bill, pleeeeeeeeeease!)
Then it dawns on me! Aha! Now I'm looking round for TV camera's, thinking this must be some sort of wind up! Nope, no cameras. Not a one...but now I keep looking just in case...
Thankfully, I got to the post office, walked fast so he had ended up trying to walk slightly ahead of me to keep up, and as he was talking and not looking, I quickly side stepped literally darting into the post office, away from the door and inside incase he looked, and ducked under the window above the counters, doing crouchy stealth moves to make sure he couldn't see me if he peered in.
My eyes were looking up...then towards the door while keeping very still....and...
...then I looked straight ahead...I hadn't even noticed how busy it was in there, until I became aware that people were staring at me, and I kinda did one of those slow, 'oops' rabbit in headlight smiles and waggled my fingers at some of the staff behind the counter. Thank God they've known me for years! 
I'm whispering loudly, half miming, half pointing at the long window above my head..."Is there anybody there?" The staff couldn't quite hear me and were pushing their ears for me to repeat, some in the queue were grinning, others just looked confused, while others looked like I was some sort of nut job, (which by the second is now becoming increasingly possible), but one kind man in the queue who was chuckling, had noticed and was watching amused, said "No, you're alright...he's gone!"
I stood up slowly, peeked to be sure, stood up straight, smiled briefly, cleared my throat, held my head high and joined the queue as if nothing had happened, apart from a little wink and a small thumbs up to the man who'd given me the all clear, and eventually, paid my bill. 
| 24 Feb 09, 10:54 PM Butterscotch UK(RM), 3 yrs  |
"Yes. But that doesn't matter. I just really want you to know how good you have made me feel, really, strong inside, like...Ahhh!!" then the fucker starts beating on his chest, just one hand, over his heart, then throws his arms into the air, while smiling and shaking his head side to side!
I laughed so much at this point a little bit of wee came out lol - sorry! Forum Junkie | |
| 24 Feb 09, 10:55 PM Sweetiejar UK(S), 11 yrs |
PMSL only you!! Sweetiejar | |
| 24 Feb 09, 10:58 PM rosarose UK(SG), 3 yrs |
lol...this really made me laugh too! | |
| 24 Feb 09, 10:59 PM goodghirl UK, 8 yrs |
laughing lots ........fantastic | |
| 24 Feb 09, 11:11 PM prettyname UK(NW), 11 yrs |
~“Nothing is ever the same as they said it was. It's what I've never seen before that I recognise.” Diane Arbus~ | |
| 24 Feb 09, 11:12 PM condemned UK(M), 11 yrs |
Bloody hell...what a tale!!!! I thought it was ME who attracted all the nutters! 'Thinks back to the time i was chatted up by a transvestite on the London train with the whole carriage silent and listening[this person was LOUD]and me trying to be very polite until he/she started doing twirls in the allyway showing me how they used to dance with hot gossip,lol! | |
| 24 Feb 09, 11:12 PM metalmiss UK(CR), 9 yrs |
~chuckles~ i'm glad it wasn't just me.. if that had happened to me i think i would have died.. had blokes follow me down the street before but what a nutter! "I would never harm you darling, but there is a world of difference between hurt and harm." - Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns | |
| 24 Feb 09, 11:14 PM astarte_cat UK(NE), 3 yrs |
I had a similar random encounter with an insistent foreign bloke. He really didn't seem to be getting the hint even after the, "I'm married" line. However, "I teach English" seemed to convince him that he was being deeply innapropriate and he then looked suitably embarrassed. And I legged it... Not that I'm suggesting that it would have worked in your case... | |
| 24 Feb 09, 11:15 PM prettyname UK(NW), 11 yrs |
Meh, that's what I thought!..x ~“Nothing is ever the same as they said it was. It's what I've never seen before that I recognise.” Diane Arbus~ | |
| 24 Feb 09, 11:20 PM prettyname UK(NW), 11 yrs |
LOL if that one made you laugh, you'll love the last post office one http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/96142/0#9... ~“Nothing is ever the same as they said it was. It's what I've never seen before that I recognise.” Diane Arbus~ |
